Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Breaking the Ice About Transsexuality


Delcina B

Recommended Posts

Delcina B

This is wonderful, it describes me. I remember when I was 10 my mom found some tights in my bed. She didn't confront me, but I knew she found them. When I saw her telling my dad I made sure they saw me all macho splitting wood. I'm not a square or a circle, maybe a diamond that fits in both, or maybe a circle shaped like a square.

 

Originally posted by Guest Leah1026

Quote

Transsexuality 101

What is a transsexual?

For simplicity, a transsexual is a person whose inner sense of gender identity and brain patterns are completely the opposite of what physical form they are born into. This is a recognized medical condition which is completely unrelated to sexuality or sexual preference at all, but unfortunately society sees only brazen gay and bisexual people out there using gender bending to express their sexuality and assumes this is what transsexuals are too. A real transsexual has no more in common with a drag queen, gay or bisexual person than they do with a chimpanzee! They have a deep basic incongruity between their inner identity and their physical form which can only best be expressed as something which is within their very soul. Transsexuality occurs in equal numbers across born male and born female people. Estimates are that approximately 1 in 30,000 people are born with the condition.

 

How does this happen?

There are many things known today through years of research, though no one single absolute cause has been quantified as of yet. It is almost universally believed that during the formation of the fetus in utero, a hormonal imbalance affects the development of the body sex characteristics in a way that is misaligned with the core gender brain wiring. The brain "gender identity" is determined very early on in the fetal growth process, though the messages of an incorrect hormone balance sent to the developing fetus’ body, redirects the "intended" natural development to the wrong physical gender. Once born, while growing up the body’s own hormone generators then further the physical discrepancy - especially once puberty arrives. Unique chormosonal or genetic influences are also possible contributing factors that are being researched as additional contributing components to the phenomenon. It is very important to understand that no two things in nature are alike - there is no black and white bipolar scheme in life, and random types of birth development happen in all species, including transsexuality. Much more common birth development variations include Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome , Klinefelter Syndrome , being Intersexed , or Gender Mosaic.

Transsexuality is not hereditary, and a person cannot not just "become" transsexual one day. As an extremely complex birth condition the situation is simply a variable in nature and there is nothing and no one to blame. It can actually be a very enlightening, even religious experience about the nature of the universe and humanity far beyond simple primative bi-polar sociological models. Most transsexuals are acutely aware of something feeling incorrect from a very early age but lack the ability to approach the issue. Transsexuality is not contagious, a "demon" or a cult into which someone can be enticed into - one cannot "catch" it, or turn into it...one is simply born transsexual. It occurs across all races, socioeconomic classes, religions, and childhood family upbringings, and has been documented throughout history for thousands of years...many cultures even have revered or worshipped them for having extraordinary vision and wisdom. Transsexuals are actually very good, intelligent, family loving people who are valuable, creative and productive members of society when given the opportunity to flourish without oppression.

 

How could someone want "that" surgery?

The person with transsexuality eventually must learn to accept their situation if they are to survive happily in self congruity, and not be rendered incapacitated by depression and other co-morbid mental health problems out of frustration and despair. They often have worked very hard at being everything they could for everyone else but no matter how hard they try, they always come up feeling empty and unfulfilled because they are still not whole. These feelings magnify over time until eventually the individual is overwhelmed in dysphoria. They may have tried to live in a role and style that is incongruous for a long, long time until it finally becomes unbearable… this can become a critical life threatening time for the transsexual. To simply try to even live in some sort of duality or "alternative lifestyle" without true physical and social alignment is to just continue the intolerable hypocrisy of a masquerade in a different form, still being something they are not. The ultimate goal is to be truthful and completely real unto themselves as their true gender identity dictates. The only real option left then becomes the social process of transitioning to their correct gender and also the medical process of hormone therapy and surgery. Physical pain and expenses become completely insignificant in comparison to the prospects of having to endure living life in a false way any longer.

 

The Life Experience of a Transsexual.

