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Another big girl step.


HollyElizabeth

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OK, so I’m about to take another big step, I picked up my name change forms today. I filled them out and they are ready to be turned in. I’m not going to lie, I’m both scared and nervous. This is a huge step in my transition, it’s the legal birth of Holly and the death of who I used to be. You may think I’m overreacting, but to me this is a really scary step. To me this is the death of the male me and the legal birth of who I am. 
 

I've always known this was going to happen sooner or later, but until now I never thought about it, not really. Well I guess when I go to turn in the forms, it will be my new reality. 
 

XOXO Holly (legally now). 

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1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

You may think I’m overreacting, but to me this is a really scary step. To me this is the death of the male me and the legal birth of who I am.

Yep, it’s a big step but it is a commitment to moving forward as Holly. It also will make all your next steps that much easier. You’re not overreacting...I had thoughts similar to yours when I changed my name legally. Although, it was actually harder for my wife than me. My wife was all tears leaving the courthouse but she knew I needed to do it.  We knew I was never going to use my dead name again. Also, it was really a nice experience to get all the new ID’s and see the new name (and gender on certain ID’s). I think you’ll feel the same way after it’s all completed.

 

Wonderful news, Holly!

Susan R?

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Congratulations @HollyNoel! This is a big step, but I think it's an important one. Another step on the road to presenting as your authentic self!

 

Hugs!

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Congratulation @HollyNoel. Now you got me thinking about it. Mine's based around this next stimmy check. As I anxiously watch it's progress through the government the reality is starting to sink in. Omg I'm doing this.

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I definitely don't think you're overreacting. That's a big public change and I know I'd be terrified at it myself, I'm scared at way less.

When you actually do it and see and hear how much more actually you you've just become, it's a wonderful feeling, but actually taking those steps is hard and scary, so respect and congratulations, Holly.

 

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Thank you girls. Today instead of taking the papers in, I've been procrastinating. I want to say that I didn't do this because of a reason that means nothing, but in reality, I think its because I'm terrified. This isn't a change to be taken lightly. It'd something that's going to affect me for the rest of my life. I talked to my therapist today and she said that she can understand why I'm hesitating about doing this. She says this has got to be done when I'm ready, I can't be forced or talked into doing this. Sh said this is the equivalent of the caterpillar going into the cocoon and coming out the butterfly. Shes right, I want this but I also don't know if I'm quite ready to say goodbye to that part of me.

 

@ElizabethStar I was going to wait until the stimulus, but I found out I could apply for a hardship waver of the fee. I can't think of anyone that's had a harder hardship than us girls. And lets be honest, a judge may not grant me the waver, though as mom says, I am on disability, so I don't have any disposable money to spend. So that might go in my favor.

 

I really need to turn in these papers. My mom says it's a scary step but if I can publicly come out as trans, this shouldn't be that much of a problem. I know, I know. That comes from a woman that refuses to say I'm pretty or cute. I'm so confused by her. One time she backs me and the next she says hurtful things. I LOVE YOU ALL!

 

XOXO Holly (Soon to be legally, I hope!)

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Oh, my endocrinologist keeps asking me about how the legal name change is going. I think hes worried that I'm not actually trans, that I'm just a guy that wants a girls body and not a life as I truly am, as Holly. To be honest, I'm kinda glad he is pushing, at least I have someone pushing me to do the things I should be doing. I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to this stuff. My family isn't helping me on this front. My mom hates that I've decided to transition, I keep telling her that It's not a choice, it's something I have to do for my sanity.  If I could just get my endocrinologist to give me progesterone to help with my development. I'm going to ask him again, make it a "Tit for a That" kinda thing. lol

 

Love you girls!

 

XOXO Holly, (hopefully legally soon).

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14 hours ago, Maddee said:

Holly Noel sorry.

 

I'm not going post here if I can't do it right the first time

Sweetie, I don't mind how you post as long as you post whats in your heart. I will never be offended.

 

XOXO Holly.

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Well in the typical me that I am, I haven't taken the step to drop off the paperwork. I know, I know, There is nothing that's going to happen except I will officially be Holly Elizabeth. I know this is something I want to do, need to do, have to do, it's just that other than coming out publicly as Holly, and getting bottom surgery, this is a huge step.

 

I will do this in the morning, I have a doctors appointment at 8:45 and 11:15, I told myself no more putting it off. Once I drop the paperwork then it's out of my hands and all I have to do it be Holly if I get approved. And there is no reason I shouldn't be approved.

 

Thank you @SheenaT.

 

XOXO Holly )Hopefully soon).

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Congratulations! I did mine just a week ago. I keep running into things I need to send my paperwork off for too. Yes It's terrifying. I'm awaiting HR to change my company email, so everyone Calls me Tamsyn, but emails James. Then there are others who knew as James and hadn't yet met the new me and my signature confuses the hell out of them.

 

I'm a transport manager with 98 drivers and realised I signed all 98 driver record books this week with my old name :( Guess its time and practice. Also had a wobble day, where I had to climb in and under lorries so little point Tamsyn coming into work. I was actually pleased I got told off for it, for not being true to myself. Work have been very supportive.

