Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I'm going to be a Maid of Honor!


ThankOurTroops

Recommended Posts

A friend of mine asked me a while ago if I would want to be his Best Man. I of course said yes. Months later I pointed out how that wouldn't work since I had started my transition.

 

He and his fiancee said I could be their Maid of Honor instead and I've been helping her make plans. We've already figured out the theme, colors, venue, time of year and the Bridesmaid outfit!

 

I'm less than a few months in and I'm already living the life I feel that I was meant to! I also had my ears pierced recently and have been building up a jewelry collection.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, ThankOurTroops said:

He and his fiancee said I could be their Maid of Honor

I am completely jealous...in a good way! This would be such an honor. As  @VickySGV says validation and I’ll add affirmation and acceptance of the new and improved you! Have fun with it!

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations!

 

Though "Best Man" can be more flexible than tradition dictates. I have a friend who co-opted a lesbian radical feminist named "Pax Athena" to be his best man when his original best man called off because he was in jail in another state.

 

May your dress be adorable!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@ThankOurTroops What a heart-warming story to read this morning! I'm so happy for you. It sounds like you have a truly amazing friend who accepts you completely. I can't imagine a more affirming experience than this. Can't wait to see the bridesmaid dress!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
11 hours ago, ThankOurTroops said:

He and his fiancee said I could be their Maid of Honor instead and I've been helping her make plans.

Very cool.    

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That's pretty! I'm guessing spring, maybe summer wedding?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

There is indeed a way: PM a mod, admin, etc... and tell them what you want done to your post. We live to serve.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

If I ever get married again, any guys on my side of the wedding part will either be called Bride's men, Squire of Honor, or replace either with Bride's person or person of honor.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Oh, this is so cool! And I am so envious. Dresses, dresses, dresses! Oh, however will you choose! Whatever the bride decides, I guess!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, the prime function of a bridesmaid dress is to make the bride look radiant. My wife and I joke that the ideal bridesmaid dress would just be black and white in a Guernsey cow pattern. Horns optional.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 45 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Colleen Henderson
    • Abigail Eleanor
    • Emily Ayla
    • Trans22
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      77.5k
    • Total Posts
      729.1k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      10,211
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Alba
    Newest Member
    Alba
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Atshorlus
      Atshorlus
      (34 years old)
    2. BexShields
      BexShields
      (55 years old)
    3. Janae
      Janae
      (64 years old)
    4. JustineM
      JustineM
      (40 years old)
    5. Lunar_Loris
      Lunar_Loris
      (31 years old)
  • Posts