A person with transsexuality will almost always go through many devastating and long stages of fear, guilt, anger, shame, self loathing and emotional distress throughout their life as a result of the incongruity. They know that they will also likely face fear, hatred, prejudice, violence and rejection – sometimes even from those they may love or respect most. No one wants or chooses to have this happen to them, so as a result transsexuals typically live seriously disrupted lives tangled in deep inner emotional conflict. They must go through a very long difficult process of getting beyond their internalized conflicts and societal pressures by learning to finally accept that this is just who they are, and these are the cards they have been dealt in life. It is then that they realize they must play it out to the best of their ability to achieve congruity, for their own health and well being.

Often those with transsexuality will attempt almost anything in the world to avoid facing their fears and unavoidable situation, including super-human macho activities or careers, marriage, family, extreme creative endeavors or even turn to religion, drugs or alcohol to escape. Sooner or later though, if they have survived this far they will find that these things did not work and they must face yet another even greater battle with their transsexual "demon". The fear of facing the issue can instill an emotional paralysis that can be difficult if not impossible to shake. It is then that they must seek professional assistance to gain some kind of movement in their situation. There is an immense amount of deep inner personal work ahead for someone who reaches this point, many unfortunately, never make it. If they do, they come to realize that the "demon" was an internally fabricated myth woven out of fear of change, emotion, insecurity and social pressure - It was never even really there at all. As US President F.D.Roosevelt. put it - "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts"

 

The Final Freedom.

Once the transsexual person has overcome their fears, guilt and shame and accepted themselves and learned to feel self worth, happiness and inner pride, with proper guidance they will move forward through transition and on to establish new lives in the properly aligned role. The period of time can be short sometimes for very young transsexuals who can't find coping skills in life or are less affected by social "role" pressures to conform to - or it can take years, even decades to unfold. The path can be a treacherous, painful, expensive, lonely and emotional one but it can be done successfully with the highly rewarding end result of rising above the flames of their torment and dysphoria like a Phoenix from the ashes.

To just feel "normal" is something almost everyone takes for granted in life - For the person afflicted with transsexuality, it is the Holy Grail.

Once an individual passes through the processes involved, wholeness of being is achieved and the person can transcend their past medical condition and live a balanced, normal life.

 

Sourcehttps://web.archive.org/web/20060508175534/http://dazzled.com/igirl/ts101.htm

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Admin

This is one explanation to be sure, there are others equally as informative that are also good explanations.  The term Transsexual is thought of a little too exclusively as the top and only goal of people with Gender Dysphoria.  People with lesser degrees of the conditions described  are also Trans People who are fully as much a part of the Gender Diversity Community.  In other words while good and applicable to you, Transsexual is not the only term for the same set of Identity differences from Cis people.

Link to post
On 2/22/2021 at 6:18 PM, Delcina B said:

This is wonderful, it describes me. I remember when I was 10 my mom found some tights in my bed. She didn't confront me, but I knew she found them. When I saw her telling my dad I made sure they saw me all macho splitting wood. I'm not a square or a circle, maybe a diamond that fits in both, or maybe a circle shaped like a square.

 

Originally posted by Guest Leah1026

 

 

 

So so true!

Link to post
On 2/22/2021 at 7:04 PM, VickySGV said:

This is one explanation to be sure, there are others equally as informative that are also good explanations.  The term Transsexual is thought of a little too exclusively as the top and only goal of people with Gender Dysphoria.  People with lesser degrees of the conditions described  are also Trans People who are fully as much a part of the Gender Diversity Community.  In other words while good and applicable to you, Transsexual is not the only term for the same set of Identity differences from Cis people.

I never saw myself in the same category as drag queens etc.

Link to post
gina-nicole-t

@SheenaT Much like yourself I knew I was different when I young also. My problem was transgender wasn't a word when I was young. Gay people were having a real difficult time just getting rights because of President Regan's open hostility towards them. If transgender was a term it was not in the mid-west where I grew up, and if there are transgender people that live there I am sure they face hostility to this day there. This is why I moved away, and will never return to that part of the world. The religious hostility, the people that use religion to be hostile to the LGBTQ people in that area. 

I am so glad now that I will now be able to live my life openly and freely. March 4 I am having my FFS and BA and I know that will make a huge difference in my life. 

