Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

OMG THIS IS SOOOOOO AWESOME !


Holly Brandt

Recommended Posts

Holly Brandt

Hi  all I am new to this site but have found so much info it is not even funny, 

 About me in a bit older  55  I I like Her  and Holly as me :)  I have all the classic Issues only hiding it my whole life. But that is about to CHANGE !!!!!

I just came out to my first family member . Lost of stuff to work out lots of issues i need to get taken care of.  Please  Feel free to chat  with me  

I live in Tulsa Oklahoma  I have kids but fully grown and out of the house . Im on my 3 marriage . (now i know why) So where do i go from here  hmmmmmmmmmmmmm I have no clue i need to see a shrink  so yhaaaa 

Link to post
  • Root Admin
Petra Jane

Welcome @Holly Brandt to the forums, glad you’ve found us. Take care, enjoy your journey and stay safe.

Link to post

Hi @Holly Brandt, it's nice to meet you and welcome to Trans Pulse. I'm glad you've joined the community and happy to hear you've found the resources here helpful. i'm hopeful you'll find support here too as you begin your journey, and that the family member you came out to has been accepting and supportive of you. As you mention, a gender therapist would be a great connection to make at this stage.

Looking forward to seeing you around and getting to know you.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

Link to post
Chloe Cozee

Hi Holly,

 

Warm welcomes! Thank you for sharing with us. I look forward to seeing you around the website.

 

Hugs,

Chloe

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Holly.  Like you i was not young when i came here.  Many of us were a bit older😄.  I found that posting here and reading about the journeys of others helped my journey.  I also found a gender therapist who helped me understand myself.  Simply knowing i was not alone was a revelation.  We can help each other in many ways.  

Relax and enjoy your journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Timber Wolf

Hi Holly,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to post

Welcome Holly!,

I came out/discovered who I was this year shortly after my 54th B-day so I know where you're at.  This community has helped me immensely and yes- a gender therapist is highly recommended. If for no other reason that if you decide to medically transition/HRT at some point you need one. They are easy to do virtual appointments with nowadays. 

It's gonna be exciting and terrifying all at the same time so reach out with your fears and your joys. We're here for you.

Hugs

Bri

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.

Salutations @Holly Brandt! Welcome to Transgenderpulse!

 

So yeah, 55 isn't all that old. I didn't come to terms with my situation until I was 48. I suspected and dreamed for a very long time before I decided to stop hiding and go for it. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

 

A lot of us older gals have trouble with marriage. It's hard to build a stable relationship on a foundation of misdirection. We don't mean it, but if you can't be yourself with your spouse, you're asking for trouble. Some marriages survive, some don't. The odds are basically a coin flip weighted ever so slightly in your favor. I've done dumber things with a smaller chance of success, but I'm glad this particular one worked out for me.

 

So once again, welcome! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

Link to post

Hello and Welcome Holly!

Live, love, laugh and feel free to explore. Glad to have you join us.

Link to post

From one newly out older trans woman to another, and new to the forums; welcome. 😊

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   13 Members, 0 Anonymous, 83 Guests (See full list)

    • Tori M
    • VickySGV
    • Shay
    • AwesomeClaire
    • Niamh
    • Susan R
    • Jackie C.
    • Bri2020
    • Elizabeth Star
    • Aurora
    • DeeDee
    • MaryEllen
    • Kakileli
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      73,689
    • Total Posts
      680,197
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,292
    • Most Online
      8,356

    leongreen
    Newest Member
    leongreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. wishing to be kim
      wishing to be kim
      (61 years old)
  • Posts

