Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hi im questioning and I would love to hear some opinions from people.


I-think-im-a-girl1808

Recommended Posts

Hi im a born male and im wondering if maybe im a Girl instead. I never really cared that i have a male body, i dont really know how to discribe it, but i didn't really interest me. But for the past 2 year every time i look at a girl i feel jealous. I have this longing for what they have. The clothes, the Hair, the body, the make-up, being A girl in general. A few weeks ago i let my younger sister paint my nails and it felt so right. It felt like there was this void and it was getting filled. For the first time in my life i felt gorgous.  I dont really know what to do right now. I came out to my parents that in questioning my gender and they told me that i really need to be sure, they seem passive about it. I have Trouble expressing my feelings on the topic with my parents. I could use some insider opinions. And maybe Just chat a little and stuff. I know that was a lot of text. I was just pouring my heart out. 

Link to comment

Hi, and hugs!

We're in a very similar situation to you -- we've been feeling like wanting to be a woman for a long time; it's just slightly more complicated for us because we have a strong female alternate personality that has been with us for as long as we can remember.  One thing to recommend -- find a good gender therapist and start going to sessions.  Your parents are right, you need to be sure about who you are and what you want before you do anything irreversible, and a gender therapist can help you figure that out for yourself.  If you feel like you want to see what you can do on your own, we've had 'My (new) Gender Workbook' by Kate Bornstein recommended to us.  We're working through it, and talking to a therapist, and both seem like they're helping.

 

Welcome to the site, we hope that you find it useful and make new friends here!

 

RachelSB

 

Link to comment

Hello! Thanks for pouring your heart out. Questioning your gender can be a scary thing to get to grips with, but the fact that you have already told your parents is a great start, it takes a lot of soul searching and a lot of honesty to find out where you fit. As Rachel has suggested the first thing anyone here would recommend is seeking counselling or therapy from a professional qualified with LGBT+ issues who will let you voice your questions and concerns without judgement or hostility. I would also suggest taking some time to read through the threads here as there may be some topics that jump out at you, if you don't see something just ask, there is a LOT of knowledge floating around here! :) 

Link to comment

Hi! I think it's really great you have the ability to talk to your parents about it and are open to figuring it all out.  It sounds like your younger (I'm 54 so most people are to me). The nice thing is you have lots of time to explore this.  Yes-gender/LBGT+ therapist is so important.  Not only for being able to express your thoughts but they can help you discover some deeper thoughts/feelings by challenging you to explore certain things you may not have been conscious of or burying.  

Some things people do early are trying on clothes in a safe space, learning makeup or doing your nails like you did.  See how it feels. Explore those feelings.  The therapist can help you explore the "why" did it make you feel a certain way which can help give you some clarity.  

Bounce around the forums, ask questions. Everyone here is super supportive.

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Salutations!

 

Yes, absolutely be sure about what you need. That's a good instinct. Transitioning is all about figuring out what you need to do to feel comfortable in your own body. Maybe that's presenting as a woman on weekends. Maybe it's full transition with all the surgeries. Maybe it's any number of steps between. The important thing is your comfort.

 

Now, as other people have said, a gender therapist will be able to help you figure out what's right for you. If you want to do anything besides dress, WPATH standards say you need a doctor's note from one anyway, so you may as well start a relationship sooner rather than later. We can give you advice and support, but the heavy lifting is going to be you and a professional.

 

So yeah, welcome to Transgenderpulse! We're glad you're here. Please feel free to join the discussion and ask whatever questions come to mind!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Welcome, @I-think-im-a-girl1808, it's nice to meet you and I'm happy you've joined the community here at Trans Pulse. As the others have already said, this is an amazingly supportive community and you'll be in wonderful company here while you are at this stage in your journey. I also agree with everyone that connecting with a gender therapist is a great thing to do. That person can help you process your thoughts and feelings around your identity and expression and be an essential ally if you do take steps to transition medically or legally. I also wanted to share that I relate very much to those feelings of envy, and the elation when I took steps to express my femininity. I look forward to getting to know you better!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment

Welcome @I-think-im-a-girl1808

I worked through Kate Bornstein's  'My (new) Gender Workbook' when I was trying to figure myself out.  She has an unusual approach.  It was interesting, and kinda fun with the pirates and all.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Well, It does initiate some permanent changes.  So…

For me it was an "are you really serious about this?" moment.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
10 hours ago, Shawnster said:

I'm on the threshold of HRT... and I'm having some doubts..... is this normal????

