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Forgive me if this is just a list of stuff without a point.  But it is my real life experience.

 

I'm pre op mtf.  My legalities are all female.  

Currently establishing work history in my new identity.  Amaz0nia.  2020 covidia.  Masks, but they come off for breaks.  Working with lots of people.  Gendered correctly more often than not.  Some people with clout do not like me and I am treated unfairly.  The official corporate policy is pro trans.  So if there's a problem with this issue they will not talk to me about it, and unfortunately this could lead them to look for other reasons to get rid of me.  However, so far, I've been pretty good about not giving them any.

 

HR is pretty much unresponsive to questions about any issue, including mistakes in their schedule and shorted paychecks.

 

But hey, I use the women's room. Even have had stall to stall conversations and at the sink mirrors.  Have fallen in pretty well with cliques of women of comparable age and attractiveness.  What a funny thing that is.

I blend in ok but it's forcing me to constantly hone my edges. Like how I lift and do work, and speaking over machinery in fast paced physical situations. Also I keep foundation and a little eye concealer and liner going.  Not doing that one day was my worst day treated by others there. 

 

I never got to go to a normal high school and I suspect this is kind of like that, for grown ups.

 

Guys are sizing me up I think.

I'm a little imposing and not super confident in my femininity.

Some chat me up a little. 

 

There are going to be cuts in personel soon and if I'm cut I may never know why, because they can't say out loud where they don't want me to pee.  However I prefer to focus on the fact that I have had perfect attendance/clock, no write ups, and I can outwork most people there without breathing too hard. 

 

I want to stay. 

I want to become a person.

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@Maddee there is always a point to be made even if it is not self evident at first!  

 

Remember that HR's purpose is not to protect you the employee, but the company.  (I worked in a corporate environment for ever) That said some HR people are less adept than they should be.  

 

Sometimes when reduction in force (RIF) take place its a strictly numbers thing, last in first out.  Thats how it was for my company.  I lost some great employees and was stuck with duds because of this.  Sometimes other parameters come into effect, depending upon rules set up by the State Employment Office and internal policies.  

 

Keep going as you are.  Being a good employee will not be forgotten.  As to being a person, you are.  People see you as real when they interact with you.  Take those little successes and build on them.  

 

PS: I'm glad to see you back to posting!
Hugs, Jani

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Carolyn Marie

I agree with @Jani.  You are the ambassador for our community among your peers there, Maddee.  For most, if not all of them, you are the first trans woman they've ever met.  Your success, your presence, helps not only you but all of us.  If they come to accept you (and it sounds like many have already) that is a victory.  Thank you for being strong, for being willing to be seen as your true self, for transition on the job.  You've already made a difference.  Congrats!

 

Not everyone in my workplace was supportive, but the fact that most of my colleagues were supportive kept those naysayers and nincompoops at bay.  Like your workplace, we had strong rules in place, and the naysayers knew it.  I hope it works out for you in the long run.  Best of luck, and thank you!

 

Carolyn Marie

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@Maddee Your post has been on my mind all day as I'm on the cusp of coming out at work. I'm happy to learn that you have enjoyed an overall positive experience on the job, especially socially with your colleagues. I'm hopeful that your excellent service at your employer will play to your favor in the upcoming personnel cuts - so I agree with @Jani, don't underestimate how much that's valued by supervisors and directors. I also really like what @Carolyn Marie said about being an ambassador of the community at the workplace. I think I read on another post somewhere here recently that only a small percentage of people (around 15-16%) self-report that they've met an out trans person in their life? Because of your example, you've done much to advance the cause of transgender acceptance at work beyond just official policy documents but in real life. I'm sure you've also challenged people's prejudices about the community just by being you and living your life the way you want to.

 

This got me thinking also I will likely be the first trans person many of my colleagues and clients will ever meet too. It feels like a great honor and responsibility at the same time. I hope to be a great ambassador to the community just as you have been, and do my part to help reduce transphobia not just in the workplace but in the wider world.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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5 hours ago, Audrey said:

don't underestimate how much that's valued by supervisors and directors.

Now that you mention this... I had only been at the company (defense related) for a few years that I ended up retiring from.  Back then I was an hourly employee.  We had a huge RIF and my name came up on the list.  Apparently several supervisors that I supported (not mine) and a general foreman spoke up.  I was retained.  Great for me.  I only found they had gone to bat for me second hand several months later.  Never underestimate that what you do, even the smallest thing, won't imprint and cause someone to have a positive opinion of you.  PS: After I finished night school I was able to move into management where I became rich and famous (NOT!) Blah, Blah, blah.  

 

On another instance, I lost a great employee in a RIF.  When I got a call about a reference from another small local business I could not say enough about this person.  They hired hm and two years later I hired them back even though he was gun-shy having been caught in a RIF.  I ended up having to pay him top dollar and it was worth it.  

 

Never give up or sacrifice your standards.

 

 

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Thank you everyone.

 

I'm one of the newer people there, although most are new since it opened in July.

It upsets me to think about it that way.  I actually applied to this place last summer and might've been one the first employees when it opened, if not for snags I had dealing with applying online then.  One of my shortcomings but I'm getting better.

 

Grateful for what I have.  Glad that I'm healthy and able to work.  Doing so as female is such a blessing and. I can only get better at it.

 

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  • Forum Moderator

@Maddee Glad to read you are staying healthy and doing well, nice update here. 

 

Hugs

 

C

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@Maddee I applaud (and have to admit, envy) your ability to be your true self at work.  Just thinking about that possibility is encouraging to me (and as others have said, is an encouragement to those like us and an opportunity to engage others with your best self).


You sound like an awesome employee to me.  I hope things go well for you there, but if your company and management don't see what a value you are to their workplace then they probably don't deserve to have you there.


Wishing you all the best❣️

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