    • AwesomeClaire
      Well, she probably won't be supportive then or use your name/pronouns, unfortunately. That's a tough one. You have to think about the possibility/eventuality tho that she will find out. How would you want her to find out?
    • AwesomeClaire
      Ok, have you tried strength training? For example, exercising regularly and including weightlifting, to reduce body fat and increase muscle mass?
    • Bri2020
      I have butt envy Liz I'm in casual mode around the house today and repping my Dolphins. (and I have no butt to show. lol)  
    • Kakileli
      I know that my sister is INCREDIBLY homophobic, so I assume she is transphobic too. Not much else. I don’t live with her btw 
    • Chiefsrule58
      Shame and fear of how others would react and not wanting to disappoint my parents.  Growing up from the time I started kindergarten to when I graduated I was always subject to violence and bullying.  My parents knew of the bullying as well as the  teachers and principles. My mother just kept telling me that if I didn't just act the way I did the other kids would leave me be. My father took a different stance, he thought I should learn to stand up for myself so his approach was either you fight back or I will beat you myself.   It took me a very long time for me to change my believes about myself.  Overtime I got really good at hiding and avoiding others primarily for my own safety. In high school I had the opportunity to join NJROTC which I did because I did not want to deal with the gym locker room.        I enjoyed the experience but still wasn't sure what I wanted to do. My Junior year of high school I took a severe beating by a group of guys so I convinced my mom to let me sign up for the Navy and told the recruiter I wanted to go to Navy boot camp ASAP so I left three days after I graduated high school the next year.        I struggled in my first couple of years in the Navy.  I got better at fitting in and I made friends with a female Sailor and we started hanging out all the time eventually she introduced to me wife. The dysphoria got worse after I married and eventually I came out to her a couple years into our marriage. Eventually our marriage came apart a divorce was eminent then by the grace of God things changed  and we worked things out. At that point I was choosing the Navy; a job that I loved and was good at over authenticity, I had convinced myself that I could tolerate and live with the dysphoria. At this point my wife and I had endured four more deployments and the birth and death of our daughter.      By 2015 we had two more children  both had been diagnosed with ASD.  It was at that point that it just became extremely difficult for me to function and deal with everything on top of the dysphoria. My wife encouraged me and made arrangements for me to see a therapist, so I did and started to attend group as well.  Meeting other transgender people for the first time really changed my life because it gave me hope.       I was at 18 years in the Navy at that point and was very torn on what I wanted to do. I choose to stay Navy and endure.  I kept going to group and therapy when i could and  once the DOD changed the policy I started taking HRT.  Things never really worked out with coming out in the Navy or with medical just to many road blocks. I enjoyed being a Navy Chief so I continued on in my career.  The thing that caused me to move beyond the state of limbo was the two suicide attempts, barley surviving the second one. I held things together after that because I was so grateful just to be alive.        I retired from the Navy in 2020 and things didn't get better so I reached out to the VA for help.  They have been very helpful with the transition out of the Navy.  Along the way I stopped fighting with myself and made the decision to transition and start living full time.  For me it has made all the difference in my life.            Jamie
    • Kakileli
      Kind of. I always feel like my legs are the wrong shape, they look too feminine, they stop me from passing, they make me look like a girl, etc. Etc. 
    • Maddee
      Money.   And fear of making the wrong choices (which Drs, which types and order of procedures, etc)
    • KymmieL
      When I carry my purse. I usually just have my wallet, some makeup, my keys, and maybe some protection. That is about all I can fit in my purse.    
    • Linda Marie
      Out of the blue I get a call. I'm retired and have to go to a business meeting. Do not know what this about, all I know is I text back and told them, I'm wearing polka dots. They said please come as you are. LM♥️  
    • AwesomeClaire
      I was never an alpha male either.  A couple things stopped me from transitioning. Mostly fear and shame. Fear of what people would do to me when they found out, and shame of failing as a man and not living up to others' expectations. Also, I had started losing my hair at some point in my 20s and then I was just like "oh, this is it then, there is no way I can do this." So, another main thing holding me back was lack of knowledge. As far as I knew, "transsexuals" were these weird people that got their stuff removed. Nobody even knew one. I didn't even know about ftm. I didn't know about good wigs even or hormone therapy. It was just me all alone, trying to figure out how to look like a girl, failing at it, and then sadly giving up. I didn't have the words or ability to express what was going on with me. I just knew I wanted to look like a girl, and for a while I tried to make myself look like the very feminine male characters from some video games, especially Dynasty Warriors. I really started experimenting more after coming out to family and some close friends as bi, I tried on a dress and heels for the first time with some friends and just loved it. But then the dark thoughts and fear started crowding in again and I felt what I was doing was ridiculous and wrong, so I quit. It would resurface many times over the years, especially if I got drunk or there was another guy around that I liked. November 2019, a year after my divorce, is when I got a very strong urge to pursue this again - I decided to do it right, I did the research, learned quite a lot, and made the decision to be the real me.
    • AwesomeClaire
      I hadn't had a Facebook account in over a decade. But, my friends in my gaming group were using Facebook groups and I felt I was missing out. A few months into my transition I had decided on Claire, so I started up an FB account. Part of this was intentional. I spent a lot of time and energy talking to my closest friends, family, and coworkers about my transition, explaining why I was doing it, my history, etc. So, rather than surprise more people and have to explain a bunch of stuff, I just put myself out there on FB and let people react as they may. I got an overwhelming amount of support, and it just felt good to get it out of the way and have everyone know about it. 
    • Teri Anne
      You look fab in polka dots Linda Marie. You always look so put together.
    • Willow
      Trying this again, the worry is alway lack of acceptance but it’s never as bad as you imagine.  My wife was my worst and she has given her concerns to God.  We are doing a whole lot better.   Purses, I don’t carry all that in my purse, but I will say after carrying one, I don’t understand why the MURSE never caught on.  I wear glasses in case you hadn’t noticed so a glasses case with my prescription sun glasses, or vice versa, lipstick, hair brush, keys, phone, a compact, I try to carry tissues but use them and don’t think to replace them, a face mask, and my wallet.  It matches the purse.  My wife makes purses and matching wallets out of different materials.  The one I’ve been using is cork.  But she makes quilted, foleather, and others and she usually manages a matching wallet. Sometime my wife and I want the same one and have to share.  Ok, I give in to her most of the time but I have a couple she made specifically for me.
    • Niamh
      While I fully understand that some of us may wish to limit who we "come out" to, I was getting frustrated that I had to work out everytime I posted on facebook who knew what. So on 31 March (transgender day of visibility) I decided to post my transgender status to all those who I had not up to that point informed.  I had feared a bit of a backlash from some of the right-wing family members who were my fb friends, but in fact all the responses I had to my post were entirely positive. One of my fb friends obviously decided to unfriend me (I had made a note of how many fb friends I had before the post), but as I've been unable to work out who that person was - it's clearly no big deal.  But the big plus is that I now know that I don't have to tiptoe around what I post in FB. I have maintained two separate FB identities as I am genderfluid, and I'll post appropriate updates in my male and female FB pages accordingly. I did however invite my male FB friends to "friend" Niamh if they wished and a significant number did.   So I fully understand your desire to not have to hide your identity from anyone - it lifts a big weight from your shoulders and I hope that going forward that your family accept how you are even if they are not supportive.
    • Willow
      Most recent first, Yes I agree the more you manage to come out and (ok why can’t I turn this back off?) are accepted, the better you feel.  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...