what to discuss with my gender therapist

[okubosakura]

So far I used telehealth. My gender therapist is in Elgin, IL and I am from Chicago, IL and went to 3 sessions online so far. And I am stuck. My gender therapist wanted me to start wearing girl clothes including panties and bra full time and at night and try lipstick, paint nails, try on perfume, but I cant because of my mom present in the house. I also got a release of info to my regular therapist so they can communicate to each other. How can I move forward with my gender therapist and I was told to my gender therapist that I have unlimited sessions. I also have not taken psychology 101 course.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, okubosakura said:

My gender therapist wanted me to start wearing girl clothes including panties and bra full time and at night and try lipstick, paint nails, try on perfume, but I cant because of my mom present in the house.

 

This is honestly a good idea. The feeling of gender euphoria I got from presenting as a woman was what sealed the deal for me. With the pandemic though, there's an extra layer of complication. I know a girl who used to present female when she was on sales trips for the company, but that doesn't sound like it's an option for you. So, let's look at your options.

 

You could straight up tell your mother what's going on. I don't know her or how she'd react though. I know how my mother reacted (it wasn't good) but my mother is terrible. Hopefully yours is a better human being.

 

You could keep your stash at the home of an understanding friend. Visit your friend for girl time.

 

You could keep it to yourself in your room (assuming you have a private place in the house, I don't know how you live). I have a friend who cross-dressed extensively while they lived with their parents. They never got caught despite raiding their sister and mother's closets. I should point out that they had a stay-at-home mom.

 

You could move out. I don't know your situation though, you might need to take care of your ailing parent or not have the financial means because the economy is poor.

 

You could wait for your parent to leave this mortal coil. You would be far from the first trans-girl who waited until their parents were gone before pursuing their transition.

 

Which of those appeals to you? There's probably something I missed but do any of those ideas sound like something you could do? I recommend the first one if you can. A good parent would see that their child is hurting and be ready to help them heal. Again, I'm not as familiar with your situation as you are, but I prefer honesty whenever possible. Sneaking around just adds another layer of stress.

 

Hugs!

[Carolyn Marie]

I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting through to your GT.  It's important to remember that they work for you, you don't work for them.  Your therapist needs to really understand what's going on at home, respect that, and give advice accordingly.  I'm assuming you've told your therapist what you're telling us.  Have you discussed with the GT what your goals are for therapy?  Have they asked?  What are your goals, hon?

 

The two of you need to be on the same page, or these sessions may not be successful or helpful.  All I can say is to be totally honest with them, including what you want out of the sessions.  Perhaps then you can move forward, as much as is possible with the restrictions you have at home.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Jani]

@okubosakura I agree with my friends advice here.  I understand it is tough.  

 

You certainly need to have this discussion with your therapist and these sessions are yours.  You are looking to move forward in life which is why you reached out to them.

 

All my best.

Jani