Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Butch MtFs?


Knoxd68

Recommended Posts

Hi, I am a 52 year old, male at birth, currently bigender but leaning more and more towards a MtF identity. However, I find that I am identifying as butch woman. At first, I thought this might be a transitional sort of identity and that I would become traditionally feminine in how I wanted to express my gender identity. However, my interest and desire to be a butch, masculine woman has been a constant for me and I don't see it or want to see it change. I am attracted exclusively to men. While I know I have to be who I am, I can't help but feel like an odd duck. I have searched for information and similar experiences but have found very little. I am new to this forum and thought I would reach out to see if anyone else can relate to this sort of gender identity or know of other similar to what I've described. Thanks so much!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Not really my thing, but I've run into other trans girls who have a more "butch" presentation. There's nothing wrong with it and you're perfectly valid, no matter how you choose to present. My aunt Melba was butch as heck (also cis) and she was always everybody's favorite. Go be you!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome from a tractor and truck driving chick.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

@Knoxd68, the most wonderful thing is that you can be any woman you want to be! No one can tell you differently. If you want to be a butch woman, then you can and you should! How you identify and express yourself is uniquely personal to you. It's understandable to feel like an "odd duck" as you write... but I assure you that there are people out there who not only relate to your feelings, but share them as well.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hey there @Knoxd68 I follow a few butch m2f ladies on twitter, both are motorcycle enthusiasts.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I think that is awesome. There needs to be more acceptance of variances in gender expression.

I've seen bullying towards MtF who did not present stereotypically femme and I have seen bullying towards FtM who were not macho. It is sad to see that.


I am a FtM guy who is androgynous. I want to be able to wear makeup and feminine clothing, at the same time that I want to have a beard and wear a suit and tie.

Being feminine as a woman felt constricting to me and like I was putting on an act.

I am gay so it may be expected for homosexual men to disregard gender expectations, but the point still stands. 

 

It is completely ok for you to be a straight woman who is butch. There are guys who are into that, but keep in mind that you might also get hit on by lesbian or bisexual ladies.

Before I came out, I looked butch/androgynous, and I had interest coming from both heterosexual guys and queer women.

 

Don't feel like an odd duck - this is all completely fine :)

Link to comment

I couldn't have found this post at a more appropriate time. I can't thank you enough for posting this question. 

 

Like you, I have identified as a girl as far back as 5. As I grew up, I didn't have the natural inclination to be girly or feminine by wearing dresses or applying makeup. I like to think of myself as a Country Gurl. It took me a while to realize that not all cis-women wear dresses or wear makeup either. This included my own maternal side of the family. My mother grew up running around cattle stockyards and was a total tomboy. We lived on farms and being "girly" is not practical. 

 

I was officially diagnosed as having Gender Dysphoria about 30 years ago. But I didn't want to transition to looking like a woman. I have certainly felt like one my entire life. But I had no interest in appearing female. Many in the trans community at the time gave me grief and tried to make me feel like a traitor to the trans community. I turned and walked away. I wasn't going to be pressured to be someone that wasn't authentically me. 

 

I ran in LGBT Country Western circles and kinda became known as the cute femboy country twink. I believed at this point that I wasn't trans. I must be a very confused effeminate and submissive Country boy who could two-step with the best of the leads (I followed). And I could tear up the dance floor line-dancing. This is also the place where I eventually met my husband. I was always honest with him. And even now, he still calls me by female pro-nouns and treats me and calls me his wife. He knows how important it is to me to hear that to feel validated and normal.

 

I will never forget the day I saw a nude transmasculine guy. I about fell on the floor and my heart skipped a beat. I thought to myself, THIS is how I should look like. I showed my husband. He has been mostly supportive. I think he's afraid I might transition below the belt. He has been somewhat supportive of my growing breasts, I have been on Spiro for about 2 years. But I think he's afraid of me surgically removing my sexual organ. I assure him that I doubt that would happen. We are both pretty blue-collar and we don't have much disposable income.

