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Hi, looking to reconnect and hungry for info on being fluid.


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my name is Tomi, M/F I had been on hrt for about a year in 2012, came down with multiple myeloma, life being a lot shorter when your older, decided to pick up my self and start again. restarted hrt in Aug. '20 with physician who seems knowledgeable enough.  not looking to to go all the way (though wish I could-I know, I know) settling for the best of both lives.   HRT (at the correct peaceful level), cosmetics and generally anything to be able to cope in such a state of life. I come to see all the tried and true "real experienced" info and this seems like a warm and wonderful place to find it. So a sincere Hello to all those who are here!

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Carolyn Marie

Welcome to Transgender Pulse, Tomi.  I'm so glad you're doing better after that bout with cancer, and it seems like things are going well for you.  We're glad you're here and hope that we can assist with anything you need, in terms of both advice, experience or just friendship.  I hope to "see" you around the forums.




Carolyn Marie

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Hi Tomi, it's nice to meet you and welcome to the forums. I wholeheartedly agree, this is a warm and wonderful place full of many lovely people with diverse experiences and perspectives. I feel very at home here since I joined right around Thanksgiving. I'm happy to hear that you're in a better place especially after your battle with cancer, and it's wonderful you have a doctor who's supportive of your goals with HRT. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.




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3 hours ago, tomi said:

life being a lot shorter when your older, decided to pick up my self and start again. restarted hrt in Aug. '20

Hi Tomi, Welcome to our humble forum. The “life is short” idiom is the reason I moved forward with my transition too. I was 56 and realized if I was ever going to do it...now is the time. I think it’s never too late to try to better yourself. You seem to know exactly what you want. Thanks for sharing some of your story with us. I look forward to reading more as you feel the need.


Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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Hello Tomi and welcome.  I'm glad to read you're doing better and have picked up on life.  Please join in!!



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I'm feeling warm all over already, thanks so much for the greetings! I look up to anyone who have transitioned! what a feat!
I have been in remission, my type of cancer doesn't go away,only maintained. I feel actually better being on HRT, physically and emotionally. a particular nasty problem disappeared and it has given me that better hope, lifted spirits and that new outlook that says "I have better things to do with my life" and that feeling increases as I continue with HRT. but yes, I do watch carefully my disease.

I am not out to anyone and my latest fear is having my other Dr's know that I'm on HRT. I work for the same health system and I just denied I was on estrogen the other day as it came up on their computer system as I saw a new Dr regarding reducing my prednisone that I've been on for years. I know it's wrong and realize it's going to come out sooner or later. Even though due to HIPPA laws, such info must remain confidential, we all know (especially in a small city) that talk seeps out and  soon people will start to talk 🤫  I want it this way because I am not planning on transition, just to be fluid, to give myself some peace and a new outlook on life. If I am ever questioned about it, I made a commitment to say YES, I am on estrogen and finasteride if it comes up. I guess that will be my 1t and possibly only stop I will take in "coming-out" just to my physicians

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1 hour ago, tomi said:

I just denied I was on estrogen the other day as it came up on their computer system as I saw a new Dr regarding reducing my prednisone that I've been on for years.

Your health is more important than keeping this secret from those in charge of your prescriptions and medical care. I think most medical professionals will not condemn you for this revelation. That being said, I am not in your shoes and don’t know anything about your specific work environment. But if there’s some worry about your job and transitioning, I would talk to someone in HR about your rights in the workplace. I would hope there wouldn’t be any blowback if you talked to your doctor and told them all the medications you’re on and came clean. I realize how difficult this  is but who knows...they might even surprise you!


Susan R🌷

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Welcome aboard Tomi.

Congrat's on your decision and your journey . Very proud of you for being a Cancer Survivor.  

Be Safe, BE Proud and KICK ASS

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Chloe Cozee

Hi Tomi,


It's nice to meet you. I am also a cancer survivor. Be strong and be your best girl!




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Hi Tomi! nice to meet you and Welcome!

On 1/19/2021 at 3:10 AM, tomi said:

I am not out to anyone

Me either.  Only to my wife and its a bit of a struggle for her.  I am also not able to start HRT yet so all of these obstacles add additional anxieties that go beyond the gender dysphoria.  Gender therapy has been extremely helpful for me to deal with these complexities.


I understand it complex and you also have to balance your other health concerns, but I do detect though that being able to accept and live as close as possible to your True self is what really makes you happy.  So I hope you can find the path that fits best to your situation ... and realize its not set in stone.  You are in the drivers seat❣️


Deep breaths ... one step at a time

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Vanessa Michelle

Hi @tomiand welcome!! Idk how I missed this post until now, but I am glad you're here and I hope you feel at home. Thanks for sharing your story with us. ❤️

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Hi Tomi

I'm in the VA Health Care system, and for three months, I've been in MtF transition. The VA is seriously committed to helping people like me, with HRT, a Gender Therapist, an online Trans group, and other occasional needs. I really appreciate it all; however, 

they "chart" everything into my medical file, which is available to every medical professional in the VA across the country and I suppose in military hospitals world-wide.


Without the VA, I couldn't afford it, sooo,

"Screw it," I said. I just stopped worrying about it. They're supposed to maintain confidentiality, but if they don't, t'hell with it. I don't know these people, they're not my judge or family members, and, it's none of their business anyway, unless they're treating me. You are violating no policy with HRT [if your employer has such a policy, it's not legal -- see recent discussion under "Thank you, Joe], but they would be in violation of HIPAA. I figured they've got a lot more to loose. 


Let me add my welcome

~~Big hug, from Lee~~


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3 hours ago, Lee H said:

Without the VA, I couldn't afford it

My experience with them has been good so far.    I’m out anyway.  

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