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Butch MtFs?


Knoxd68

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Hi, I am a 52 year old, male at birth, currently bigender but leaning more and more towards a MtF identity. However, I find that I am identifying as butch woman. At first, I thought this might be a transitional sort of identity and that I would become traditionally feminine in how I wanted to express my gender identity. However, my interest and desire to be a butch, masculine woman has been a constant for me and I don't see it or want to see it change. I am attracted exclusively to men. While I know I have to be who I am, I can't help but feel like an odd duck. I have searched for information and similar experiences but have found very little. I am new to this forum and thought I would reach out to see if anyone else can relate to this sort of gender identity or know of other similar to what I've described. Thanks so much!

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  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.

Not really my thing, but I've run into other trans girls who have a more "butch" presentation. There's nothing wrong with it and you're perfectly valid, no matter how you choose to present. My aunt Melba was butch as heck (also cis) and she was always everybody's favorite. Go be you!

 

Hugs!

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Charlize

Welcome from a tractor and truck driving chick.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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@Knoxd68, the most wonderful thing is that you can be any woman you want to be! No one can tell you differently. If you want to be a butch woman, then you can and you should! How you identify and express yourself is uniquely personal to you. It's understandable to feel like an "odd duck" as you write... but I assure you that there are people out there who not only relate to your feelings, but share them as well.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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Hey there @Knoxd68 I follow a few butch m2f ladies on twitter, both are motorcycle enthusiasts.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe

 

Mindy🐛🌈🦋

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think that is awesome. There needs to be more acceptance of variances in gender expression.

I've seen bullying towards MtF who did not present stereotypically femme and I have seen bullying towards FtM who were not macho. It is sad to see that.


I am a FtM guy who is androgynous. I want to be able to wear makeup and feminine clothing, at the same time that I want to have a beard and wear a suit and tie.

Being feminine as a woman felt constricting to me and like I was putting on an act.

I am gay so it may be expected for homosexual men to disregard gender expectations, but the point still stands. 

 

It is completely ok for you to be a straight woman who is butch. There are guys who are into that, but keep in mind that you might also get hit on by lesbian or bisexual ladies.

Before I came out, I looked butch/androgynous, and I had interest coming from both heterosexual guys and queer women.

 

Don't feel like an odd duck - this is all completely fine :)

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NoCityGurl

I couldn't have found this post at a more appropriate time. I can't thank you enough for posting this question. 

 

Like you, I have identified as a girl as far back as 5. As I grew up, I didn't have the natural inclination to be girly or feminine by wearing dresses or applying makeup. I like to think of myself as a Country Gurl. It took me a while to realize that not all cis-women wear dresses or wear makeup either. This included my own maternal side of the family. My mother grew up running around cattle stockyards and was a total tomboy. We lived on farms and being "girly" is not practical. 

 

I was officially diagnosed as having Gender Dysphoria about 30 years ago. But I didn't want to transition to looking like a woman. I have certainly felt like one my entire life. But I had no interest in appearing female. Many in the trans community at the time gave me grief and tried to make me feel like a traitor to the trans community. I turned and walked away. I wasn't going to be pressured to be someone that wasn't authentically me. 

 

I ran in LGBT Country Western circles and kinda became known as the cute femboy country twink. I believed at this point that I wasn't trans. I must be a very confused effeminate and submissive Country boy who could two-step with the best of the leads (I followed). And I could tear up the dance floor line-dancing. This is also the place where I eventually met my husband. I was always honest with him. And even now, he still calls me by female pro-nouns and treats me and calls me his wife. He knows how important it is to me to hear that to feel validated and normal.

 

I will never forget the day I saw a nude transmasculine guy. I about fell on the floor and my heart skipped a beat. I thought to myself, THIS is how I should look like. I showed my husband. He has been mostly supportive. I think he's afraid I might transition below the belt. He has been somewhat supportive of my growing breasts, I have been on Spiro for about 2 years. But I think he's afraid of me surgically removing my sexual organ. I assure him that I doubt that would happen. We are both pretty blue-collar and we don't have much disposable income.

