Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

AAAAAHHHHHHH!


JustineM

Recommended Posts

Ok now that I got that out of my system. The letter to my Mom went out today, she should get it in the next 2-3 days. I really don’t know how that one is going to go. Plan on talking to my Dad tomorrow evening. I don’t know if I will get much of a reaction out of him. But he is also older so I don’t know that he will ever call me anything but “son.”  I’m going to have to tell my brother this weekend as well. I would rather have him hear it from me than Mom, especially if she doesn’t take it well. 
 

Thank the Goddess I’m already on acid blockers or I would probably end up with ulcers later tonight, since I am it probably won’t happen until Monday lol.   I’ll keep this thread updated with how it goes. 

Link to comment

Dear Justine, I'm wishing you the best in coming out to your family this weekend. We'll be here to support you and eager to hear how everything goes.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment

Well I’m sitting here trying not to ugly cry. The calls to my Dad and brother went amazingly well. My brother said it didn’t bother him and he was glad I was taking steps to be happy. Dad almost immediately offered to help cover therapy and HRT med costs. Said he loved me and that would never change. He did say that he wouldn’t stop calling me his son, though given his age and the way he was raised I didn’t really expect him too. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That's great news @JustineM! I'm so happy your father and brother are supportive! I'd probably take Dad up on the offer to help out financially too. Anything he wants to put in, you can put towards saving up for the big ticket items.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@JustineM I'm so happy to read that coming out to your father and brother were such positive experiences! You must feel wonderful after that, and it's great to hear about your father's generosity to support your journey too. I'm hopeful that your mother will receive her letter soon, and that she will also accept you.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Sounds like it went much better than you expected.  Congratulations.

Link to comment

I really thought that I would bouncing ecstatic today but I’m really not. I’m happy but the more overwhelming feeling has really been just a profound peace. More peace than I’ve felt for a long time. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, JustineM said:

feeling has really been just a profound peace.

Its a relief.  Then life goes on.  This is really how it should be.  I'm happy for you. 

 

Jani

Link to comment

Just a quickie update. Still waiting to hear from Mom, though given the weekend and holiday plus USPS current difficulties, she may not have even got the letter yet. One of my older sisters called me this morning and was asking about books she could read to help her understand better. So all in all not going to bad. 

Link to comment

I'm so happy for you Justine. I wish everyone could find that kind of peace in their lives. It's nice your sister is asking for resources to learn from. My family has decided to entrust their lives to google.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

What a great read this morning @JustineM.

 

I'm happy to hear that you family is supporting you, and continue to pray that your mother will also be on board with you.

 

Peace is soothing, who knows, you may be dropping the daily antacids as life comes in line with your feelings.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment

Wonderful news about your family, Justine! I'm hopeful your mother will be just as supportive and loving when she receives her letter. The idea about books and resources to suggest to others has been on my mind as well, I may need some of them soon before the internet takes over that role for coworkers and family. Does anyone have any ideas? I'll check other threads here too.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
16 hours ago, JustineM said:

One of my older sisters called me this morning and was asking about books she could read to help her understand better. So all in all not going to bad.

Wow, Justine. Looks very much like after some research and a few good conversations with her, you may have a trusted ally in your corner. Hopefully, you will find ‘easy to digest’ materials or videos for her to peruse. Someone who loves you enough to learn about what you’re going through is saying so much about your sister. Your relationship will change but sometimes change is required to get to that next level. I am so happy for you. Everyone needs a close ally during a journey like this. Maybe your sister will be yours!

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Peace is soothing, who knows, you may be dropping the daily antacids as life comes in line with your feelings

I hope I can, I’ve been on some kind of stomach meds for darn near 20 years. 

 

13 hours ago, Audrey said:

Wonderful news about your family, Justine! I'm hopeful your mother will be just as supportive and loving when she receives her letter. The idea about books and resources to suggest to others has been on my mind as well, I may need some of them soon before the internet takes over that role for coworkers and family. Does anyone have any ideas? I'll check other threads here too.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

I suggested 2 that I found on Amazon to her, Transgender 101 by Nicholas Teich and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Trans by Brynn Tannehill. 

