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Hi! I'm a 22 year old trans guy from Brazil. My name is Thanassis, but you can call me by my username since it is easier to remember.

I'd been questioning my gender since puberty, but things got more complicated when I turned 20 and I finally came out around that time. It was very painful and confusing.

I'm still trying to come to terms with my gender and my sexuality. I identify as gay but I might really be slightly bisexual. It is difficult for me to deal with.

I am also somewhat androgynous, I want to look like the man I am, but I would not mind wearing makeup or feminine clothes sometimes.

Of course, I would love to have a beard and be able to wear a suit too.

I am heavily inspired by subculture fashion and artists who defied gender stereotypes, so it makes sense. But sometimes I feel out of it in the FtM community.

I haven't come out to everyone yet, but I will have to do that soon. I started HRT around October last year.


I'm into music and art in general, different cultures, technology, video games and other niche interests. Nice to meet you all.

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Vanessa Michelle

@EtherealWelcome to the group!! So glad you joined us! Sexuality and gender are not black and white and that's ok. We all identify in a way that best suits our internal sense of self. I'm glad to see you processing and exploring yours as well. Congrats on starting HRT! Thank you for sharing your story with us! I trust you will find this a welcoming and friendly place. ❤️

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Hi @Ethereal pleased to meet you. :) How you express yourself is up to you. There is no one set way of being a man, they are all different!

If you think about it every male actor on the planet wears makeup regularly and no one bats an eyelid...Brian Molko from Placebo has been androgynous for years deliberately.

As far as whether you are gay or slightly bi, perhaps your tastes are changing as the T does its work and you become more comfortable with who you are, or maybe you are just more comfortable accepting that you might be bi now. I think we simply like who we like - attraction is based on so many different factors. 

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Chloe Cozee

Hi Ethereal,


I am new here too. Nice to meet you.



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  • Forum Moderator
Timber Wolf

Hi Ethereal,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!


Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

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  • Who's Online   13 Members, 0 Anonymous, 73 Guests (See full list)

    • Jackie C.
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    • Shay
      mellow time...............    
    • Shay
      i feel like I'm at standstill.
    • Shay
      time - fast and yet so slow.................
    • Shay
      Even though I feel like in a holding pattern - this song occurred to me this morning and has a lot to say to me today.    
    • Niamh
      I'm probably old enough to be your childs grandparent, but I'm going through some questioning about how to address my own legal name. I wonder if the solution I'm thinking of for myself may be appropriate for your child. I'm not sure if the same rules apply to official/registered names in USA (I'm in UK), but why not legally ADD your child's new name to their registered name. I have many friends and family who choose one of their first names to be known by. My Mother in Law for example has always be known by her 2nd registered name.   If you were to register your child's new name as their first but retain their original name as a second would this compromise work for you both?
    • Jackie C.
      Early on? Yeah. It takes a minute for your mind to settle into the idea that you're where you're supposed to be. The dysphoria monster keeps telling you that you're a fraud and that sends you tripping down the steps into a death spiral. It is very much a fake it until you make it situation. I misgender MYSELF sometimes. It gets easier with time though. Your new identity takes precedence over the one you wore for so long. When I feel like a fraud, I revel in something girly for a while. A romance novel, treatment, dressing hyper-femme for a bit, whatever. Just to remind myself how much I love being who I am.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Salutations @Hsarandos! Welcome to Transpulse!   So your son wants to be called Xi. That's the name that he thinks fits him the best. He likes it. He wants to be called Xi. Go for it. If he decides he wants to change it later, that's OK too. I didn't go with my first choice, but it's not really a big deal.   I think you're getting a little hung up on all the work you did to name your son. The thing with names though is that we hang them on someone before we really get to know them. Sure, you know your son fairly well (at least it seems like that, kudos for being supportive parents by the way) now, but how well did you know him when he was just born? Heck, you thought he was a girl!   His reluctance to go with his given name could be bad feelings because he associates it with being a girl. Sure, it's unisex, but when he wore it, it was while he was pretending to be a girl. He might not want the reminder. The time we spend pretending to be the gender everybody says we are hurts and your son might just want a clean break. I'm not saying you have to change it in the Official Records just yet. Let that ride for a while until he's sure. If that's the name he wants going forward as your son though? Call him Xi. Being trans is stressful enough, he needs your love, acceptance and support. It sounds like you're on the right track. Keep up the good work!   Hugs!
    • KathyLauren
      I hope your tooth feels better soon!   You could suggest that they do the interview by Zoom or Skype or something.  This is 2021: everyone uses technology for meetings.  They would still get to read your facial expressions and see how you present yourself, which is why they ask for in-person interviews.
    • Tasha Marie
      Thank you @Vanessa
    • SheenaT
      If you make it to Spokane maybe we could meet for coffee?
    • LusciousTheLock
      Hiya peeps   So, here in the UK we've essentially been on lockdown for the past 12 months, meaning all the shops are shut. Also meaning all the laser hair removal shops are shut. This has been traumatising. Nothing sets off a good bout of dysphoria like a nice beard in the morning!   At Christmas, after dressing at home and weekends for the past twelve months, essentially full time, I came out at work. I work with and around 200-300 people face to face as a Transport Manager, so my transition has become very public. Everybody has been polite and respectful using my new name and gender pronouns. However, It makes me feel terrible. I feel like a fraud, with makeup hiding beard all the time. I feel we're all playing make-believe with people calling me She/her. Maybe being forced to do so? Is it normal to feel this way?    
    • Jamie68
      I would guess the baby shower ranked right up there with a Tupper ware party. I've always thought all those kind of events were boring. The good part was that you were invited, and treated the same as any other woman.   I hesitate saying this because my therapist just told me about it. It looks like the grieving process is getting over with your wife and she's starting to accept you as you are more. YAY!
    • Confused1
      Hi JN Orange. Welcome to Trans Pulse. I am AMAB but have felt somewhat similar to you. Not driven strongly to either side. I am out to wife and select few. My wife is straight as well. I am without hormones due to ADT for prostate cancer and subsequently realized how much I hate testosterone. I am enjoying the changes that have been happening. I am getting GCS soon to fix a botched prostate surgery. It helps a lot when your spouse is supportive.   Hugs, Mike
    • Kasumi63
      Wow! Twelve hours! I guess it takes a lot of time to make lots a great little changes—and a couple of larger ones! Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations!
    • SheenaT
      Get well soon🤗
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