Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My Coming Out Journey


BillieB

Recommended Posts

I know I am new to all of this, so I will keep a running dialogue on my coming out journey, I know we all have different journeys but maybe this can be enlightening to someone. I came out to my spouse almost as soon as I came out to myself. I then created my profile here. I have had my first therapy session and one of the things I told her I would need assistance with is my coming out. I have made my list, reviewed it modified it and now moving through my list. I had me eldest daughter stop by after work and had a very heartfelt and thorough talk with her with my spouse involved. My daughter was very understanding and receptive as I imagined. I also asked her her thoughts and telling her younger sister, the next person on my list. I also “came out” modified my Tumblr and game accounts with my new self, though those a fairly anonymous accounts. More to follow after my meeting with my younger daughter.

 

Love and hugs,

BillieB

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, BillieB said:

My daughter was very understanding and receptive as I imagined. I also asked her her thoughts and telling her younger sister, the next person on my list.

Congrats @BillieB on coming out to your daughter. It’s a scary and exciting time but it gets easier with time. Family and friend’s reactions can change slightly from their initial reaction as it does take some time to fully absorb internally how this will or will not affect them. I only mention it because it happened to me and can be a surprise on occasion. Overall it can be a wonderful experience. Eventually, you may even anxiously look forward to revealing your true self to others as it is so freeing to know they finally see the REAL YOU!

 

Best of Luck with the rest of your family,

Susan R?

Link to comment

@BillieBso proud of you! That takes a lot of bravery to come out to family and you did it. Thanks for sharing with us as well. I find it encouraging and I know others here do too ❤️

Link to comment
On 1/28/2021 at 8:41 PM, BillieB said:

My daughter was very understanding and receptive as I imagined.

   Kids these days are much more open and accepting than kids when either of us were younger. My kids are relatively young, the oldest only being 19, I don't know how old your kids are but mine are probably my biggest cheerleaders. I'm sure that your kids will prove the same.

 

On 1/28/2021 at 8:41 PM, BillieB said:

I also “came out” modified my Tumblr and game accounts with my new self

My game accounts (Steam, GOG, etc...) have pretty generic names already. My social media less so, but I'm impressed how quickly you've committed to doing that. I'm still deciding how I want to do that now that my 3 month anniversary is coming up next week. XD

 

Congratulations @BillieB on coming out!

Link to comment

Hello @Drayse I am an oldster, my kids are in their 30’s, I have 4 grandchildren too. I agree the younger generations are much more receptive and accepting. I am just starting on this so as I get farther down this road it might get interesting. Being older though I also can weather some negativity if my core base support me, so I am taking my time coming out to family one by one so I can listen and answer any questions they may have.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, BillieB said:

I also can weather some negativity if my core base support me,

 

That's pretty much how I felt coming out. If my wife supports me, I don't care what anyone else thinks.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Way to go!  Like Susan said, people often react one way at first then go through a processing time and react different through that process until they come out the other end. My kids were excited (they were 23 and 21 at the time) when I first told them, then the next day they struggled with some loss (no longer having a "dad") and then came back around to being excited.  I've had friends that were like "wow, that cool, I'm happy for you" and then a few weeks later have ghosted out of existence.

Link to comment

Came out to one of friends from church(also one of my customers) she wasn’t surprised, she had picked up on some clues, she smiled and said she is happy for me and will be supportive but I also learned she is more my wife’s friend than mine. Overall a good day and one more off my list.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

An Update! I have now come out to my youngest daughter and she was very understanding and supportive. I have come out to my Pastor who is very positive and supportive for me. I have come out to my chiropractor and one of my medical doctors, I will be coming out to the rest of my doctors as I come into contact with them. I have had two more marvelous therapy sessions, I have expanded my Coming Out list and set a timetable to try to get through it. I have my first session at the transgender clinic to discuss HRT on March 3rd and have set Sunday March 7th to complete my list! I expect to get some pushback or negativity eventually but so far everyone has been supportive, so I am flying high right now!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, BillieB said:

An Update! I have now come out to my youngest daughter and she was very understanding and supportive.

Brava! It’s one of the best feelings in the world Isn’t it? I imagined for a long time what this moment would be like for me. And now I’m finally having these conversations myself this week. So I can definitely relate to what you’re experiencing! Very excited for you.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Very good Billie!!  It sounds like some positivity has come your way.  Good luck on the 3rd.