 

I do wear exclusively women's undergarments, including a bra. Most of my shirts and sweatshirts are country redneck but are women's. I purchase women's tennis shoes that I wear everyday. I stopped being afraid to shop the ladies sections in stores, but lately the internet has been very convenient to find clothing that is for women but still comes across as masculine. Sadly my figure still makes men's jeans the better fit. One blessing for me is that I am not endowed much, but I still try to tuck and have a flat front.

 

I would really like to keep in touch and get to know you. It's really wonderful and exciting to know that there are others out there like us. To be going through the same struggles. And hopefully we can lean on each other for the continued strength to be unashamed of who we naturally are. 

Link to comment

Thanks so much for the supportive comments. It's great to know that I'm not alone! I would love to find women's clothes that come across as more masculine. Any tips? 

Link to comment

I've felt the same way myself. I'm learning that I'm probably bigender and have presented online as an androgynous woman for years. I'm not sure if I'd want to transition, or the the extent I'd want to, but I simply don't identify with the frilly, pretty girl-girl type. Dresses don't appeal to me, nor wearing makeup, and while I'm growing my hair out it's as much to do with hiding male-pattern baldness as it is to look more feminine.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

I'm Kira, please pardon my grammar.  

I fit this shoe as well, and since alot of you has said what I wanted to already, it's nice to know that I am not the only transfeminine person with masc aspects.  Kinda hard to lug a hot water tank up a flight of stairs girlied out.  

 

Link to comment

I read somewhere that transgender women who accepted that appearing androgynous was a beneficial. I'm not wanting to belittle anyone, but there comes a point where you can only present as so feminine that your masculine side becomes too obvious to ignore. Which is to say, accepting "butch" feminine is a positive aspect that shouldn't be ignored or marginalized.

Link to comment

i am still learning about all the research that has been done into sexuality gender etc, what i find is that they say its a spectrum, if you look at women (cisgendered women) they do come in all shapes and sizes. i understand there is butch and fem, but what is it that a person wants to 'look like' yes there is limits. its the journey that person is tacking and when you look at the idea of what a woman should be and what they should look like i think the future will look so much different, butch fem gay straight, just be happy and be unique, no one can be you and not everyone can be j-lo of kim kardashian, be the best person you can be i say

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I would have to agree ethereal on this, there does need to be more of acceptance in the community. For me even though I haven’t completely come out yet as my true self yet. It doesn’t  matter How others see you be true to your self. Kira Has hit the nail

on the  proverbial head.  

On 2/14/2021 at 5:08 PM, ladykirabellum said:

I'm Kira, please pardon my grammar.  

I fit this shoe as well, and since alot of you has said what I wanted to already, it's nice to know that I am not the only transfeminine person with masc aspects.  Kinda hard to lug a hot water tank up a flight of stairs girlied out.  

 

On 1/17/2021 at 12:02 AM, Ethereal said:

I think that is awesome. There needs to be more acceptance of variances in gender expression.

I've seen bullying towards MtF who did not present stereotypically femme and I have seen bullying towards FtM who were not macho. It is sad to see that.


I am a FtM guy who is androgynous. I want to be able to wear makeup and feminine clothing, at the same time that I want to have a beard and wear a suit and tie.

Being feminine as a woman felt constricting to me and like I was putting on an act.

I am gay so it may be expected for homosexual men to disregard gender expectations, but the point still stands. 

 

It is completely ok for you to be a straight woman who is butch. There are guys who are into that, but keep in mind that you might also get hit on by lesbian or bisexual ladies.

Before I came out, I looked butch/androgynous, and I had interest coming from both heterosexual guys and queer women.

 

Don't feel like an odd duck - this is all completely fine :)

 

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

You don't need to be girly to be a valid woman. There's no rule that says you have to present according to the stereotypes of your preferred gender!! I can personally relate, as I feel more comfy with feminine presentation even though I lean towards being FtM.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
54 minutes ago, Parker_23 said:

I can personally relate, as I feel more comfy with feminine presentation even though I lean towards being FtM.

Good evening @Parker_23

 

I totally agree with you.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 106 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Betty K
    • Breanne_O
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...