Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Another big girl step.


HollyElizabeth

Recommended Posts

OK, so I’m about to take another big step, I picked up my name change forms today. I filled them out and they are ready to be turned in. I’m not going to lie, I’m both scared and nervous. This is a huge step in my transition, it’s the legal birth of Holly and the death of who I used to be. You may think I’m overreacting, but to me this is a really scary step. To me this is the death of the male me and the legal birth of who I am. 
 

I've always known this was going to happen sooner or later, but until now I never thought about it, not really. Well I guess when I go to turn in the forms, it will be my new reality. 
 

XOXO Holly (legally now). 

Link to comment
  • Replies 54
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • HollyElizabeth

    20

  • Jackie C.

    8

  • Elizabeth Star

    5

  • Ivy

    4

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

You may think I’m overreacting, but to me this is a really scary step. To me this is the death of the male me and the legal birth of who I am.

Yep, it’s a big step but it is a commitment to moving forward as Holly. It also will make all your next steps that much easier. You’re not overreacting...I had thoughts similar to yours when I changed my name legally. Although, it was actually harder for my wife than me. My wife was all tears leaving the courthouse but she knew I needed to do it.  We knew I was never going to use my dead name again. Also, it was really a nice experience to get all the new ID’s and see the new name (and gender on certain ID’s). I think you’ll feel the same way after it’s all completed.

 

Wonderful news, Holly!

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations @HollyNoel! This is a big step, but I think it's an important one. Another step on the road to presenting as your authentic self!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Congratulation @HollyNoel. Now you got me thinking about it. Mine's based around this next stimmy check. As I anxiously watch it's progress through the government the reality is starting to sink in. Omg I'm doing this.

Link to comment

I definitely don't think you're overreacting. That's a big public change and I know I'd be terrified at it myself, I'm scared at way less.

When you actually do it and see and hear how much more actually you you've just become, it's a wonderful feeling, but actually taking those steps is hard and scary, so respect and congratulations, Holly.

 

Link to comment

Thank you girls. Today instead of taking the papers in, I've been procrastinating. I want to say that I didn't do this because of a reason that means nothing, but in reality, I think its because I'm terrified. This isn't a change to be taken lightly. It'd something that's going to affect me for the rest of my life. I talked to my therapist today and she said that she can understand why I'm hesitating about doing this. She says this has got to be done when I'm ready, I can't be forced or talked into doing this. Sh said this is the equivalent of the caterpillar going into the cocoon and coming out the butterfly. Shes right, I want this but I also don't know if I'm quite ready to say goodbye to that part of me.

 

@ElizabethStar I was going to wait until the stimulus, but I found out I could apply for a hardship waver of the fee. I can't think of anyone that's had a harder hardship than us girls. And lets be honest, a judge may not grant me the waver, though as mom says, I am on disability, so I don't have any disposable money to spend. So that might go in my favor.

 

I really need to turn in these papers. My mom says it's a scary step but if I can publicly come out as trans, this shouldn't be that much of a problem. I know, I know. That comes from a woman that refuses to say I'm pretty or cute. I'm so confused by her. One time she backs me and the next she says hurtful things. I LOVE YOU ALL!

 

XOXO Holly (Soon to be legally, I hope!)

Link to comment

Oh, my endocrinologist keeps asking me about how the legal name change is going. I think hes worried that I'm not actually trans, that I'm just a guy that wants a girls body and not a life as I truly am, as Holly. To be honest, I'm kinda glad he is pushing, at least I have someone pushing me to do the things I should be doing. I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to this stuff. My family isn't helping me on this front. My mom hates that I've decided to transition, I keep telling her that It's not a choice, it's something I have to do for my sanity.  If I could just get my endocrinologist to give me progesterone to help with my development. I'm going to ask him again, make it a "Tit for a That" kinda thing. lol

 

Love you girls!

 

XOXO Holly, (hopefully legally soon).

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Maddee said:

Holly Noel sorry.

 

I'm not going post here if I can't do it right the first time

Sweetie, I don't mind how you post as long as you post whats in your heart. I will never be offended.

 

XOXO Holly.

Link to comment

Well in the typical me that I am, I haven't taken the step to drop off the paperwork. I know, I know, There is nothing that's going to happen except I will officially be Holly Elizabeth. I know this is something I want to do, need to do, have to do, it's just that other than coming out publicly as Holly, and getting bottom surgery, this is a huge step.

 

I will do this in the morning, I have a doctors appointment at 8:45 and 11:15, I told myself no more putting it off. Once I drop the paperwork then it's out of my hands and all I have to do it be Holly if I get approved. And there is no reason I shouldn't be approved.

 

Thank you @SheenaT.

 

XOXO Holly )Hopefully soon).

Link to comment

Congratulations! I did mine just a week ago. I keep running into things I need to send my paperwork off for too. Yes It's terrifying. I'm awaiting HR to change my company email, so everyone Calls me Tamsyn, but emails James. Then there are others who knew as James and hadn't yet met the new me and my signature confuses the hell out of them.

 

I'm a transport manager with 98 drivers and realised I signed all 98 driver record books this week with my old name :( Guess its time and practice. Also had a wobble day, where I had to climb in and under lorries so little point Tamsyn coming into work. I was actually pleased I got told off for it, for not being true to myself. Work have been very supportive.