 

Yes.

 

However, as my endo kept saying, the changes are completely reversible. You can afford to dip your toe in for a bit before you commit.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Jandi said:

Well, It does initiate some permanent changes.

 

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

However, as my endo kept saying, the changes are completely reversible.

 

These appear to be opposite opinions.  Which is more true?  I assume both are true to an extent.  Elsewhere I've read that the changes are permanent.

Link to comment

Hi @LaurenA, not conflicting - time is a major factor in the permanence so a month or 2 won't make much difference but stopping after 6 years would.

Fat distribution and body hair growth will revert somewhat but the other changes may never go back fully, so you could find yourself infertile with pronounced moobs if you stop after your body has redistributed things.

Always research the effects and possible side effects before agreeing to take any medication and know why you want to go on it.

Perhaps watch detransition videos to make sure you understand that transitioning does not solve other underlying mental health issues and watch transition/hrt timelines while understanding makeup and filters can do a lot of magic.

 

Personally I have already had a vasectomy and children so fertility is not a big deal, I have had zero sex life for the better part of 15 yrs and so the package shrinkage is not a big deal for me personally - it is only by realising how protective cis men are of theirs (discussing GRS with a friend that asked how it was done) that I realised how little I cared about mine lol, and given how I have mistreated my body with food due to not caring about it my moobs are already more pronounced.

 

I am trading slightly decreased prostate cancer risks for slightly increased breast cancer risks but the benefits are that I hate my body hair, I already feel like I am emotionally stunted and want to be more connected and expressive with myself which is one of the big unquantifiable things I have read about and hope to experience, the "rightness" of finally having the correct hormones. My dad gut will become a mum tum.

I am also at a stage where HRT is not central to my need or intention to transition but will absolutely help me fit in better and improve my quality of life with how I intend to live anyway.

Not everyone who transitions can go on HRT or wants or needs the surgery due to other conditions or personal reasons. So know why you do for either. Hope this helps, it was a bit longer than I intended :) 

Link to comment
8 hours ago, DeeDee said:

Hi @LaurenA, not conflicting - time is a major factor in the permanence so a month or 2 won't make much difference but stopping after 6 years would.

 

17 hours ago, Jandi said:

Well, It does initiate some permanent changes.

The operative word her is initiates.  It can take quite awhile, there are a lot of factors - age, your genetics, etc.

As much as we might want it to go quicker, that's not how it works for most of us.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@I-think-im-a-girl1808 Glad you are here and you will find many who are like you and experience similar thoughts and questions. You will find helpful advice and things to think about and add questions anytime one occurs to you and you will find hope and joy as you continue you unique journey. 

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
On 2/28/2021 at 4:16 AM, Jackie C. said:

 

Yes.

 

However, as my endo kept saying, the changes are completely reversible. You can afford to dip your toe in for a bit before you commit.

 

Hugs!

I've been on hrt for a little over a month now.... My nipples are tender, but not much else...... Any input?

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That's about right. It takes a while for the process to get going and your endo may need to tweak your dose more than once. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Sore nipples were the first signs for me.  I also realized that those feelings were the beginning of a road that would soon become  a one lane single highway.  Perhaps this is something we all face and it one of the reasons we are so vocal about therapy.  I don't know when that tipping point is before the changes are permanent.  That is between you and your doctor.  I do know that it was best for me to have as much certainty as i could before i even started.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
On 5/14/2021 at 8:34 PM, Shawnster said:

I've been on hrt for a little over a month now.... My nipples are tender, but not much else...... Any input?

 

Details do vary among individuals, of course. In month 1, my nipples became distended for a few days, then retracted to a more normal position. After the first few months, I learned to stay a lot calmer regarding whatever new developments occurred, and not bother my doctor about them (saving discussions for my visits to the clinic)...that helped my sanity ?.

 

Also, early on I experienced emotions much more readily than I ever had when T dominated my hormones.