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

An update! I have expanded my Coming Out list again am halfway through my list with a goal of finishing it before Easter. My wife has taken me on a couple of shopping trips and starting to build my wardrobe. I am doing my nails, although a subtle shade of polish for now. I currently only dress feminine when at home and switch to "boy mode" when I go out, I went out this Sunday in one of my feminine outfits (including bra and breast forms) to lunch with a friend who I have already come out to. Afterwards my wife and I went clothes shopping. Tomorrow is my first visit to the Transgender Clinic and am so excited!

 

Virtual hugs to All!

Billie

Link to comment

Today Monday March 8, I came out to another Church friend yesterday who was very supportive, even asked me for my pronouns and new name before I had a chance to inform him. I definitely will finish my list by Easter this year. And today is day 1 of HRT! The journey goes forward!

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

So today March 28th I ended my first phase of coming out! I have contacted everyone on my coming out list, family, friends and church families. Everyone so far has been positive and supportive. To reach out to those I haven't contacted individually I posted this on Facebook: 

A Personal Announcement

Hello to all my family and friends, I hope all is well in your lives! I have a personal truth to reveal, some of you I have already reached out to personally with this. I am trans and have started my transition journey. I have been seeing a gender therapist for a few months and am starting my third week of HRT. I am announcing this publicly now because while it is early in my journey and I don’t have any real physical changes yet I will be living as my new self so you will notice my wardrobe is changing and the physical changes will be happening soon. I am using Billie now for my nickname, I am starting the paperwork for the legal changes my new name is Wilma Rickie Berry. My preferred pronouns at this stage is they/them/their but if that is uncomfortable and you want to use she/her I won’t object! So far everyone I have spoken to about this has been supportive and positive to me which has been awesome! My wife and I are still a couple and the marriage is going strong. My daughters are happy for me and we are still a family. If anyone would like to speak to me or has questions, please contact me. This is not just my lone journey, everyone who supports me is on this too. Love and virtual hugs!

Billie Berry

 

13 replies so far all positive, including from some unexpected. So ends the First Phase of coming out, now the Final Phase begins for the rest of my life, every time I am out in public living my real life. It will be nice if someday I am just seen for the real me, at this point of my life I don't believe so, but if that day does ever come to pass I will count it as a blessing!

 

Love and Hugs to All!

BillieB

Link to comment
1 hour ago, BillieB said:

So today March 28th I ended my first phase of coming out! I have contacted everyone on my coming out list, family, friends and church families. Everyone so far has been positive and supportive. To reach out to those I haven't contacted individually I posted this on Facebook: 

A Personal Announcement

Hello to all my family and friends, I hope all is well in your lives! I have a personal truth to reveal, some of you I have already reached out to personally with this. I am trans and have started my transition journey. I have been seeing a gender therapist for a few months and am starting my third week of HRT. I am announcing this publicly now because while it is early in my journey and I don’t have any real physical changes yet I will be living as my new self so you will notice my wardrobe is changing and the physical changes will be happening soon. I am using Billie now for my nickname, I am starting the paperwork for the legal changes my new name is Wilma Rickie Berry. My preferred pronouns at this stage is they/them/their but if that is uncomfortable and you want to use she/her I won’t object! So far everyone I have spoken to about this has been supportive and positive to me which has been awesome! My wife and I are still a couple and the marriage is going strong. My daughters are happy for me and we are still a family. If anyone would like to speak to me or has questions, please contact me. This is not just my lone journey, everyone who supports me is on this too. Love and virtual hugs!

Billie Berry

 

13 replies so far all positive, including from some unexpected. So ends the First Phase of coming out, now the Final Phase begins for the rest of my life, every time I am out in public living my real life. It will be nice if someday I am just seen for the real me, at this point of my life I don't believe so, but if that day does ever come to pass I will count it as a blessing!

 

Love and Hugs to All!

BillieB

Way to go!  Once you  push that snowball down the hill it grows pretty big, pretty fast.  Congrats on all the positive changes and progress.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations @BillieB! One milestone passed! May all the rest be just as rewarding!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Celebrating today! So far everyone has been very accepting and supportive, today I filed my paperwork with the court for name/gender change, my next milestone June 11 my hearing date! 
 

Love and hugs to everyone!

 

BillieB

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
10 hours ago, BillieB said:

Celebrating today! So far everyone has been very accepting and supportive, today I filed my paperwork with the court for name/gender change, my next milestone June 11 my hearing date!

@BillieB Huge milestone! Congrats to you! This will be the start of some very important changes. New ID’s, credit cards, legal docs changes, medical records, etc...and the list goes on. This is all exciting stuff. I am happy for you...enjoy the changes.?

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 116 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • Timi
    • marysssia
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...