Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My story


Ava87

Recommended Posts

 

I figured I tell you my story on how I found out I was trans this will be a long one.all when I was in middle/high school.I new something was wrong about my gender, I use to try on my mom’s underwear and pantyhose.The feeling i got I supposed to wear something like that.this was the first time I hid this feeling from myself. a month later I saw a dress at work, I thought was cute  so I purchased it . And When I got it home I had to sneak  it passed by my mom and I did. Then tried it on in my room and there was that feeling again. And I said to my self this isn’t right we are a man not a girl. Then I shoved that feeling again deep inside myself. But at this point I all ready was sorta playing as the opposite gender in imaginary play. But it really didn’t hit me intel I started to watch a anime called ranma one Half. The one where they could change there gender just by the temp of the water. And I thought it would be cool i could change into a girl and never change back. Then I just laughed it off and didn’t think about it again. But that feeling kept coming back and back. Of course I’m a gamer so I tried playing the opposite gender in rpg and it felt right. Then I started to look up what was gender dysphoria .Then I did some research on it off and on for a long time. At this point i new I was trans I just didn’t want to deal with it. So I would beat my self very time that feeling came up! And said you are a guy and not a girl. Soon after that I tried to  commit suicide in 2015 shortly later that year I came out as trans, but my father’s health was as declining and I put my mental health on the back burner. I’m not going to add any more to this story because it would take for ever. Ps im sorry I haven’t been around  just Ben really busy.

Link to post

Hi Ava, good to hear from you again and thank you for sharing some of your story with us. I certainly relate to the long road of struggles with gender dysphoria, doubting my own gender identity and expression through mental battles in my head, and nearly self-destructing in my darkest moments. It sounds like you are in a better place emotionally now than before you came out several years ago, though I'm sorry to hear about your father. Wherever you are in your journey today, I'm hopeful you'll find the support you're looking for, both here as well as elsewhere in your life.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to post
ElizabethStar

Hi @Ava87.  A good friend of mine is named Ava. It's a beautiful name. Parts of your story resonate with me even the dark parts.

Link to post
  • Admin
Carolyn Marie

Welcome back, Ava.  If I've never met you before, I'm glad to meet you now.  Your story is similar to many here, including the part about wishing to end your life.  I'm glad you didn't, and I hope that if you ever feel like that again you'll come here and talk to us, or visit the Chat Room via Discord.

 

Please ask us any questions, and we will always do our best to answer them honestly; no sugar coating, I promise.  Take care of yourself and good luck!

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to post
Vanessa Michelle

@Ava87Welcome to the group!! Thanks for sharing your story too! ❤️

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Timber Wolf

Hi Ava,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

Hello @Ava87, It is nice to read a little about your journey thus far and how it got you to our forum. Many of us here have had similar experiences..including myself. I think researching, experimenting, and looking for answers can be helpful, especially in the beginning.

Have you discussed this with any family or friends you can trust? It’s a tough thing to go through alone. Isolation is sometimes one of the things that come with being trans but it comes with a price. Finding allies for support is so important, imho.

If your mom supportive of you with regards to being trans, maybe she would help you find a good therapist to assist you in this process of self exploration. I know it’s confusing at times and can cause a lot of stress. Just realize that you are not alone and it’s possible to work through all this in time with some help. We are here for you and will try to help you in any way we can.

 

I wish you the best on you journey wherever it may lead you,

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   14 Members, 0 Anonymous, 73 Guests (See full list)

    • Red_Lauren.
    • ElizabethStar
    • Teri Anne
    • SheenaT
    • AgnesBardsie
    • Shay
    • Delcina B
    • DeeDee
    • Mia Marie
    • KimmieElise
    • Jackie C.
    • 2beBreanna
    • KymmieL
    • Iris
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      73,347
    • Total Posts
      675,407
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,156
    • Most Online
      8,356

    SwedeGirl
    Newest Member
    SwedeGirl
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. jowilla
      jowilla
  • Posts

    • Mia Marie
      This month I am 6 months on HRT. Had my 3 month appointment yesterday and I was told that my testosterone went to an undetectable level. She had me back off to a half tab of my T-blocker at night and I have to disolve my estrogen under my tongue. She also told me she might put me on injectable estrogen if the levels don't raise enough. I've heard people say that they prefer to inject  over the pill. I'm open to it as the taste and grit feeling is a little nasty with putting it under my tongue lol. The good news is my CBC's are back to normal. I hope my a1c comes back normal. I am so tired of getting more pills to take and I would hate to have to completely change my eating habits as a diabetic. That would really suck. 
    • Jackie C.
      That has to be hard. My mother does not approve of my trans-ness or my gay-ness ("It's a phase." "You just have low T." "You're confused!") and if I was in a similar situation to yours I would definitely be out on the street. Dad was surprisingly OK with it, but she dominates and manipulates him on the regular. Fortunately, I was financially independent and living on my own long before I came out.   You might be pleasantly surprised if you come out. Like I've said though, I prefer to hope for the best while planning for the worst. Maybe your own place is a little ambitious. Your own place with one or more roommates might be more affordable. Maybe a friend lets you crash for a bit while you get back on your own feet. Maybe you just live in your van for a while (I'm assuming you have a van in this scenario), until your bills are under control again. The point being that you need a way to move forward. Maybe it's just a little bit but progress towards our goals are important for our mental health. Good luck!   Hugs!
    • Shay
      @Willow Farmer I needed to hear some beautiful soft music this morning and your post filled the bill. Very pretty music. Thank you.
    • Mia Marie
      I have been feeling more alone lately. I feel even more alone each time my dad says bad things about someone who is not straight. Makes it harder and harder to know soon enough I will have to tell him and it scares me something fierce to think it will go extremely bad. My coming out to him now could put me on the homeless list and I can't deal with something like that. My bills keep going up so money for my own place is still a little out of the question. It seems like the more I try to get things going right, the harder some things get.
    • SheenaT
    • SheenaT
    • Shay
      I feel at standstill or plateau today and need a little hope - looked up songs of hope and the top 1 was a song I play in a band and love playing bass and singing harmonies - thank you Mr. Harrison - I'm glad you took a walk in Eric Clapton's garden.    
    • JustineM
      Good morning ladies, gentlemen and others. Today is going to be a huge day for me. Currently at my Primary drs to get my medical clearance for HRT and this afternoon is the therapist appointment to get my letter of recommendation!! Kind of nervous, after all the trials and tears this is getting SO close to being a thing. 
    • JustineM
      Unseen but there is a new bra and my favorite black skirt. Going to multiple appointments today. Had time to do my nails last night. Got a new base coat and top coat so we’ll see how long these last.
    • Shay
      This is for me - I feel at a plateau or standstill and I want more and wish family and surgery were closer..............  
    • Shay
      Feel standstill in transition WANT MORE.
    • Red_Lauren.
      That's how I have felt for the last 20 or so years. I'm just glad I'm seeing some physical results this quick. I figured I might have seen maybe some thing around fall, and I didn't think it would have been like this. Maybe ill get blessed, or maybe this will be all I get. Either way I still have a long way to go. 
    • Jackie C.
      They're both good looks, but my sweater equation is usually. If cold, then sweater. If NOT cold, then no sweater.   Of course I'm dealing with a wig, so removing layers if I get overheated can be a tremendous pain in the butt.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Heh, don't worry about it. I have envy for like 90% of other women. I know it's the dysphoria talking most of the time.   Hugs!
    • Red_Lauren.
      Sorry if I made you jealous. I know how that feels. I can't wait to tell my girlfriend's. I know they will find it funny that im acting like every teenage girl when they notice they have breast. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...