    • Trans22
      Note that my life story (including transition story) is now a foundation of my therapy/healing.
    • Trans22
      She came to the conclusion near the end of our 6th "leadership coaching" session together, with 4 of those sessions being focused on my life/existence.  I tend toward over-sharing, so she got bombarded with my pain in between my emotional breakdowns.  She managed to extract memories that I'd locked deep inside myself for many years.  I'm not sure I could explain everything in less than 100 A4 pages.  I starting compiling my life story (up to 2021) in an attempt to disprove her - I think it current stands at around 900 pages (12pt font, single line spacing) broken up into multiple eras and themes based documents.  It'd be a lot longer if I didn't re-edit it almost every day.
    • Trans22
      I was about 40yo when I last went for a hearing test - was told that one of my graphs (right ear?) was about average for an 80yo.
    • Red_Lauren.
      Its both postive and negative.    A positive is I can be my self for the first time in my life. I have made some great friends because of my transition. My old friends are also wanting me around more. As im a lot happier. I can also explore my sexual needs more freely with out the male stigma attached.   The negatives are worst, but I can deal with it. Living in a small town. There is a stigma of being trans, and trying to find a partner.    I'm not sure of this is a negative or a positive, but since I pass, and am of child bearing years. I get a lot of stigma from older ladies about not having a child or being married. My friends are also between 33-45. So I've learned way more about periods then I ever would have imagined from them. I've also gotten to know more about menopause then I ever imagined. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.jurist.org/news/2022/12/minneapolis-issues-order-legalizing-gender-affirming-healthcare-for-transgender-community/   There are still some progressives at-large in the "heartland," it seems.  We'll see what kind of backlash results.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      As a former (reserve) police officer, I can think of a couple of reasons why someone would want to shoot up a power station: a) because young people with guns and too much time on their hands (or liquor in their stomachs) might think it was fun; and b) to knock out the power so as to break in and steal copper wire, which is very valuable.  I took several such reports of wire theft back in the day.   As to the religious retribution-as-cause nonsense, I doubt it.   Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
      This dates back to the 1950's and before and has since been taken apart as a significant issue in either GD or being LGB or other letters.   Thus why you do not hear about it much.  It figured into the tragedies of "Nature Vs Nurture" where Dr. John Money advocated for correction of the ambiguous genitalia of Inter Sex children.  The idea was that gender came from how you were brought up, not how you were disposed at birth.  There are several horror stories about it available.  Research that began after Dr. Harry Benjamin  M.D. published his book The Transsexual Phenomena in 1966 has discredited that line of belief by therapists, but unfortunately it is comfortable for the therapist and all too many lay members of society.  The health care community has found that there are many genetic and epigenetic factors that go into all parts of physical development and in another topic here on  the Forums, intersex conditions do come up frequently in the Trans matrix, not to mention even brain variations between Cis (non Trans) and Trans people.  I will agree with the therapist on one thing and that is to adventure into your gender and try it on and see how it fits.  I did it that way and Cross Dresser did not fit but full time Transition did. There are many ways to do that that we talk about here.  Several places in here are recommendations for books including some by actual Trans people that will help you get moving. YOU are the only one who can decide if you have Gender Dysphoria however and good up-to-date therapists will tell you that.
    • stveee
      I was going to reply with that parable myself. I think it is important not only about perception, but it seems like non-judgment, even if it appears "neutral", is essentially optimistic because it is the assurance of knowing we don't know and places us in a position of not being in confrontation with any and all events- that everything is necessary.
    • stveee
      IDK what kind of passive Freudian technique your therapist is using, but I believe some throw at you oppositional ideas. In the end, it doesn't matter what your therapist thinks. What matters is what you think and believe and, if getting "pushback" reinforces what you already suspected, the technique served it's purpose.   The other point is, many therapists are just not studied up enough on the topic. As an average human being, being trans has to the be last desirable option on the list. They may not get the full picture that many of us at one time or another actually wished it was just garden variety psychological problems with parent archetypes which resulted in a personality disorder or identity crisis. This line of thinking is dangerous for a clinician because it nearly resembles a type of conversion therapy, that transness is a problem to be solved away. Then comes the imagined realizations of trauma that may not have actually occurred, because of the subjective and morphing nature of memory itself.    Also, dysphoria is not a prerequisite to being trans, and only reinforces the perceived pathology of it in a pop culture context. One can identify with whatever gender for whatever reason, except perhaps in order for some medical procedures, a medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria is a prerequisite. But even then, dysphoria could be very simply feeling any discomfort at all with our AGAB. 
    • VickySGV
      @awkward-yet-sweet I hope you are right on this, but patches and replacement of the oil go pretty fast.  The things that will take the time are control panels for the switching apparatus involved.  I live a couple of blocks from such a switching facility and friends of mine have been the people who maintain them and I am snoopy as all get out on that stuff.  I have seen into the guts of  onsite control panels and what is in them and having to put one back together is a nightmare.  I do hope you are right.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Who knows?  Like you, I didn't get much love from my father.  I was a disappointment, and both my parents were very open about that.  As a teenager, my mother was so open with her dislike of me that she told me I'd probably never get married, and that she didn't have to worry about me having pre-marital sex because she "knew" that no man would waste his attentions on my worthless, slender, boy-like body.  🙄   In the end, I just didn't have the personality my parents wanted, the appearance they wanted, or the abilities they wanted.    I don't think that parental treatment (good or bad) can change your gender.  I don't believe my parents' rejection changed me from a girl into a boy.  Maybe rejection and mistreatment can delay your realization of who you are or the body you were supposed to have but weren't born with.  At the end of the day, how much does it matter?  I think what we do with our present matters a lot more than what happened in the past.  Walking your walk in public could be scary, but could be liberating.  What do YOU want to do?
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm an artist not an engineer), but from what I understand, a few well-placed bullets could do that.  Make a hole in each transformer.  The things are cooled by gallons of mineral oil inside.... Once that oil leaks out, it overheats and no longer works.  The reporter said there was a smell of oil, which makes sense if that was the method.  Unless I'm wrong, I don't think this would take a great deal of technical knowledge....
    • Zelaire
      Hi, all! I’ve been working for the past several months with a therapist who has experience with transgender clients. Over the course of our conversations, we’ve talked a lot about my childhood experiences with my parents, and she’s had a lot to say about the lack of loving acceptance I experienced from my father, in particular, as a child. I should add, too, that we’ve talked about more than my gender questioning; I’ve been struggling with anxiety, burnout, and a good ol’ existential crisis. So figuring out things like the origins of my tendency to people-please and my deep-seated self-doubt have been a big part of the process. In some recent sessions, we circled back around to re-focus on my gender identity. She has developed a theory that rather than being transgender, I may be struggling with a childhood in which I was not validated as a male. That took some time to figure out. From what I can understand, her implication is that somehow I may have failed in masculinity by my father’s standards, and as such somehow began questioning my masculinity.  She also theorized it may be neither identity nor validation, but perhaps it’s just that I’m gay. If I felt a clear attraction to men, I might find this easier to entertain, but I haven’t. So, I asked her why she had constructed her theory. Her answer was quick and direct: “Dysphoria. You don’t have it.” Well… That’s flat-out wrong. Over the course of that and the following session, I explained my experiences of social and existential dysphoria, about gender envy and euphoria, and about physical attributes I’ve always disliked but until I began questioning hadn’t realized may be gender related. It occurred to me that I (being a consummate people-pleaser) even in therapy may have been masking my discomfort and pain. (I think I’ll have to make a concentrated effort to be as open as possible—even when I think I AM being open.) But with that said, she repeated a frequent note that, in order to really figure out my identity, I’ll have to “walk the walk,” and explore my gender expression in public. I told her this makes total logical sense to me. And also scares the CRAP out of me. (Talk about an anxiety trigger!) So maybe she’ll have some thoughts for me of smaller baby steps. In the meantime though (and sorry for the long-winded post) I’m curious: This is the first time I’ve read or heard of a theory quite like this my therapist’s about childhood invalidation, or not being validated as a male, being the source of gender questioning. Has anyone else here ever heard something similar before? What are your thoughts on the idea?
    • Zelaire
      Welcome aboard, @JennieDraegon 😊
    • Kasumi63
      I ended up having surgery, but I would still be interested in practicing on Zoom, if we can get this going. There's a Discord group on here, but I've never had the chance to talk with people there. Maybe we can line up something on the Discord group?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...