New Girl Chloe

[Chloe Cozee]

Hello!

 

My name is Chloe and I just joined. I have always wanted to be a girl for as long as I can remember, but was afraid of those feelings. I grew up acting like a boy while hiding my feelings of sensitivity and wanting to be feminine. I tried on some female clothing in private a few times while enjoying the moment, I would go back to being a guy hoping no one would ever find out. Growing up, I never had anyone that I could trust to share my feelings or thoughts with. After being married and starting a family, I shared my feelings with my wife. She understood and seemed to like the idea. I bought a cheap wig and she gave me a makeover. We did this a few times, but with having kids we had a lack of privacy and it was all put on the back burner. Now the kids are grown and moved out. I started some serious introspection on my life. I finally realized that I am a woman inside. My male side was a toxic fake. I came back out to my wife. She is accepting of me with some reservations. I am completely honest with her and keep the communication open with much room for listening to her fears and concerns.  I dress at home and do not go out of the house. When I am dressed, I feel whole and congruent. I have ideas of living as a woman in the future, but taking baby steps right now. 

 

I looked at a few other forums and decided on this one. Some of the other forums were heavy on posts like 'what color is your underwear?' That is not what I am looking for. I want to read about real life issues, share some stories, have a laugh and maybe a cry. 

[Jani]

Hello Chloe and welcome.  I'm glad to hear you've looked around and decided to join us.  I hope you find the community you are looking for.  While you might find the occasional underwear question here it is not the main driver of our members posts.  We are more into helping each other out, support and providing the occasional direction.  That and talk about life in general. 

 

That's nice that your wife is understanding.  I know it was probably a surprise when you came back out after all the years.   Go slow and keep the lines of communication open!   I hope to see you around the forum.

 

Cheers, Jani

[Audrey]

Hi Chloe, it's nice to meet you and welcome to Trans Pulse. @Jani said pretty much exactly what I was going to about the community here. I might add that this is a warm and friendly place, and you'll find many people here who relate to and share your experience - for example, I too feel my male side was fake and really just for show. It's wonderful to hear that your wife is understanding, and I'm hopeful she'll continue to be supportive of you on your journey. Looking forward to getting to know you!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi @Chloe Cozee, nice to meet you.

[Vanessa Michelle]

Hey @Chloe Cozeeand welcome to the group!! I love the name Chloe so much!! Thanks for sharing your journey and story with us! I can definitely identify with some of it myself. This is a great group and of the others I joined, it is by far my favorite. It's so great to have you here! ❤️

[Vanessa Michelle]

Also, it's so nice to see a fellow Illinoisan!! ??❤️

[Ethereal]

Hello, welcome to the forum. I'm also new here

[Vanessa Michelle]

@EtherealSweet!! Welcome to you too! Please start an Introductions post for yourself as well and share your story if you are comfy. We are glad to have you here too and can't wait to get to know you!! ❤️

[Ethereal]

@Vanessa Michelle I will do that, thank you!

[Chloe Cozee]

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to read and responded to my intro. This has been such a wonderful journey for me. Finding my true self has brought a change of acceptance, happiness and joy for life that I have never felt before. For me living the masculine role was so competitive and toxic. I could never go back to that.  I now feel a spiritual connectedness to everything. I want to love and nurture everyone. My heart glows with femininity. I love to go for long walks and be with nature. I try to meditate everyday and think about what's next.

[Jackie C.]

Salutations @Chloe Cozee and welcome to Transgenderpulse!

 

You've made an excellent choice. We DO talk about underwear sometimes, but it's more along the lines of, "Bloody hell! Can somebody point me at a manufacturer who actually makes a day-to-day bra in my size?" You'll also notice that we have rules about explicit content. Nothing here you wouldn't be comfortable showing in a PG-13 movie.

 

I completely identify with most of your story too. Toxic male shell (oh my goddess he was an ass), dressed when I was younger, etc... I think most of us do to one extent or another.

 

I've already approved posts of yours here and there, so I can see you're settling in just fine. Again, welcome! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

[KayC]

Hi @Chloe Cozee!  nice to meet you and Welcome!
Your life experiences sound similar to mine, and you will find others here who also share much of the same.  So, you've found a great place to continue your journey.

14 hours ago, Chloe Cozee said:

I dress at home and do not go out of the house. When I am dressed, I feel whole and congruent. I have ideas of living as a woman in the future, but taking baby steps right now. 

Very similar for me, but I have a spouse that is less than "enthusiastic" about it.  So I understand your need to go slow.  There is no time limit or set deadline.  You can go at your own speed.
The best advice I received here on the Forum, and the best thing I have done for myself, is to start gender therapy.  If you haven't already, I hope you have an opportunity to do this.

 

Hope to hear more from you❣️  Deep breaths ... one step at a time

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Chloe,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?