Hello, an introduction

[BillieB]

Hello to all! This site was recommended to me from a YouTube I watched. I am 61 years old and been on a journey of discovery the past few years. A few years back I finally admitted to myself that I was bisexual, about two weeks ago I finally embraced my realization that I was no longer comfortable in my AMAB body. I have reached out to a therapist and am waiting to hear back. My wife point blank asked me what was going on, as I have been a bit agitated since my self-revelation. I told her dreading how she would react, she has been understanding and supportive. I currently use the label Non-binary because I am just starting my transitional journey and I am unsure how I can reasonably pass as I am 6’5” and stand out as a man, I get stared at all the time. I know there are tall women, but I have uncertainty how I can be received as a woman. Even with my doubt, this is a journey I MUST go on.

 

BillieB

[Audrey]

Welcome @BillieB, it's nice to meet you and I'm happy you've joined us here.  By any chance, was it Jackie Rabbit's channel that guided you here? I'd watched her videos but never made the connection until after I joined. It's wonderful that your wife has been supportive of you despite for fears about how she would respond. I relate to your anxieties about passing and being clocked, and the doubts you feel are perfectly natural. But the most important thing about the journey is that it's uniquely personal to you. You can take any of the steps you want to - social, medical, legal - whatever helps you be the person you know yourself to be. I look forward to seeing you around the forums and getting to know you better!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Mx.Drago]

Hey there and welcome!

You'll be fine as a tall lady, you might make women jealous mostly cuz your height makes you more visibly imposing. Women can be very competitive. At least your wife is in on the situation and can back you up if need be. Plus there be many here in the forum who be towers of glamour all their own. There's also quite a few topics about those with extra tall figures on this site for tips and other things. Be confident knowing you're not alone out their. Glad to have you join in on the journey.

[Mmindy]

Good afternoon @BillieB

 

Welcome to TransPulseForums and as @Audreymentioned, you're welcome here, there are people of all walks of life and experience to share with you non judgmental advice, and support. Even tall people. 

 

Hugs, (masked of course)

 

Mindy???

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, BillieB said:

I currently use the label Non-binary because I am just starting my transitional journey and I am unsure how I can reasonably pass as I am 6’5” and stand out as a man, I get stared at all the time.

 

I have a friend who keeps telling me that tall women are dead sexy. Especially in a black dress and heels. I'm only 5'11", but the reality is that nobody gives a damn how tall I am except me.

 

Either way, welcome to Transpulse! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

[BillieB]

Yes Audrey, it was Jackie Rabbit’s YouTube I found and subscribed to. Thank you to all for your warm welcome and encouraging words, I am excited for the journey ahead!

 

BillieB

[Sally Stone]

Hi Billie.  Just like Jackie says, tall girls are sexy.  I'm 6 foot 2 inches tall before I step into heels and my go to heel height is 3 to 3 1/2 inches, so yeah, I'm extremely tall when I'm presenting as Sally.  I get lots of stares, but always considered them flattery for my hard work to look beautiful.  After all, they are intoxicated by my height, right?  That's my story, in any case.

 

Welcome to TransPulse. 

[Jani]

Hello Billie and welcome!  Don't worry about your height.  Tall people all over are envied.  We are no different.  Yes people will look but as @Sally Stone notes they're just intoxicated by us!!

 

Cheers, Jani

[Susan R]

7 hours ago, BillieB said:

I have uncertainty how I can be received as a woman. Even with my doubt, this is a journey I MUST go on.

Hello @BillieB, It’s a pleasure to have you with us here. It sounds like you realize the importance of finding your truth...it is a MUST when you get to where you are. Your research has got you this far already.  Don’t worry too much about the small details especially in the beginning when the entire transition seems insurmountable when looking at the entire process all together. Step by step is the easiest way to tackle these types of journeys. Nearly every transgender individual who is thinking about taking their first steps into transition has “something” they are convinced is going to keep them from becoming who they are. As you know, it is not your looks that define your gender. You know (or perhaps will find out soon enough) exactly who you are with a little time an effort. Please don’t let one attribute define who you are for the rest of your life because you ‘think’ it will keep you from true happiness. Many people that start their transition and stick with it through the ups and downs find very soon afterwards that it is much more of a mental perspective than they originally thought. Every one of us would love to change one or two things about ourselves but just like cis women, we manage to work around these supposed shortcomings. As many have mentioned...tall women can be very attractive..it’s about so much more. Don’t hold yourself back as you will likely surprise yourself a year from now just how much closer you are to your dream.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Bri2020]

Welcome!  I can't say anything that hasn't been said already. I worried about whether I would "pass" as a woman at first, but as I got further along I just don't care anymore.  I just want to be me. And yes, of course people stare at me.....I'm almost 6', and a red head, who wouldn't want a second look . 

Welcome again, join in and ask away. 

