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How to get *that feeling* during quarantine....


justlauren

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What are you doing during Covid times to have fun and feel affirmed in your gender? I am non-binary and genderfluid, and not considering hormones or surgery. I am only halfway out even to my closest people, and I wasn't out at all before Covid. I want to lean into my masculinity in a way that, in normal times, would probably look like getting dressed up and going out to the bars. I wish I could experience anonymity, and because I am always around my partner, I feel... observed. I just want to go out and be perceived by strangers as what I am in the moment. Does this make sense to anyone else?? Anyone finding a way to get *that feeling* of carefree gender euphoria?

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5 hours ago, justlauren said:

I wish I could experience anonymity, and because I am always around my partner, I feel... observed. I just want to go out and be perceived by strangers as what I am in the moment. Does this make sense to anyone else?? Anyone finding a way to get *that feeling* of carefree gender euphoria?

I can understand the "observed" part. :Looks at partner:. Recently, been making Memes. Got a free app on my phone and am making inclusive memes to spread my thoughts as pictures setting adrift a message in a bottle to the digital seas. I also like to write poetry, but words aren't the same as photos. But now you take the two types of communication and merge them with pop culture or other cleaver knowledge of skilled experience, it's fun in a weird way.

I'm AFAB, but consider myself bigender,♀️&♂️. It can get really awkward describing how in what way I'm both, and feel like both simultaneously. At least memes are like an online Charades game and don't require words all the time.

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I wish I was brave enough to be able to try going out and being anonymous, that sounds great, just being outside and more actually me.

Been stuck inside a whole bunch, though, but my sister has been a great help. We've always been close and she's been super supportive of everything.

Just having our usual regular nights hanging out or doing stuff continue mostly like they were, but with the addition of stuff of me not insisting to myself that I don't have any interest in the fashion show she watches, the night we did each others' nails and watched some incredibly forgettable movie and random conversations about hair. I'm not nearly as feminine as she is, but just being about to approach that side of things and talk about it at all has been great, even if she's basically the only person to know so far.

Just not having to constantly worry about how masculine I'm not being and how feminine I could be seen as and just talking about being in the middle casually feels really great. Serious talks also happen and help, but there's something about just casually discussing androgynous things that feels liberating, almost.

 

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I've been thinking about a tattoo for a long time about how to express myself.

 

My problem is that I have a distinctly male body, except maybe my face, so how do I express myself?  I've been thinking about a feminine tattoo like the one I attached.

 

I don't want to be "observed" by cis-men, so if someone like that comments, I can say, It's just something I like.  If someone else asks, I can say that I'm non-binary or trans-feminine, however I'm feeling that day.  I would really rather just be invisible to cis-men (as a queer), so I don't know how to deal with that.  A lot more bravery required.

 

--Grace--

 

 

Vine-tattoo-8.jpg

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