My Biggest Concern Regarding Aging

[Sally Stone]

I turned 63 this past year and I am absolutely stunned by how quickly I got here.  I'm still very healthy, but I do feel the effects of aging, some days more than others.  Of all the things that come with getting older, though, the one thing that worries me the most is, will there come a time when it will be too much trouble for me to assume my feminine persona.

 

Face it, "femulating" is hard work and there are days when the thought of preparing myself just feels like too much effort.   Right now, those days are far and few between, but I've already seen it happen with a couple of my older trans friends, so I know it could be a distinct possibility for me as well.  I hope that day will never come, or if it does, I want it to be way off in the future.  I know this isn't probably an issue for those of you living your preferred gender full-time, but as a part-time woman, it is a very real fear for me.  For now, I plan to live my feminine life to its fullest and try to ignore the possibility of of its eventual demise.

[Chloe Cozee]

We are in our early 60's. My wife does not put makeup on everyday like when she was younger and worked full time. I will take every chance that I can to be Chloe and I am enthusiastic about putting my makeup on! My wife warns me that I will someday feel like her, that it is too much work to be a woman. I hope that day never comes. I hope that I would still use some blush and lip shimmer. Try to stay young at heart!

[KatieP]

OMG, Sally!!!

 

Your post hits me right in the... heart!!!

 

And, I would like to maybe disagree with your comment that, "I know this isn't probably an issue for those of you living your preferred gender full-time..."

 

I am older than you, and I AM full time, everywhere. And I worry about this SOOOOO much. In fact, I would say that the surgeries I have had are ALL in response to my thoughts on this point. I have watched my Father-in-Law in his Memory Care unit. He is doing fine, but mostly doesn't recall even his name. If I were in that place, and unable to advocate for myself, what would the people in MY old folk's home treat me like? Probably by that time, I won't care at all. But I still think that I want them to see female when they change MY diapers, and that they hear female, no matter how hard I try or not.

 

While this may sound a bit morbid, I think that by preparing for my possible future I have ALSO made my current present MUCH better, as it has turned out.

 

In your case, not being full time, I am thinking such choices might be even harder. I feel for you, even more because of this difficulty...

 

Katie

[Lexi C]

I am 58 , on HRT for over 2yrs., full time, single.

Been trying to get my surgeries going before I hit 60. But finding it extremely difficult with my current PPO .

My dilemma  is that I am alone and I  keep seen a future of loneliness. And I fear that when I finally get my ffs, VP I will be to old to enjoy the dream and not be able to find that special someone. SO what's the point..

[KayC]

Great topic @Sally Stone!  growing old is a natural concern and can be the source of anxiety all on its own.  Now, add on gender dysphoria or just the desire to look our best every day we can.
I think if we have the determination, and most importantly the desire to look great (however we present ourselves) there is no reason Age should get in the way.
I have seen some great looking and stylish older people out in public .. and you know what?  they always look Happier.  So, I think there is a double benefit in that.  Let's ROCK IT Old People❣️

[Audrey]

@Sally Stone This topic hits close to home for me because of what I do for a living. I work in a community center with exclusively serving older adults, I've have been there for approaching six years now though I should say that I'm coming from a younger perspective (I'm in my early 40's). Thinking about the conversations I've had with the center members, the fears often revolve around loss of independence, identity, and roles. The last two I feel are especially relevant to what you're reflecting on here, along with the worry about an isolated future as @Lexi Cdescribes. We can't stop ourselves from aging, but we can avoid the secondary feelings that might be associated with it by keeping the essential aspects of our identity and the most meaningful roles going. It's also been my impression that building and maintaining a community of friends helps a great deal coping with anxieties around aging. Your connections with other trans friends both here and in real life are likely to be motivating and confidence-boosting, and that itself will make it easier to be the you that you want to be. I hope this helps!

 

Love,

~Audrey.