 

Slow and steady :D

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Thank you Tamsyn, I want to make sure I get your name correct. :)

 

Well I did it, I turned in my forms and I received my court case number. I have huge butterflies in my stomach all bumping around in there letting me know that I'm so much more closer to legally being Holly Elizabeth. I was at the window turning in my forms and talking to the woman when I heard someone yell across the room shout "Holly, you've really changed!". It made me turn around and the woman at the window started laughing. She said they were talking to a different Holly in Criminal. I told her I didn't know and I thought they were talking to me. lol

 

I about said yeah, Holly has really changed. lol

 

Anyway, I'm so close to being who I am, I can't wait, it's been far too long.

 

XOXO Holly!

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Thats brilliant!  I brought donuts into work and had bit of a party. Would have had drinks, but the UK is in lockdown. A new birthday to remember too :D

 

In the UK, we change our name by Deed Poll and two friends acted as witnesses. I was surprised how easy it was, but now I have to contact so many different people about the change and pass over copies of the certificate (I signed 5 originals). Been trying to call my doctors for two days, but constantly engaged. The exciting one will be my drivers licence, with new photo xx

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I agree, a new birthday. I've never changed my name so I'm not sure whats involved other than going in front of a judge, then taking a ad in the local paper telling everyone you've changed your name for 6 weeks, I guess its like a adult birth announcement. Pay the filing fee and you are who you say you are. Then you have to change your social security card, drivers license, change your name at all the places you do business with, like banks, and utility companies.

 

I plan to only tell the places I want to know. Everyone else that sends me junk mail can get sent to the "Not At This Address" file at the post office. Those people can eat my butt. lol.

 

XOXO Holly!

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In my state anyway it's basically the same as a woman changing her name to reflect her marital status. Most of the docket the day I had my name changed was other women getting theirs done for one reason or another. I swore I wasn't doing it for nefarious purposes and they rubber-stamped me and sent me downstairs for paperwork. Quick and really painless.

 

Hugs!

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@Jackie C. I hope mine goes that quick and easy.

 

When I got home after dropping the papers off, I told mom what I did and I looked at her and said I wouldn't ask her to go with me to my court date because I know she doesn't approve of my transitioning. I meant it, some of the stuff shes said and some of the way shes acted towards me, she doesn't get to share this event in my life. I love her and I would die for her, but this is reserved for people that actually support me in this part of my life.

 

XOXO Holly!

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On my court date, I was supposed to meet my attorney. He was playing the time-table a lot more fast-and-loose than I was comfortable with. I waited for him for... oh, maybe five minutes past when the court office was open to dash upstairs and get my paperwork under control. There was NO possible way that I was delaying a second more than I had to so I could make sure everything went smoothly. Probably a good thing that I did. My case was called third in line and the bailiff escorted me out the door before my attorney managed to get to the courtroom. I had my ducks in a row as soon as humanly possible and I was not going to screw up my chances by tasking the judge or misbehaving in any way.

 

It was surprisingly tense now that I'm thinking about it, but I had everything I needed in my briefcase and ready to go well in advance.

 

I did get too many copies of my name change certificate, but hey, now I can lose up to three before I have to request additional copies from the court. Also, requesting photocopies from the court is an absolute racket. You don't need more than MAYBE two copies. Most places will accept photocopies now instead of insisting on the original.

 

Hugs!

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@Jackie C. Will I need a lawyer for this? Can I handle this myself? And yeah I really don't want to make the judge have to work harder than he/she has too. I don't know whether the judge is going to be a man or a woman. This will be the very first time I've ever been in a courtroom. So far I've been a good girl.. lol.

 

Great! now I'm really nervous about this name change thing. lol.  I hope this goes smoothly, I don't need any hiccups with this thing.

 

XOXO Holly!

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No, you don't need a lawyer. I have one that works with trans-people getting their names changed pro-bono through the Trans-Legal Defense Fund. I can ask him questions about trans-related stuff, but I managed all of it with just the "how-to" packet I got from UofM.

 

The TLDef coverage is spotty though. I can't say if you have a lawyer in your area. It's still a great resource for legal stuff.

 

https://www.transgenderlegal.org/

 

Hugs!

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Congratulations Holly Noel!"  Getting my name changed was a huge step and like you fear was part of that process.  I represented myself at court and despite that fear it went very well.  When the judge lived his head to ask why i wanted a name change it was so obvious he hesitated.  Then and anti climatic "motion approved".

As a funny aside a woman asked me if i could represent her before the hearing.  I guess my suit and brief case looked pretty good.

Since that time i've found fewer and fewer pieces of mail coming to him.  That he still gets any mail is annoying but understandable.  I do get a kick out of telling telephone sales people that he no longer lives here.

Enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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I received my first mail as Tamsyn today. It was a registered post / parcel. He asked if Tamsyn could sign, and so I did. It was my new glasses. I never bought female glasses before as I felt too ashamed as James to do so, but now I feel even more complete and comfortable :)

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