Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What has been your biggest pleasant surprise?


Heather Shay

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

What has been your happiest moment since coming out. For me it has been my friends here AND the feeling that I have finally made the right decision and an easing of internal conflict.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I think my happiest moment is when my spouse said, "Yeah, I think I'm OK with it. These things happen. Besides, I like breasts." After I heard that, I knew I could do anything.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Jackie C. gosh does that sound wonderful - mine is not there yet - but I'm hopeful - she knows about it and my HRT and therapy and she can't help noticing the girls starting to grow and show....?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow! There have been so many wonderful moments since coming out it makes it very difficult to choose just one. If I have to...I’d have to say my wife accepting me as I am after thinking I may be homeless after revealing the real me. That still has me in the clouds.

 

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Susan R That must be an AMAZING feeling - my is slightly moving in the right direction and I pray she keeps moving and lets my out of my cage physically (I wear ladies clothes but mainly androgenous at best and my stepskids and grandkids don't know yet - something I also know you have issues with one but mainly have the joys now and I'm so happy for you in that regard).

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Shay said:

I pray she keeps moving and lets my out of my cage physically

Yeah, this is so common, Heather. Checking to make sure a spouse transitioning with you is still the same page is important. Transitioning couples may start out together but so sometimes they start moving along in the transition at different speeds. Keeping the pace is such a critical part of it all. It’s like talking a long walk with your partner and suddenly realizing they're 10 feet behind you. Transitions are very much the same way. If we move too fast, we can leave them behind.

 

I mention this because I thought about this analogy a few months ago while out on a walk with my wife. I seem to naturally walk faster than my spouse. Once or twice, I can remember finding myself several feet ahead and not paying attention to my pace. LOL, It’s so easy to get caught up in our own journey, we sometimes fail to look where our partner is.

 

Another great thread you started Heather!

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Susan R said:

Once or twice, I can remember finding myself several feet ahead and not paying attention to my pace.

 

Well, that's why you hold hands, right?

 

I can't help but notice there seems to be a running theme in this thread, "Acceptance from our significant others." Acceptance in general is great, but when it comes from the person most important to us in all the world? **Chef's Kiss** 

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

I can't help but notice there seems to be a running theme in this thread, "Acceptance from our significant others."

Yes, this is so true, Jackie! And when S.O.’s aren’t there for us, it can set back a transition years or even decades while we try to rethink, regroup and start again.

Link to comment

 

 

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 Acceptance in general is great, but when it comes from the person most important to us in all the world?

 

I agree 100% Jackie. No one has been more important to me in this than my spouse.

 

2 hours ago, Susan R said:

 Transitioning couples may start out together but so sometimes they start moving along in the transition at different speeds. Keeping the pace is such a critical part of it all. If we move too fast, we can leave them behind.

 It’s so easy to get caught up in our own journey, we sometimes fail to look where our partner is.

 

Much truth here Susan! I had to back up and go forward again a few times in the past year. God has helped me every step of the way.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment

I think the biggest pleasant surprise happened a couple of weeks ago.

 

 

On Facebook someone shared a fabulous photo of an owl from a facebook group. However, the original photographer had not been acknowledged and having had a number of my own photographs "stolen" and used by others in the past without any recognition I did a bit of research and eventually found the original author. I then found, joined and went back to the group where this photo had been shared from and set the record straight. I got into some discussions about that photo and realised that the group philosophy was very much aligned with my own in terms of the artistic and emotional aspects of image creation. So I started contributing to the group. 
Anyway - I've realised for a while that while I only spend part of my time as Niamh, I want during that time to be regarded with the same respect and treatment that any other woman should receive - and not just from the LGBTQ+ community. I need to be out there as Niamh in the same way I've always been out there as my male self, joining in things that interest me the same way they interest other people. 
So a few days ago, the group I had joined had a photo challenge - to post pictures of yourself Then and Now - to show yourself from many years ago and how you are now. I posted the photo below. Until now I've limited my Facebook involvements as Niamh to mainly Trans groups and associated friends so this was a bit of a leap of faith. I have been so amazed by the outpouring of affection and positive comments from so many people; a mix of people who have no alignment with the Trans community. While I had not been expecting any "problems", I was so pleasantly surprised and amazed at the response from the group. 
I think it's probably a reflection of the generally more tolerant mentality of those who embrace art in all its forms.

This is the photo - one half of which has already been shared on this site - I think you'll guess which!

 

NeilToNiamh.jpg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Niamh you look lovely!  

 

I can't say what was my biggest surprise as it would take some thinking.  (yes I'm challenged)

Early on when I was already retired my wife came home and asked why I wasn't dressed in my preferred clothing?  I told her I didn't want to move faster than she could (or would) absorb.  She said it was ok and she didn't mind.  After that I dressed daily in my preferred clothing.    

Link to comment
18 hours ago, Niamh said:


This is the photo - one half of which has already been shared on this site - I think you'll guess which!

 

 

Look at you. Cute as a button.?