Link to comment
On 1/17/2021 at 7:15 AM, JustineM said:

the more overwhelming feeling has really been just a profound peace. More peace than I’ve felt for a long time. 

That's so great to hear, Justine.  That's what we all want.
Happy its been going so well, and hoping the news is the same when you hear from your Mom ?❤️

Link to comment

Well the whirlwind week continues. Emailed my regional HR manager about talking to my boss. I had talked to her last year and she wanted me to let her know before saying anything so she was ready with any guidance needed.  Also got a call from my Dad, he asked if it was alright to still call me son and then kinda chewed on me for thinking he would love me any less for being trans. 
 

I’ve got to say, seeing some others stories and what they have, or are, going through makes me realize just how lucky I’ve been in this journey so far. 

Link to comment

That was....... interesting. Mom finally text me this morning and told me she got my letter, wanted me to call her this evening. Finally got off work and called her about 8. Really got mostly a lack of any real reaction. She asked a couple questions and kinda tried to guilt-trip me over my wife and boys possibly leaving. (No they aren’t) And that was it.  I’m grateful that she didn’t blow up at me or anything but I really expected some kind of response.  It’s kinda got me a little concerned.

Link to comment

@JustineM I'm relieved to hear that your mother didn't have a strong and immediate negative reaction either, after she received your letter. It's an encouraging sign that she asked you a few questions. Maybe she will just need time to process what she's read, and after she has, she might be ready to have more of a conversation with you. I do understand the concern about what her subdued response might mean. On the positive side though, it's wonderful to know that your wife and children are beside you, as well as your father, brother, and sister!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment

It is good to hear that there was no immediate bad reactions. Kind of give me a positive insight to when ever I come out.

Link to comment

On a side note. Sitting here thinking I cannot wait to get on HRT and have my own breasts, not have to worry about breast forms. Lol

Link to comment

Wow this year is just taking off like a rocket. I’m officially out to my boss and supervisors as of this morning. The conversation with my boss was a hot two minutes lol. Told I’m trans and that I’m pursuing starting a medical transition and his reply was alright let me know if you need something. And that was it. 
 

It’s kinda weird, last year I was SO careful and methodical about who I told and how. This year it just like “f it” I am going to get it out there and be freaking happy!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, JustineM said:

It’s kinda weird, last year I was SO careful and methodical about who I told and how. This year it just like “f it” I am going to get it out there and be freaking happy!

@JustineM In my experience this is a totally normal reaction.

 

There was point early in my transition that I was using a local Church parking lot to remove my guy clothing, sunglasses, shoes, etc..that covered my female clothing underneath to attend doctor’s appts, support groups meetings, shopping, etc... Then I had to do the reverse to get back into my home that same day.

 

After 3 weeks of this madness, my wife and I said almost the same thing you did. That next week, we came out to everyone in my neighborhood and it made life so much easier. It just got to be too much work...especially after wanting to be myself in the real world more and more.

 

I think a lot of trans individuals develop that attitude realizing that it’s time to make some major changes just as you did. Congratulations on this next big step in your transition!!

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 213 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • MaybeRob
    • Betty K
    • Mirrabooka
    • Heather Shay
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,015
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      When do you know you've had enough surgery?
    • Heather Shay
      Another week completed with more inregration.
    • Heather Shay
      Relief (emotion) Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Relief_(emotion)         Relief is a positive emotion experienced when something unpleasant, painful or distressing has not happened or has come to an end.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Loving this woman I am becoming.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! I was up early again - already on my third cup of coffee having walked/fed the dog and read the local paper.   We have a birthday party for a friend to go to this afternoon but no real plans otherwise.   I hope to be able to attend tonight's TGP Zoom session. It's been weeks since I've been able to participate with the illness/loss of our dog, two horrible colds in succession and our trip to chase the solar eclipse.   Have a wonderful day and look for the goodness in it.
    • April Marie
      I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style......   I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it.   Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-)
    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...