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My Coming Out Journey


BillieB

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I know I am new to all of this, so I will keep a running dialogue on my coming out journey, I know we all have different journeys but maybe this can be enlightening to someone. I came out to my spouse almost as soon as I came out to myself. I then created my profile here. I have had my first therapy session and one of the things I told her I would need assistance with is my coming out. I have made my list, reviewed it modified it and now moving through my list. I had me eldest daughter stop by after work and had a very heartfelt and thorough talk with her with my spouse involved. My daughter was very understanding and receptive as I imagined. I also asked her her thoughts and telling her younger sister, the next person on my list. I also “came out” modified my Tumblr and game accounts with my new self, though those a fairly anonymous accounts. More to follow after my meeting with my younger daughter.

 

Love and hugs,

BillieB

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  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, BillieB said:

My daughter was very understanding and receptive as I imagined. I also asked her her thoughts and telling her younger sister, the next person on my list.

Congrats @BillieB on coming out to your daughter. It’s a scary and exciting time but it gets easier with time. Family and friend’s reactions can change slightly from their initial reaction as it does take some time to fully absorb internally how this will or will not affect them. I only mention it because it happened to me and can be a surprise on occasion. Overall it can be a wonderful experience. Eventually, you may even anxiously look forward to revealing your true self to others as it is so freeing to know they finally see the REAL YOU!

 

Best of Luck with the rest of your family,

Susan R🌷

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Vanessa Michelle

@BillieBso proud of you! That takes a lot of bravery to come out to family and you did it. Thanks for sharing with us as well. I find it encouraging and I know others here do too ❤️

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On 1/28/2021 at 8:41 PM, BillieB said:

My daughter was very understanding and receptive as I imagined.

   Kids these days are much more open and accepting than kids when either of us were younger. My kids are relatively young, the oldest only being 19, I don't know how old your kids are but mine are probably my biggest cheerleaders. I'm sure that your kids will prove the same.

 

On 1/28/2021 at 8:41 PM, BillieB said:

I also “came out” modified my Tumblr and game accounts with my new self

My game accounts (Steam, GOG, etc...) have pretty generic names already. My social media less so, but I'm impressed how quickly you've committed to doing that. I'm still deciding how I want to do that now that my 3 month anniversary is coming up next week. XD

 

Congratulations @BillieB on coming out!

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Hello @Drayse I am an oldster, my kids are in their 30’s, I have 4 grandchildren too. I agree the younger generations are much more receptive and accepting. I am just starting on this so as I get farther down this road it might get interesting. Being older though I also can weather some negativity if my core base support me, so I am taking my time coming out to family one by one so I can listen and answer any questions they may have.

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Jackie C.
1 hour ago, BillieB said:

I also can weather some negativity if my core base support me,

 

That's pretty much how I felt coming out. If my wife supports me, I don't care what anyone else thinks.

 

Hugs!

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Way to go!  Like Susan said, people often react one way at first then go through a processing time and react different through that process until they come out the other end. My kids were excited (they were 23 and 21 at the time) when I first told them, then the next day they struggled with some loss (no longer having a "dad") and then came back around to being excited.  I've had friends that were like "wow, that cool, I'm happy for you" and then a few weeks later have ghosted out of existence.

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Came out to one of friends from church(also one of my customers) she wasn’t surprised, she had picked up on some clues, she smiled and said she is happy for me and will be supportive but I also learned she is more my wife’s friend than mine. Overall a good day and one more off my list.

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  • 2 weeks later...

An Update! I have now come out to my youngest daughter and she was very understanding and supportive. I have come out to my Pastor who is very positive and supportive for me. I have come out to my chiropractor and one of my medical doctors, I will be coming out to the rest of my doctors as I come into contact with them. I have had two more marvelous therapy sessions, I have expanded my Coming Out list and set a timetable to try to get through it. I have my first session at the transgender clinic to discuss HRT on March 3rd and have set Sunday March 7th to complete my list! I expect to get some pushback or negativity eventually but so far everyone has been supportive, so I am flying high right now!

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AgnesBardsie
1 hour ago, BillieB said:

An Update! I have now come out to my youngest daughter and she was very understanding and supportive.

Brava! It’s one of the best feelings in the world Isn’t it? I imagined for a long time what this moment would be like for me. And now I’m finally having these conversations myself this week. So I can definitely relate to what you’re experiencing! Very excited for you.