Regards, 

Gina 

Link to post
1 hour ago, gina-nicole-t said:

@SheenaT Much like yourself I knew I was different when I young also. My problem was transgender wasn't a word when I was young. Gay people were having a real difficult time just getting rights because of President Regan's open hostility towards them. If transgender was a term it was not in the mid-west where I grew up, and if there are transgender people that live there I am sure they face hostility to this day there. This is why I moved away, and will never return to that part of the world. The religious hostility, the people that use religion to be hostile to the LGBTQ people in that area. 

I am so glad now that I will now be able to live my life openly and freely. March 4 I am having my FFS and BA and I know that will make a huge difference in my life. 

Regards, 

Gina 

Happy for you. I only dream of moving forward 

Link to post
On 2/23/2021 at 12:18 PM, Delcina B said:

A real transsexual has no more in common with a drag queen, gay or bisexual person than they do with a chimpanzee!

 

Hi Dulcina, nice to meet you and I'm very happy you've found words that describe you so aptly.

 

I just wanted to point out, though, that this sentence is inaccurate. It's definitely possible for a transgender (or transsexual) person to be either gay or bisexual, since transgender people, like all people, can inhabit any part of the sexuality spectrum.

Link to post
Delcina B

Thanks Betty, great to meet you too! Just beginning this chapter of my life, I guess you could call it an awakening? As for the sexuality part, that chapter has yet to be written, a blank canvas if you will.

Link to post
1 hour ago, Delcina B said:

As for the sexuality part, that chapter has yet to be written, a blank canvas if you will.

 

That sounds exciting! I think it's best not to be too rigid in our thinking about sexuality. I know from experience it can surprise you.

 

Link to post
Delcina B

It's a bit overwhelming coming to realize and accept this is me. This woman that is me isn't an abhorrent being as societal norms would have us think, but a beautiful person. It's been exhilarating thus far, so exciting is quite possible. 

Link to post
4 hours ago, Delcina B said:

It's a bit overwhelming coming to realize and accept this is me.

 

I know exactly what you mean Delcina. I'm not even sure what is the "me" I need to accept yet! I'm trying to work that out now. But one thing I can accept, and I think I am accepting, is my sexuality. The gender part is a little more confusing.

Link to post
Delcina B

At times I want to rush & do it all right now, but I think if I let myself grow like a flower I will turn out like I'm meant to. A rose only blooms overnight in fairy tales.   

Link to post
1 hour ago, Delcina B said:

At times I want to rush & do it all right now, but I think if I let myself grow like a flower I will turn out like I'm meant to. A rose only blooms overnight in fairy tales.   

I totally want to just go and do it all too. When you have hidden and denied yourself for your whole life the thought of finally being congruent is overwhelming. 

Link to post
On 2/24/2021 at 4:27 PM, gina-nicole-t said:

@SheenaT Much like yourself I knew I was different when I young also. My problem was transgender wasn't a word when I was young. Gay people were having a real difficult time just getting rights because of President Regan's open hostility towards them. If transgender was a term it was not in the mid-west where I grew up, and if there are transgender people that live there I am sure they face hostility to this day there. This is why I moved away, and will never return to that part of the world. The religious hostility, the people that use religion to be hostile to the LGBTQ people in that area. 

I am so glad now that I will now be able to live my life openly and freely. March 4 I am having my FFS and BA and I know that will make a huge difference in my life. 

Regards, 

Gina 

Transgender wasn't a word for me either. If only I had known, I NEVER WOULD HAVE MARRIED! Transition would have been my goal. It is so hard to think of transitioning now with so much to lose. Home,job, family, friends.  I must say I am closer to being willing to say goodbye to it all.

Link to post
gina-nicole-t

@SheenaT Well I have lost my biological parents due to my transition, which is fine with me. They really didn't speak to me in the first place, and much less with the pandemic. I was fortunate to not have married my ex-fiancé. We do share a daughter, but she is much closer to me than her mom even though I am half the country away from her. I never though I would make it to my transition. I just thought I would go on being a depressed man until I died. Now I am seeing the light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I wish you the best. I know losing your family, marriage, home, are huge concerns. If you do say goodbye to it all you will make new friends that you can count on, someone that will love you for you, and you will be leaving toxic people behind that are only holding you back. I hope to find someone someday. 