 

I do wear exclusively women's undergarments, including a bra. Most of my shirts and sweatshirts are country redneck but are women's. I purchase women's tennis shoes that I wear everyday. I stopped being afraid to shop the ladies sections in stores, but lately the internet has been very convenient to find clothing that is for women but still comes across as masculine. Sadly my figure still makes men's jeans the better fit. One blessing for me is that I am not endowed much, but I still try to tuck and have a flat front.

 

I would really like to keep in touch and get to know you. It's really wonderful and exciting to know that there are others out there like us. To be going through the same struggles. And hopefully we can lean on each other for the continued strength to be unashamed of who we naturally are. 

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Thanks so much for the supportive comments. It's great to know that I'm not alone! I would love to find women's clothes that come across as more masculine. Any tips? 

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HaraSurya

I've felt the same way myself. I'm learning that I'm probably bigender and have presented online as an androgynous woman for years. I'm not sure if I'd want to transition, or the the extent I'd want to, but I simply don't identify with the frilly, pretty girl-girl type. Dresses don't appeal to me, nor wearing makeup, and while I'm growing my hair out it's as much to do with hiding male-pattern baldness as it is to look more feminine.

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  • 3 weeks later...
ladykirabellum

I'm Kira, please pardon my grammar.  

I fit this shoe as well, and since alot of you has said what I wanted to already, it's nice to know that I am not the only transfeminine person with masc aspects.  Kinda hard to lug a hot water tank up a flight of stairs girlied out.  

 

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HaraSurya

I read somewhere that transgender women who accepted that appearing androgynous was a beneficial. I'm not wanting to belittle anyone, but there comes a point where you can only present as so feminine that your masculine side becomes too obvious to ignore. Which is to say, accepting "butch" feminine is a positive aspect that shouldn't be ignored or marginalized.

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i am still learning about all the research that has been done into sexuality gender etc, what i find is that they say its a spectrum, if you look at women (cisgendered women) they do come in all shapes and sizes. i understand there is butch and fem, but what is it that a person wants to 'look like' yes there is limits. its the journey that person is tacking and when you look at the idea of what a woman should be and what they should look like i think the future will look so much different, butch fem gay straight, just be happy and be unique, no one can be you and not everyone can be j-lo of kim kardashian, be the best person you can be i say

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would have to agree ethereal on this, there does need to be more of acceptance in the community. For me even though I haven’t completely come out yet as my true self yet. It doesn’t  matter How others see you be true to your self. Kira Has hit the nail

on the  proverbial head.  

On 2/14/2021 at 5:08 PM, ladykirabellum said:

I'm Kira, please pardon my grammar.  

I fit this shoe as well, and since alot of you has said what I wanted to already, it's nice to know that I am not the only transfeminine person with masc aspects.  Kinda hard to lug a hot water tank up a flight of stairs girlied out.  

 

On 1/17/2021 at 12:02 AM, Ethereal said:

I think that is awesome. There needs to be more acceptance of variances in gender expression.

I've seen bullying towards MtF who did not present stereotypically femme and I have seen bullying towards FtM who were not macho. It is sad to see that.


I am a FtM guy who is androgynous. I want to be able to wear makeup and feminine clothing, at the same time that I want to have a beard and wear a suit and tie.

Being feminine as a woman felt constricting to me and like I was putting on an act.

I am gay so it may be expected for homosexual men to disregard gender expectations, but the point still stands. 

 

It is completely ok for you to be a straight woman who is butch. There are guys who are into that, but keep in mind that you might also get hit on by lesbian or bisexual ladies.

Before I came out, I looked butch/androgynous, and I had interest coming from both heterosexual guys and queer women.

 

Don't feel like an odd duck - this is all completely fine :)

 

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