 

This is very much like watching a tree grow -- it's a years-long process, with you (and I) looking in the mirror every day and not seeing much change.  Meanwhile, others who haven't seen us in quite a while will notice changes right away.  At about 1 year, I found that I was developing a waist -- part of the redistribution of body mass downward to the thighs and butt.  That, for me, gives me visual confirmation and confidence in my body shape, and is just as nice as the modest bust I'm developing.   My wife commented that my butt looked bigger -- which was a smile inducing event!

 

Enjoy your changes as they come.  They'll be coming!

 

Astrid

 

 

 

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 121 Guests (See full list)

    • Avra
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • VickySGV
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Ivy
    • Elisheva
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,012
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. 777fleetleader777
      777fleetleader777
      (21 years old)
    2. ArinHallm3
      ArinHallm3
      (18 years old)
    3. ITakMyTime
      ITakMyTime
      (70 years old)
    4. Jess31
      Jess31
      (40 years old)
    5. Natalie71645
      Natalie71645
      (39 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Think positively, Ashley.  I have no doubt you'll find your king or queen at some point.   Hugs,   Sally
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob had the night off from teaching kara-tay and they planned to spend a lot of it at Cabaret.   Once in, Taylor waited for her man to park and looked around.  There was a sign "Mary, Paul and Peter LIVE tonight" and, sure enough, three microphones were standing in the open area.  A new hostess came up to her. "Are you alone?" "Oh, no.  He's coming." Taylor was led to a table. Bob was there in a minute and managed to get in there and seat her.  She smiled. "The act will be along in a few minutes. And Congratulations! I am SO EXCITED!!" Taylor responded to his look. "I got promoted." "To what?" "Head of Marketing." "You're kidding." "Nope.  It seems the Board finally woke up to the fact that the China cash cow may come to an end and they need to do something. Did you know that the VPs on up all get over a million dollars in compensation without really doing anything?" "No." "I am supposed to figure out how to re-energize over thirty acres of factory that have laid idle for forty years or more." "Why don't they do it?" She whispered,"the head of production is the son of the previous head of production. He has never produced anything."  She explained that everything was made in China and exported back to the US and sold under different brand names. "How am I going to find someone?" He smiled. "Congratulations. Sounds like a problem.  Hey, today we were talking about problems at our Philly plant.  One, it was built before World War 2. Second the city and state are tightening regulations and the tax structure is adverse.  Third, we get protestors every day, some of whom break into the factory.  People are talking about relocating." "We are forty miles from an interstate." "That is a plus.  Makes it harder for protestors to find us if we moved here." "You are really thinking that?" "I am, right now. I can't speak for the company.  I know there is a rail line." "Spur, actually, with several sidings.  The buildings are in good shape." "Do you have about five acres we could look at? How about if I take some pictures and send them off?" "Great.  And protestors would not be tolerated in Millville.  The factory area once upon a time was the main employer and people are very protective." Two weeks later she was in Philadelphia with Gibson and a few others.  The deal was signed and by end of summer ten acres, with an option on another ten, were being upgraded and equipment was coming in by rail. Not five, but ten.  She got a $20,000 bonus out of the blue.  The company was flush with Chinese cash that they didn't know what to do with. She was developing plans. But back to dinner.  "Did I tell you what they are paying me?" "No." She told him. "That is more than I am making." "You don't sound happy." "It takes some getting used to.  You are Management and Croesus combined." "Yeah. Is this a problem?" "No.  As I said, it takes some getting used to."  The musicians arrived and were introduced: three local teenagers in Peter Paul and Mary clothing and wigs like it was the 60s.  They began singing. "They are good," she said. "They are lip-synching." "They are good at lip-synching." They listened for a while. "Work is going to be intense for a while." "I'll bet." "I won't be able to talk to you about some of it." "I bet." They had a good evening.   The high point for Bob was that she let him put his hand on hers.  The high point for her was Bob did not seem threatened by her now being Management and making more than he did with a Masters. She didn't tell him she was likely to be in on the distribution of money the Chinese sent every year to keep them fat and happy.  But she had to finish up that report, so the evening ended early.  He drove her home, checked her apartment for people and again walked away hearing her lock the door three times.  She didn't say it, but he knew she was going to have a long talk with her therapist as well.   Her therapist was a night owl.  
    • Ashley0616
      envy: painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage obsolete : MALICE : an object of envious notice or feeling
    • MaeBe
