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Married MTFs: spouse question


RobynNYC

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6 minutes ago, Charlize said:

I am just curious Diana.....Have you had to mention your wife in a conversation with someone who only knows you as female?

 

Personally, I've had that that conversation with an eight-year-old. I didn't find it awkward at all. Out and proud, you know?

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Charlize said:

I am just curious Diana.....Have you had to mention your wife in a conversation with someone who only knows you as female?

That was and continues to be awkward at times as it is coming out publicly as a lesbian.  Even in the wonderful state of NJ that can be awkward at times.

Hugs,

Charlize

Honestly I don't think that situation has come up yet.  I'm closeted where family and friends are concerned.  I'm out at work but everyone there already knew I'm married and most have met my wife.

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1 hour ago, Charlize said:

I am just curious Diana.....Have you had to mention your wife in a conversation with someone who only knows you as female?

 

I have always referred to her as my wife, for the last 18 years, so saying it comes completely naturally for me.  I haven't had anyone freak out over it.

 

Part of that is the fact that it is totally natural for me.  I mentioned in another thread that if you act like everything is normal, people will assume that it is.  If you are self-conscious or evasive about something, people will pay attention and wonder what is up.  I try to be as normalizing as I can in my interactions with others. 

 

The unspoken sub-text of the interaction is: "I am being totally cool about this.  I dare you to be the one who becomes disruptive."  Few people are willing to accepting that dare.

 

And, of course, it helps that lesbians are considered relatively normal in society these days.  And that in Nova Scotia, some weirdness is tolerated as long as you are polite.

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We’ve been married for 14 years and I’m one of the fortunate ones that has a supportive spouse. She wants to stay with me no matter what. She jumped into the lesbian role even though our intimacy has been reduced to kisses and hugs.

 

Oddly enough, a few weeks ago she brought up polyamory as an option. I’m still unpacking that one.

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