Coming out with Gusto

[Samantha2020]

I decided I should get hair cut today and saw my stylist.  I have known her for years and knew she would be excited when I told her about transitioning. It went better than expected and I got my hair shaped to work with face and she talked me into getting highlights.  I love the style and the look, however I am going to to go full-time now as I don't see my new hairstyle being to masculine. I think subconsciously I wanted this to happen to force me to face my fears on coming out.  Not sure how ready I am for this, but I always like to jump right in.  

 

On the plus side she is going to help me upgrade my wardrobe and go shopping with me.  She also has a part time gig selling clothing and invited me to browse the storage unit for anything I might need.  I also am going to met some other friends she has that are good with makeup.   What a crazy day!  I am going to be doing alot of coming out talks but that was going to have to happen anyway.  Has anyone else taken this approach to coming out? 

 

Later on this afternoon I had a doctor's appointment with a doctor I had not came out to.  I didn't say a word about being trans and the first question he asked was what my pronoun preference is and my preferred name.   I kind of like having people knowing I am trans without having to tell them.   

 

 

 

 

[Drayse]

2 hours ago, Samantha2020 said:

What a crazy day!  I am going to be doing alot of coming out talks but that was going to have to happen anyway.  Has anyone else taken this approach to coming out? 

No, my approach hasn't been that fast. For starters, I buzz cut my hair at the start of the pandemic for practically reasons. Though in hind sight might it have been a subconscious push back against the building dysphoria I had been suppressing again for the past couple of years? So my hair isn't quite where I want it to be before I get it styled, though I should be fully out at work by month's end regardless, if all goes according to plan. That will pretty much be the green light to begin living full time as my preferred gender.

 

Keep doing you, you're doing amazing!

[Jackie C.]

It sounds like someone had an amazing day! You're lucky to have friends like that. I'm more than two years in and I still need somebody to teach me makeup.

 

Hugs!

[Betty K]

10 hours ago, Samantha2020 said:

saw my stylist.  I have known her for years

 

This. Amazing! Some people have all the luck.

 

Oh and hi Samantha, nice to meet you. You go, girl.

 

 

[Samantha2020]

Yes I am extremely lucky to have her as a friend.  Emily helped me feel better about myself after my divorce and helped me over come some of my insecurities.  She talked me into growing my hair out from a buzz cut which I was fearful of doing because I thought I was too old.  Without her I doubt I would have ever felt good enough to live my life as the true person I am.  I think our friendship is deeper now and I feel more comfortable interacting with her now than I ever was before because I am no longer burdened with trying to be something I wasn't.   I am more excited now about this journey as I start to see things I saw as obstacles dissappear.

[Charlize]

You are looking great.  I too made that plunge.  I simply stopped wearing any male clothing and, as i am bald, made the decision to wear a wig during every waking hour.( not great at night?)   It was rough for a bit but was the right path for me.  Glad you have help.  I found that soon as many female friends seemed more than willing to accept me.  It turned out that in my case fear was the biggest obstacle.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KayC]

You look great! @Samantha2020 I think if we can find even just one Good Friend who will accept us and be there to support us in our journey, then we can consider ourselves very fortunate. 

I'm happy you have found that Friend ❤️

[Samantha2020]

Update. I spent this weekend coming out to my mom, sister, niece an ex wife (all my family).  Everyone has been accepting and understanding and supportive.  They all wanted to know why I didn't tell them sooner.  I think my need to please my father and have him be proud and love me prevented me from dealing with this until he passed.  My dad was transphobic and it would not have went well.  Hope he is handling it ok in the after life.  LOL. I now have lots of support even from my ex.  With COVID I could not see my mother in a assisted living so I sent her a letter and waited for a phone call. It worked well so I used the same letter when I came out to everyone else.  

 

Living full-time has definitely opened my eyes to what my new life will be like.  I have been to my dentist, eye doctor and oncologist as Samantha and it has gone well.  Can't wait to change my name and documents so I don't have to explain who I am but that is getting easier too.  Shopping has been fun and the ladies at my nail salon barely recognized me and gave compliments.  The only thing I have notice  is I still have times when I start to wonder if I am making a mistake and should be male again.  It really hit me when I started packing up my old clothes for donation.  Need room for my new wardrobe.  I am feeling like I may be grieving the loss of my male self and reconciling that that life is over.  I am happier now than I have been in a long time and I know I am going down the right path.  Just alot of change and the further I go the more concrete and permanent things are getting which is what l want but still scares me.  I think it is normal to feel this way but hope I don't feel this way everytime I accomplish a new goal.  

[Susan R]

Hi @Samantha2020, Congratulations on taking this important step further on your journey as your true self. You must feel the emotional freedom as the burden of suppression is lifted a little more each day.

 

Living full time is a big change but as you are finding...it’s a natural step in your progression. It becomes second nature very quickly as confidence in yourself grows. Great update!

 

I have to say, I really like the pic you included with your update. You have a striking resemblance to one of my three daughters. It’s absolutely uncanny. ?

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[SheenaT]

10 hours ago, Samantha2020 said:

Update. I spent this weekend coming out to my mom, sister, niece an ex wife (all my family).  Everyone has been accepting and understanding and supportive.  They all wanted to know why I didn't tell them sooner.  I think my need to please my father and have him be proud and love me prevented me from dealing with this until he passed.  My dad was transphobic and it would not have went well.  Hope he is handling it ok in the after life.  LOL. I now have lots of support even from my ex.  With COVID I could not see my mother in a assisted living so I sent her a letter and waited for a phone call. It worked well so I used the same letter when I came out to everyone else.  

 

Living full-time has definitely opened my eyes to what my new life will be like.  I have been to my dentist, eye doctor and oncologist as Samantha and it has gone well.  Can't wait to change my name and documents so I don't have to explain who I am but that is getting easier too.  Shopping has been fun and the ladies at my nail salon barely recognized me and gave compliments.  The only thing I have notice  is I still have times when I start to wonder if I am making a mistake and should be male again.  It really hit me when I started packing up my old clothes for donation.  Need room for my new wardrobe.  I am feeling like I may be grieving the loss of my male self and reconciling that that life is over.  I am happier now than I have been in a long time and I know I am going down the right path.  Just alot of change and the further I go the more concrete and permanent things are getting which is what l want but still scares me.  I think it is normal to feel this way but hope I don't feel this way everytime I accomplish a new goal.  

Exciting and scary. Best wishes and a bit of jealousy because I'm not transitioning at least not yet.

[Guest]

Oh my potato! that's so cool! congratulation ^^ I hope you'll always feel good and happy for the rest of your life!

awesome!