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I am sorry. I will introduce my self later. My son has been doing this.  He says that is the only way that he knows how to cry. He is doing good now but he spent a week in EPC. This is something that I do not understand.  

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OK, your son is the person doing some form of self harm if I understand you correctly.  I have a daughter that did this so I have some idea about it.  The crying and cutting (??) are both ways of relieving stress for some individuals.  There are many possible reasons why your child cannot let tears of either hurt or rage out. You don't say here if your son is Trans Masculine or not, but it really does not matter,  Counseling is definitely needed since in many cases the more normally thought of outlets have been blocked by the person or their environment.  For AMAB children it may be the "boys don't cry" trope that is frankly a pile of poopoo.  AFAB children, it can also come from incidents such as molestarion (not saying  AMAB children are immune to molestation), or in either gender when they have not been listened to or accepted for having feelings. 

Twenty years ago when my daughter (age 19 at the time) began cutting it, it was considered to be a suicide attempt and was treated like that in many areas.  Nebraska, whose flag you are flying may still consider it to be suicidal actions and treat that protocol.  In other areas such as mine, it is becoming understood better the way your child is describing.  It is a sign of depression that is out of the normal control of the child, (did I mention counseling?) that needs first aid care and some parental attention that is mostly listening.  Needless to say, both my daughter and I got and needed counseling (needed and got?) since I had to learn a few parenting skills I had not gotten right even as old as she was then, but it has helped immensely.  Good luck.

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He is in counseling. I know exactly where this came from.  I hope that he told his counselor. When he was really young he was spying on his mother who was cheating on me. He followed their sexual communications for two years before he confronted her and said that if she didn’t tell me he would kill him self. She told me. 

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His mother didn’t tell him or me everything. She was brutally raped and impregnated. The way that she hid it from me was being a total _____ and pushing me away. My youngest son is not mine and no one will ever tell him but he will know. He is just as smart as his mother and I am.  He is starting to study genetics in middle school school now.  The eye color instantly rules me out.  

Edited by Carolyn Marie
Inappropriate word deleted
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Carolyn Marie

Hello, Octavia.  I am sorry to hear about your son, and he does seem very troubled.  I;m glad he's in counseling and I hope he will see it through, with your support.  That is a very complex and difficult situation.  VickySGV provided some good advice from her own experience.  Trauma is difficult for adults to get through, and much more so for children.  I wish you and your son all the best and hope that you can post that intro for yourself.  We have many resources here for cross dressers and welcome your questions and comments.




Carolyn Marie

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, I have had two major bouts of self injury in my life, once as a teenager and again last summer. People do this for lots of different reasons. For people that don't self harm, it is very hard to understand. I would caution against trying to unravel it or understand it, or to even think that you know the reason. It is not always related to suicide but in my case it was - so it is important to be realistic and watch for that. Try to be supportive and ask how you can help. It's good he is in counseling. 

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