Hugs

Bri

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Transgender Pulse, Billie.  I started my journey at the age of 55 and there are many of us here in that age group.  You are among friends who understand.  You're right that you may stand out from the crowd, but many women stand out in many different ways.  They're still women and deserve consideration and respect, and so will you.  I look forward to hearing more from you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Vanessa Michelle]

Hi @BillieB and welcome to the group!! Tall is just fine! I was always told growing up in the 80's that California girls were tall so hey! Thanks for sharing with us and I hope you feel the love here. I too am here thanks to Jackie Rabbit @jae bear She's awesome!! ❤️

[Timber Wolf]

Hi BillieB,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[jae bear]

Hey BillieB!

I am so glad that you found your way here! This is the right place to ask questions, these are the girls that I confide in, the ones that helped me, and I trust their advice will be good. So much of what has been said I simply agree with, I won’t bore you with recounting all of what’s been said already, but there are plenty of tall women in the world! The process of transition takes time, but it’s also not forever, so the end at some point, the goal line if you will, is out there somewhere, I have asked that question so many times and I finally realize all the answers the girls here gave me were correct, you just have to take it one day at a time.

Jackie ? 

 

[BillieB]

Thank you @jae bear I found your YouTube posts and subscribed and followed your recommendation to here and so glad I did, I have been reading through a lot of the threads and learning so much. I am just setting up my initial session with a therapist  and looking forward to the journey, with some fear, and a lot of excitement!

 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, jae bear said:

but there are plenty of tall women in the world! The process of transition takes time, but it’s also not forever, so the end at some point, the goal line if you will, is out there somewhere, I have asked that question so many times and I finally realize all the answers the girls here gave me were correct, you just have to take it one day at a time.

 

That brings up something that happened to me today that might give you a little sparkle of joy. I'm 5'11". I also suffer from alopecia universalis. If you're not aware of what that means, I have not a single active hair follicle anywhere on my head, body or anything else you care to imagine. I started transitioning with HRT in the summer of 2018 at 48 years old.

 

So today, I needed to get my wife's wedding ring back from the jeweler. It had been shedding stones again which as you know is something jewelry should never, ever do. It's been a few days and my spouse is missing it terribly. I get the call that it's finally ready while I'm finishing up my workout at the gym.

The weather is beastly this morning. I'm harried because I have roughly a billion things to do today and now I need to shovel the drive and walk as well. When I get to my car, I can't find the ticket.

I rush home and search the places I could have left it. Plus the places I'm pretty sure I left it. Then the spots where I couldn't have possibly left it but who knows? No ticket. Time to throw myself on the mercy of whoever is working the desk today.

So I'm at the jewelry store. I'm wearing a headscarf. It's lovely, but anyone with eyes can see that I'm bald. No makeup. I'm rubbish at it anyway. All I have going for me in the winter weather is my face and my voice (which is all vocal training). So what happens?

I'm accepted and treated as the woman I am, that's what. Correct pronouns. No funny looks and an offer of confidence from the woman behind the counter because she can see her sister is in a spot of distress.

 

That's the reality of my life now. It's lovely and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I did it. You can absolutely do it too.

 

Hugs!

[BillieB]

Thank you @Jackie C. that does bring a spark of joy, and a lot of positive hope for the future.

 I am in the middle of setting up my first therapist session and things are looking brighter!

 

[Ivy]

On 1/25/2021 at 11:55 AM, BillieB said:

I currently use the label Non-binary because I am just starting my transitional journey…

Welcome Billie.   I started like this, but it didn't last long.

[CD Rachel]

 

Hi Billie, and welcome.

 

I am also just starting out and have started seeing a therapist. I am 6' 4" and it has been an overwhelming concern for me. But reading through the replies to your introduction has helped me a lot. These forums are a great way to learn and grow, even the questions that I have been afraid to ask or did not consider are answers here with love and patience.

 

Rachel

[BillieB]

An update. I have been flying high since creating this account, I have learned so much from so many of you, had wonderful conversations with a few of you. I had a beautiful first session with my Therapist. Today I have come crashing down, I had to turn back on my dominant boy mode to run off some potential thieves from my property and in a funk because of it. I am mad at myself for dropping back into Macho Mode as a crutch. ?

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, BillieB said:

I am mad at myself for dropping back into Macho Mode as a crutch.

 

Don't be. Early in, I dropped into Angry Man mode to deal with my least favorite neighbor. We go to solutions that we've honed and practiced over time. You can't expect to completely abandon your defense mechanisms overnight. They got you through a lot.

 

OK, you did something you're not proud of. All you can do now (unless you have time-travel abilities of which I'm unaware) is take note and try to do better in the future. There's no shame in that. This is a journey after all, you're bound to trip now and again.

 

Hugs!

[BillieB]

Thank you @Jackie C. I now know I need to learn how to respond to negative not just positive situations properly. I suppose I should take this as a lesson to learn!

 

Hug you back!

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, BillieB said:

Thank you @Jackie C. I now know I need to learn how to respond to negative not just positive situations properly. I suppose I should take this as a lesson to learn!

 

Hug you back!

I get it. Everytime I have to raise my voice to my dog it goes really deep and I hate it.  I've tried to use my feminine voice with the dog but she doesn't listen then.  It puts mu in the dumps for an hour or so.