Warmest regards, 

Gina 

Link to post
2 hours ago, gina-nicole-t said:

@SheenaT Well I have lost my biological parents due to my transition, which is fine with me. They really didn't speak to me in the first place, and much less with the pandemic. I was fortunate to not have married my ex-fiancé. We do share a daughter, but she is much closer to me than her mom even though I am half the country away from her. I never though I would make it to my transition. I just thought I would go on being a depressed man until I died. Now I am seeing the light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I wish you the best. I know losing your family, marriage, home, are huge concerns. If you do say goodbye to it all you will make new friends that you can count on, someone that will love you for you, and you will be leaving toxic people behind that are only holding you back. I hope to find someone someday. 

Warmest regards, 

Gina 

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Link to post
12 hours ago, gina-nicole-t said:

@SheenaT Well I have lost my biological parents due to my transition, which is fine with me. They really didn't speak to me in the first place, and much less with the pandemic. I was fortunate to not have married my ex-fiancé. We do share a daughter, but she is much closer to me than her mom even though I am half the country away from her. I never though I would make it to my transition. I just thought I would go on being a depressed man until I died. Now I am seeing the light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I wish you the best. I know losing your family, marriage, home, are huge concerns. If you do say goodbye to it all you will make new friends that you can count on, someone that will love you for you, and you will be leaving toxic people behind that are only holding you back. I hope to find someone someday. 

Warmest regards, 

Gina 

🤗

Link to post
lauraincolumbia
On 2/22/2021 at 9:18 PM, Delcina B said:

This is wonderful, it describes me. I remember when I was 10 my mom found some tights in my bed. She didn't confront me, but I knew she found them. When I saw her telling my dad I made sure they saw me all macho splitting wood. I'm not a square or a circle, maybe a diamond that fits in both, or maybe a circle shaped like a square.

 

Originally posted by Guest Leah1026

 

 

 

This is so familiar!  If you had said nylons instead of tights, then I might have written this.

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   9 Members, 0 Anonymous, 80 Guests (See full list)

    • JennaLSinclair
    • KathyLauren
    • AmberM
    • Beatriz
    • JustKate
    • Jandi
    • Jackie C.
    • Shay
    • Carolyn Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      73,766
    • Total Posts
      681,084
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,316
    • Most Online
      8,356

    myteethareshiny
    Newest Member
    myteethareshiny
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (15 years old)
    2. JJ
      JJ
      (74 years old)
    3. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (41 years old)
  • Posts