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  • Forum Moderator

Very good Billie!!  It sounds like some positivity has come your way.  Good luck on the 3rd.

 

Jani

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  • 3 weeks later...
BillieB

An update! I have expanded my Coming Out list again am halfway through my list with a goal of finishing it before Easter. My wife has taken me on a couple of shopping trips and starting to build my wardrobe. I am doing my nails, although a subtle shade of polish for now. I currently only dress feminine when at home and switch to "boy mode" when I go out, I went out this Sunday in one of my feminine outfits (including bra and breast forms) to lunch with a friend who I have already come out to. Afterwards my wife and I went clothes shopping. Tomorrow is my first visit to the Transgender Clinic and am so excited!

 

Virtual hugs to All!

Billie

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BillieB

Today Monday March 8, I came out to another Church friend yesterday who was very supportive, even asked me for my pronouns and new name before I had a chance to inform him. I definitely will finish my list by Easter this year. And today is day 1 of HRT! The journey goes forward!

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  • 3 weeks later...
BillieB

So today March 28th I ended my first phase of coming out! I have contacted everyone on my coming out list, family, friends and church families. Everyone so far has been positive and supportive. To reach out to those I haven't contacted individually I posted this on Facebook: 

A Personal Announcement

Hello to all my family and friends, I hope all is well in your lives! I have a personal truth to reveal, some of you I have already reached out to personally with this. I am trans and have started my transition journey. I have been seeing a gender therapist for a few months and am starting my third week of HRT. I am announcing this publicly now because while it is early in my journey and I don’t have any real physical changes yet I will be living as my new self so you will notice my wardrobe is changing and the physical changes will be happening soon. I am using Billie now for my nickname, I am starting the paperwork for the legal changes my new name is Wilma Rickie Berry. My preferred pronouns at this stage is they/them/their but if that is uncomfortable and you want to use she/her I won’t object! So far everyone I have spoken to about this has been supportive and positive to me which has been awesome! My wife and I are still a couple and the marriage is going strong. My daughters are happy for me and we are still a family. If anyone would like to speak to me or has questions, please contact me. This is not just my lone journey, everyone who supports me is on this too. Love and virtual hugs!

Billie Berry

 

13 replies so far all positive, including from some unexpected. So ends the First Phase of coming out, now the Final Phase begins for the rest of my life, every time I am out in public living my real life. It will be nice if someday I am just seen for the real me, at this point of my life I don't believe so, but if that day does ever come to pass I will count it as a blessing!

 

Love and Hugs to All!

BillieB

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Bri2020
1 hour ago, BillieB said:

So today March 28th I ended my first phase of coming out! I have contacted everyone on my coming out list, family, friends and church families. Everyone so far has been positive and supportive. To reach out to those I haven't contacted individually I posted this on Facebook: 

A Personal Announcement

Hello to all my family and friends, I hope all is well in your lives! I have a personal truth to reveal, some of you I have already reached out to personally with this. I am trans and have started my transition journey. I have been seeing a gender therapist for a few months and am starting my third week of HRT. I am announcing this publicly now because while it is early in my journey and I don’t have any real physical changes yet I will be living as my new self so you will notice my wardrobe is changing and the physical changes will be happening soon. I am using Billie now for my nickname, I am starting the paperwork for the legal changes my new name is Wilma Rickie Berry. My preferred pronouns at this stage is they/them/their but if that is uncomfortable and you want to use she/her I won’t object! So far everyone I have spoken to about this has been supportive and positive to me which has been awesome! My wife and I are still a couple and the marriage is going strong. My daughters are happy for me and we are still a family. If anyone would like to speak to me or has questions, please contact me. This is not just my lone journey, everyone who supports me is on this too. Love and virtual hugs!

Billie Berry

 

13 replies so far all positive, including from some unexpected. So ends the First Phase of coming out, now the Final Phase begins for the rest of my life, every time I am out in public living my real life. It will be nice if someday I am just seen for the real me, at this point of my life I don't believe so, but if that day does ever come to pass I will count it as a blessing!

 

Love and Hugs to All!

BillieB

Way to go!  Once you  push that snowball down the hill it grows pretty big, pretty fast.  Congrats on all the positive changes and progress.

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Jackie C.

Congratulations @BillieB! One milestone passed! May all the rest be just as rewarding!

 

Hugs!

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