      I sit back and think, am I this person? I definitely argue, but with the willingness to alter my opinion if I find that my information is lacking. So, no? I also don't go pointing fingers in faces like a crazed person, usually I am the one to argue with that kind of person; typically because they can't see past emotion and have little concern for actual facts. Sometimes it's sport that I do this (ENTP, baby!), but usually it comes from a place of trying to inform and shift opinion--or at least get them to actually obtain facts or get their facts from objective sources.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • MaeBe
      How exciting! Have a glorious evening!
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I will be meeting her wife tonight
    • Betty K
      Thank you Vidanjali that is so great to hear. I'm glad the joy comes across even though the subjects are dark, and especially that my voice is pretty! This was really a breakthrough for me, and I revelled in the entire process. Never had creating music been so effortless from start to finish.
    • Charlize
      The thoughts and suggestions above are certainly excellent!  I might also suggest that you continue to reach out to the trans community where your feelings are understood through experience.  I have found that helpful.  The is especially true when i try to help another in distress, not to look for a fellow sufferer but to help another find a path to self acceptance and peace.  Funny how helping another can pull me out of my own funk. We are here to help as we can.  Remember you are not alone in your feelings.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Vidanjali
      This is great, Betty. Your voice is so pretty and soothing. I listened to both tracks on your channel. The messages are clear and there is a very effective tone for the content you are portraying as it neither sounds antagonistic nor overtly facetious, but rather empowered and joyful. 
    • Vidanjali
      @FinnyFinsterHH I am sorry to hear you're struggling so much. I'll start by saying I understand how this feels because I too have had episodes where I've gotten very upset about my chest to the point of panic or depression. So, I will offer what advice I can, but understand I know it's not easily done, though there are ways through it. Gradually think about whether someone you know can help get you a binder. Until then, because you feel this way when you realize your chest is there, you can work on developing mental techniques to get your mind off dwelling on your chest. You'll realize your chest is there throughout the day, of course, because the chest is a prominent part of the body.   First, think about addressing the physical reaction. Drink a glass of water and take several deep breaths. This can help to calm your body.   I strongly recommend mindfulness and meditation practices. You can practice techniques throughout the day, wherever you are. For example, say you catch a glimpse of yourself in a reflective surface and begin to feel sick, seeing the chest. Take a moment and instead cast your glance on anything around you, preferably something in nature like looking up at the sky or at a tree. Describe the object you're viewing in neutral terms meaning describe the color, texture, shape, borders, patterns, etc.; but avoid personal or emotional description such as, "It makes me feel..." or "It reminds me of...". This will redirect your mind away from dwelling on your body shape and calm the nervous system. There are many more mindfulness practices you can find online.   You can also try using a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) journal app. In such an app will guide you to describe what upset you, the feelings, thoughts, and beliefs involved, analyzing and reframing them.    Finally, consider developing a regular meditation practice. This will strengthen your mind and gradually you will find yourself less prone to feeling consumed by upsetting events.    I should also mention, if you are artistic, consider channeling your experience into artistic expression. This has worked for me before - I've created a few art pieces addressing my experience of gender dysphoria. in such a way that felt empowering - like I owned it instead of it owning me.   None of these things is a quick fix. Nor should they be because what you're dealing with is a deep issue. But will sustained effort you can find your way to living with more peace and comfort.
    • VickySGV
      I am a little different in my angle of approach on this one, but my skepticism on the "Phishing Trips" the AG's are taking is that they have gone into these investigations with the idea that illegal actions are occurring regularly.  They are going in on the information of unharmed third parties who have imagined fantastic "theories and plots of harm".  What is going to happen when the institutions turn over information that has NONE of this fantasy outcome in it.  Proof of a negative is impossible under standard logic and even most Laws of Evidence.  Just because the records do not show it happened will not in their minds equate to harm not having happened, just that someone is lying to them or covering up something that they know from their personal fantasies.  The problem is that they have made a public face of wisdom and social courage against the fantastic, they have their "glorious Quest"" and like Don Quixote will be tearing up windmills looking to justify their private images.
    • Ivy
      This sounds really good.  Good luck with it.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...