I hope thats the right thing to say? Either way still cute.

 

I suppose one of my defining moments is when i got the letter from my gender clinic saying and i shall quote.

 

" I saw --Real name blanked out as its not really for the internet----in the gender clinic today. she has previously been seen by my Colleage Dr ---Blanked out again---- For a psychological assessment and he has confirmed her diagnosis of Gender dysphoria"

 

This was i suppose a defineing moment for me. As it officially confirmed what i already knew. But it was the fact i now had it in black and white on a piece of paper from 2 doctors that made it a pleasent surprise. from a psychologist and a  physician specialising in gender issues. Im not sure if surprise is the right word as i already was aware. I mean i had been living full time as they call it for 2 1/2 years before i even got to the clinic.

 

But I was actually over the moon when I read that letter. I think i even went out with my partner then my boyfriend and had a little celebration.

 

Surprise no. But a moment i will never forget Most certainly

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment

@Maid In Bedlam I can imagine the relief that must have provided to you. I'm so glad it has helped you to be where you need.

 

And can I add another surprise please. Yesterday evening after having a drink or two for courage, I finally informed the one family member who I had been dreading. He is an very right-wing nationalist and I'm sure his friends are likely to be homophobic and transphobic. I had imagined that despite our long friendship as cousins, he would be very negative to me telling him about my transgender status. 

 

As it turned out he was quite laid back about it and sympathised with the difficulty it had caused in my marriage. He assured me that while he was a bit shocked we would remain friends as ever.

 

This was a really nice surprise.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Niamh said:

As it turned out he was quite laid back about it and sympathized with the difficulty it had caused in my marriage. He assured me that while he was a bit shocked we would remain friends as ever.

 

Aww. I'm so very happy to hear that! Good on him!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Niamh said:

@Maid In Bedlam I can imagine the relief that must have provided to you. I'm so glad it has helped you to be where you need.

 

And can I add another surprise please. Yesterday evening after having a drink or two for courage, I finally informed the one family member who I had been dreading. He is an very right-wing nationalist and I'm sure his friends are likely to be homophobic and transphobic. I had imagined that despite our long friendship as cousins, he would be very negative to me telling him about my transgender status. 

 

As it turned out he was quite laid back about it and sympathised with the difficulty it had caused in my marriage. He assured me that while he was a bit shocked we would remain friends as ever.

 

This was a really nice surprise.

 

I have a cousin like that and it went the same way after some short intense discussion. Sometimes it is the ones you least expect that surprise you.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment
On 2/19/2021 at 6:13 AM, Jackie C. said:

I think my happiest moment is when my spouse said, "Yeah, I think I'm OK with it. These things happen. Besides, I like breasts." After I heard that, I knew I could do anything.

 

Hugs!

?

Link to comment

Mine was the reaction at work. I was terrified. I had told certain people in the office two years prior. It would feel like I was wearing a mask to work and peering through the holes so people wouldn't see the real me. Since telling my managers, they have almost pushed me to get on with it. I always hated my job, and they wanted to keep me by throwing more and more money in my direction. But being able to be myself was all  it took.  I guess no pay rise this year though lol.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Satisfaction outways money - don't get me wrong money is good but satisfaction is more than all the money in the world can buy. Hugs.

Link to comment

Gosh, My biggest pleasant surprise. So many to choose from.

Which category?  I mean like there are so many to cover here...get what I mean?

So about that time my amazon order actually fit. Yep that was nice.

Emmm, my first stimulus check...yep, bought 2 new dresses....

That night, late at night, that sound.....my stomach....

so I tip toe to the kitchen and....yes....both milk in the fridge and special k in the pantry....

This one will sound really weird ....  My wife and I covid shots. Expecting 2-4 hours and in an out in 30 minutes!!!!!!!!

So far this year....covid shot #1

Link to comment

I don't have a significant other so I did all this on my own. I've had a lot of pleasant experiences with it, but it was nice to have the support of work, family, and friends. Shopping for the clothes I wanted for the first time was exhilarating. Recieving the court order for my name was a very emotional time too.

Link to comment

Wow. So nice to meet you. I'm on a smaller spectrum, Make do with what I can, so to speak.

 

Link to comment

For me it's been the happiness that I feel now that I can finally be who I truly am. When I came out as trans, it was like the lights suddenly came on and I could see clearly. I just can't believe how bad I felt all this time before now.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 204 Guests (See full list)

    • Ivy
    • KathyLauren
    • Vidanjali
    • VickySGV
    • April Marie
    • Stefi
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
    • Mmindy
      You're welcome Sally,   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      This is a great analogy. The statement is true as it relates to the tree. The analogy fits because we as a LGBTQIA community are stronger when we stand together. It also work here on Transgender Pulse Forums. The support I feel from so many others has made me comfortable with my stance, because I'm in a beautiful forest of friends. So when I'm out alone and confronted. I can respond and act like the single tree in the field, surviving whatever comes my way. My roots reach back and communicate with others like me.    Standing Strong,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...