    • Shay
      @Jackie C. always get a smile with your verbiage.
    • Jackie C.
      Yes. I see my therapist every week and we talk about my issues in general. While she's not specifically a gender therapist, she's an ally. With her help, I've made great strides in going from an angry bung-hole to, well, me.   Hugs!
    • Taylor_The_Human
      Who is that in the mirror? Is that me..? No, oh no it couldn't be. For I'm a girl but is that who I want to be..? I don't even know who I am.  I frown yet in that frame I smile. This thought drives me insanely wild.  Is it me or is it not..? I cannot tell, everyone calls me her or she. But, what if that's not really me? What if I'm not a girl?  If I told them all these feelings would I still be apart of their world? Everyday the same old lie convincing myself to be her. I put a mask on as I pass those I love by grinning ear from ear. While entrapped is this boy, begging to have a walk outside. This charade is permanent I fear, unless someone sinister were to hear. I pretend and pretend that it's okay, As I watch myself fade away. Wear this, put that jewelry on. The same commands I hear and hear. While I always find myself in tears. No one cared no one did, so this "girl" committed. She had a plan, scary but true she killed herself to be the girl her family always wanted her to.  
    • VickySGV
      I wish I was seeing some numbers when they say "increase" but the heading is a bit misleading which I think our "concern trolls" will grab like a jelly doughnut.  In line with the study, my blood pressure has entered the "well controlled" stage that my medical team feels proud of.  It is good information for our doctors, but we need to keep it away from our H8ers.
    • KymmieL
      @Willow are suggesting that I be  an adult.  I don't wanna be a dult.  LOL.  I do agree with you.  I should just call.    Well good  new for my weekend.  My youngest is working days. So, its Kymmie time again.  Hopefully I will be able to get to my VA appointments. I will be going as Kymmie yeah.  Hope the stupid white crap stays away.    Hugs, Kymmie 
    • VickySGV
      Pornography, especially the pictures of women in the nude, and even involved in sex action do show nice looking women in them who are presented with overtones of sexuality. As part of my career in business law enforcement I met some of them from time to time.  The same women also modeled for "non-porn" magazines and looked just a good without the sexual connotation and were just as beautiful in clothing and just as interesting to me as role models in those cases as the porn.  Cis males are looking at them in either place with the sexual connotation, I was not.  A role model is only effective when the role is one you find you must take on and you get them AFTER you decide it is for you, even if it is slight and hidden from your conscious world.  Porn gave you some idea of how you want to be, but did not INFECT you with being Trans.
    • Natalie99
      Yes, you are right. Gender comes from deep inside. Thank you for your answer, girl!
    • Natalie99
      My dear, Please don't do it! Suicide is never a solution. Try to find something that gives you hope. A childhood dream, a hobby, anything that you can imagine and will make you feel less stressful. E. g. reading a book, writing a story or a poem, listening to or playing music, doing sport, cooking, watching movies series anything. I know that it is really hard to fight these thoughts and depression. But it can be better! Sometimes life is a roller coaster, but you will eventually go upwards. Control your life, don't let your thoughts control you.
    • Mary Jane
      yay! 🙂 and I'm not necessarily more outgoing online but i am less shy and your welcome ^^
    • Taylor_The_Human
      Yeah, I agree It usually feels awkward sometimes..! I'm hoping it won't here though. I'm 14, but soon to be 15, I'm really shy usually, but it doesn't always seem so when online. I've tried making friends before but they've all turned out to be people I shouldn't associate with or just weren't great people... I agree a relationship of ANY sort requires effort from both people. If anything I'm more outgoing online but that's the only difference between how I interact in person. 🙂 And I'm will to get to know you if that's cool. Thanks!   -Taylor.
    • Mary Jane
      we could be friends im 17 now by the way and me too for being shy i dont seem like it now but i am and im typing here because for everyone ive tried and gotten a friend (3 times) its never really felt like an actual friendship maybe some kind of friendship but in comparison for how it feels, my current real life best friend VS every other wellll every other has felt like weaker and its never really worked out that long   Im also typing here because I've tried before but all the other people dont even try back and a friendship needs both people working or is it really a friendship? for me no even if its online only, which ive found most people usually treat it differently than real life but i try to not treat it differently
    • LusciousTheLock
      I'm on my third counsellor. She's admitted to taking a different approach to me as we come from similar backgrounds and we have a scary way of understanding each other. She reminds me of the little lady in the film Poltergeist!  Cow, can read minds!!! Knows everything about me, what I'm thinking or if I'm lying. I've spent sessions where I've been shouted at for an hour, and others where we've chatted about random stuff, laughing like old friends.   Its been three years and I can honestly say I wouldn't be here without her pushing me along when I've faltered and opening my mind to new ideas and learning to accept who I am.
    • JustKate
      I think you have to look at it from another perspective and your thoughts.   Would a cis guy see attractive women in porn and think "I could be a woman"? I mean I'm sure they have some sexual fantasies about being a lesbian for a day. But, when all is said and done, they want to be a man.   I do know that quite a common fantasy amongst the trans women I know before they transitioning was to be a "sissy" and liked porn like that.   Do I think it could change someone's gender impression? Maybe at surface level, but deep down, cis people want to be cis even if they have periods of time where they are influenced by outside issues.
    • Natalie99
      I'm sorry to hear that. Do not feel guilty! You were really brave to come out. You don't deserve to be called a liar. It is not like you have cheated on them or something!   However, understand that it is shocking for them, as others have said before. They experience grief of a loss one. But I recommend you to focus on your emotions, and that you are beginning your new life - the one that you deserve.   I also recommend watching this video. (And her other videos too, she explains stuff really well.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pfZyR-34-g
    • Taylor_The_Human
      Oh that's great news! Thank you so much!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...