Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I am Zooey. Finally.


Zooey

Recommended Posts

Hello. My name is Zooey. I'm a 42 year-old trans woman. I've known I'm a girl since I was five years old. But I was raised in a strict conservative home in the rural south in the United States. I have spent my whole life keeping this secret. And as you all know it has been painful much of the time and unbearable some of the time. I'm a girl and I've been forced to live in this body. It's not fair that I've had to pretend to be a boy my whole life. 

A month or so ago I finally decided it was time to be myself, at least with my wife. Who knows how much time I have left, you know? I told her I am a woman and she reacted in the best way imaginable. She sort of shrugged her shoulders and said, "that's cool". She actually acted confused that I thought it might be a big deal. "So, you're a woman. OK. What do you want for dinner?" And just like that, we are wife and wife. She even calls me her wife and uses my real name. I'm getting emotional just talking about it right now. I don't know if I'll come out to the world just yet but I'm thankful I no longer have to hide in my own home. 

Anyway, I look forward to sharing more of my story over my time here. I'm thankful I found this forum. I can't wait to get to know some of you and find myself even more through the resources available here. Thank you. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi, Zooey.  Welcome!

 

I am so happy for you that your wife is so accepting!  I am lucky in that respect, too.  I wish you success in whatever transition steps you might choose to take.

 

Regards,

Kathy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Aww, that's sweet @Zooey! I'm glad your wife had such a positive response!

 

Yeah, completely understand where you're coming from. I expect you'll find a lot of the girls here have similar stories. My "What am I doing?" moment didn't come until I was 48, but yeah. I completely get it.

 

Anyway, welcome to Transgenderpulse! Please feel free to join the discussion as the mood strikes you. We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Hi Zooey, it's nice to meet you and welcome to Trans Pulse! I'm so touched to read about how your wife has so openly accepted and supported you, what a beautifully affirming experience that you can be yourself in the comfort of home and not keep such an important part of yourself hidden from everyone, especially with the kind of environment you describe you grew up in. Like you, I hid and even actively denied my own gender identity and expression for years until the pain of doing so became too much. I've now come out to my partner as well as several close friends, and transitioning to living as a woman.

 

Looking forward to getting to know you!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to comment

Hi @Zooey. I glad you found us. This really is a great place. I've been here about 7 months and have learned and grown so much. There are so many helpful and understanding people here.

Link to comment

Hi @Zooeyand welcome to the group!! Boy, when I started reading your first paragraph I wondered if someone had copied and pasted mine here. I can really identify with a lot of what you shared. I hope you feel at home here. This is a great place with a lot of awesome people. Thanks for joining us! ❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Zooey,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

Thank you all so much. I feel so safe here. And I wanted to reiterate that my wife is so amazing. She treats me like a girl now and our relationship has never been stronger. We were friends before but now it feels more intimate. We're going out right now to find me some tops and fingernail polish. I truly believe she is as excited as I am. I love life right now. I absolutely love life right now. I wish everyone was so lucky. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello @Zooey, You have truly been blessed. It takes a rare individual to be able look beyond gender and see the core person and realize...”Hey, this person regardless of their presentation means everything to me and I want to support them in any way I can.”

I think you will continue to experience a wonderful journey with your wife right along side you. Moving into the role of wife has been an incredible experience for me and I’m sure you’ll soon see, if you haven’t already, just how fulfilling it can be. Thank you for sharing some of your uplifting news with us here. It gives others hope that things can work out even after coming out.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Zooey said:

I love life right now. I absolutely love life right now. I wish everyone was so lucky. 

 

It makes me so happy to read this!  :)

Link to comment

Hi Zooey, I'm SO happy for you and SO jealous at the same time.  I'm 52 and came out to my wife a few months ago and it was NOTHING like your experience.  The first thing she said to me when I told her I was a woman was "are you gay?".  To that I said "no, I'm lesbian".  It didn't make a difference, she wants to have nothing to do with it, refuses to go to couple therapy, refuses to acknowledge it, threatens to leave when/if I start transitioning, accuses me of destroying the family when/if I come out, blames me for deceiving her by not telling her before we got married 23 years ago, and on and on and on.  Notice she said "when/if" because to me it's not an IF it's a WHEN and WHEN it happens I'm pretty sure the kids will be with me and she'll be the one left behind.  Anyway, this is about you, not about me.  Do make the best out of what you have and take extremely good care of your wife, she so totally deserve it and you totally deserve her.

 

Love

Link to comment

BTW, I love to hear stories like these, sure I'm jealous but people like your wife make the world a better place for current and future generations.  For me it's too late, my wife is how she is and won't change, I have to wait another few years before I can do anything.

Link to comment

I don't mean to keep harping on it, because I know some here aren't as fortunate. But I'm sitting here in clothes which confirm my identity, complete with breast forms and a bra my wife bought for me. My kid has accepted the change. I know it will be more challenging if I ever want to go out in the world as myself. But I'm happy today. I wish everyone could have this. I wish I'd been more brave earlier on. Wow. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Nothing at all wrong with being happy and letting people know. We need to have affirming stories as much as we need to give each other support when things go poorly.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Zooey the day may soon come when you will want to start moving in the world as yourself.  Your families support will help! I can say that is wonderful to walk into the ladies room with your wife.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
18 hours ago, Zooey said:

But I'm happy today. I wish everyone could have this

I wish so too.

Have fresh ground coffee this morning, which I’m usually too lazy to make.  

I’m at my daughter’s for the weekend.    They invited me up to get away from the house for a bit.   She has been one of my biggest supporters since I came out, and even went to appointments with me in the beginning when I was terrified.  
 

1 hour ago, Charlize said:

 I can say that is wonderful to walk into the ladies room with your wife

I have had this offer from my daughter, but chickened out.    Sigh.  Maybe soon.   I have been told I pass better than I realize.   I do know that things do get easier with time.  

Link to comment

Thanks, as always, everybody. We discussed hormones today but she's not 100% sure she's ready to move that far just yet, if ever. I am 6'3 and not likely to pass. Regardless, it would be nice to have a body closer to the one I've always wanted. It's a big decision. If I only had myself to consider I'd begin hormones ASAP. But for now I'm going to get used to being myself out in the open. And it's nice hearing my wife using my pronouns and my real name. We're still in early days. Who knows what the future holds?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 105 Guests (See full list)

    • Timber Wolf
    • KathyLauren
    • DeeDee
    • MaeBe
    • Jet McCartney
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,023
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Delaney
    Newest Member
    Delaney
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      At the same time there might be mtf boys who transitioned post-puberty who really belong on the girls' teams because they have more similarities there than with the boys, would perform at the same level, and might get injured playing with the bigger, stronger boys.   I well remember being an androgynous shrimp in gym class that I shared with seniors who played on the football team.  When PE was no longer mandatory, I was no longer in PE. They started some mixed PE classes the second semester, where we played volleyball and learned bowling and no longer mixed with those seniors, boys and girls together.
    • Timi
      Leggings and gym shorts, sweatshirt, Handker wild rag. Listening to new Taylor Swift album while strolling through the rose garden in the park. 
    • Ivy
      Grey short sleeved dress under a beige pinafore-type dress.  Black thigh highs (probably look like tights).  It was cool this morning so a light black colored sweater.  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People love bureaucracy.  It makes everything cut and dried, black and white, and often unjust, unmerciful, wasteful and downright stupid.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...