 

Slow and steady :D

Link to comment

Thank you Tamsyn, I want to make sure I get your name correct. :)

 

Well I did it, I turned in my forms and I received my court case number. I have huge butterflies in my stomach all bumping around in there letting me know that I'm so much more closer to legally being Holly Elizabeth. I was at the window turning in my forms and talking to the woman when I heard someone yell across the room shout "Holly, you've really changed!". It made me turn around and the woman at the window started laughing. She said they were talking to a different Holly in Criminal. I told her I didn't know and I thought they were talking to me. lol

 

I about said yeah, Holly has really changed. lol

 

Anyway, I'm so close to being who I am, I can't wait, it's been far too long.

 

XOXO Holly!

Link to comment

Thats brilliant!  I brought donuts into work and had bit of a party. Would have had drinks, but the UK is in lockdown. A new birthday to remember too :D

 

In the UK, we change our name by Deed Poll and two friends acted as witnesses. I was surprised how easy it was, but now I have to contact so many different people about the change and pass over copies of the certificate (I signed 5 originals). Been trying to call my doctors for two days, but constantly engaged. The exciting one will be my drivers licence, with new photo xx

Link to comment

I agree, a new birthday. I've never changed my name so I'm not sure whats involved other than going in front of a judge, then taking a ad in the local paper telling everyone you've changed your name for 6 weeks, I guess its like a adult birth announcement. Pay the filing fee and you are who you say you are. Then you have to change your social security card, drivers license, change your name at all the places you do business with, like banks, and utility companies.

 

I plan to only tell the places I want to know. Everyone else that sends me junk mail can get sent to the "Not At This Address" file at the post office. Those people can eat my butt. lol.

 

XOXO Holly!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

In my state anyway it's basically the same as a woman changing her name to reflect her marital status. Most of the docket the day I had my name changed was other women getting theirs done for one reason or another. I swore I wasn't doing it for nefarious purposes and they rubber-stamped me and sent me downstairs for paperwork. Quick and really painless.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@Jackie C. I hope mine goes that quick and easy.

 

When I got home after dropping the papers off, I told mom what I did and I looked at her and said I wouldn't ask her to go with me to my court date because I know she doesn't approve of my transitioning. I meant it, some of the stuff shes said and some of the way shes acted towards me, she doesn't get to share this event in my life. I love her and I would die for her, but this is reserved for people that actually support me in this part of my life.

 

XOXO Holly!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

On my court date, I was supposed to meet my attorney. He was playing the time-table a lot more fast-and-loose than I was comfortable with. I waited for him for... oh, maybe five minutes past when the court office was open to dash upstairs and get my paperwork under control. There was NO possible way that I was delaying a second more than I had to so I could make sure everything went smoothly. Probably a good thing that I did. My case was called third in line and the bailiff escorted me out the door before my attorney managed to get to the courtroom. I had my ducks in a row as soon as humanly possible and I was not going to screw up my chances by tasking the judge or misbehaving in any way.

 

It was surprisingly tense now that I'm thinking about it, but I had everything I needed in my briefcase and ready to go well in advance.

 

I did get too many copies of my name change certificate, but hey, now I can lose up to three before I have to request additional copies from the court. Also, requesting photocopies from the court is an absolute racket. You don't need more than MAYBE two copies. Most places will accept photocopies now instead of insisting on the original.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@Jackie C. Will I need a lawyer for this? Can I handle this myself? And yeah I really don't want to make the judge have to work harder than he/she has too. I don't know whether the judge is going to be a man or a woman. This will be the very first time I've ever been in a courtroom. So far I've been a good girl.. lol.

 

Great! now I'm really nervous about this name change thing. lol.  I hope this goes smoothly, I don't need any hiccups with this thing.

 

XOXO Holly!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

No, you don't need a lawyer. I have one that works with trans-people getting their names changed pro-bono through the Trans-Legal Defense Fund. I can ask him questions about trans-related stuff, but I managed all of it with just the "how-to" packet I got from UofM.

 

The TLDef coverage is spotty though. I can't say if you have a lawyer in your area. It's still a great resource for legal stuff.

 

https://www.transgenderlegal.org/

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Holly Noel!"  Getting my name changed was a huge step and like you fear was part of that process.  I represented myself at court and despite that fear it went very well.  When the judge lived his head to ask why i wanted a name change it was so obvious he hesitated.  Then and anti climatic "motion approved".

As a funny aside a woman asked me if i could represent her before the hearing.  I guess my suit and brief case looked pretty good.

Since that time i've found fewer and fewer pieces of mail coming to him.  That he still gets any mail is annoying but understandable.  I do get a kick out of telling telephone sales people that he no longer lives here.

Enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

I received my first mail as Tamsyn today. It was a registered post / parcel. He asked if Tamsyn could sign, and so I did. It was my new glasses. I never bought female glasses before as I felt too ashamed as James to do so, but now I feel even more complete and comfortable :)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 88 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
    • Davie
      Thanks, @VickySGVfor some truth. Hatred may speak loudly in a political agenda, but there is always love, there is always love.
    • VickySGV
      Doesn't this belong over in the Humor Topic??  Grim humor I admit, but it has the dark humor picture of the folks protesting the Sacramento Sanctuary Laws.  If the world is going to end next week why are these people so concerned about someone staying fertile and able to have children??   Crazy.
    • VickySGV
      Once again the opposition is telling scary, unfounded  baloney about what IS being done to any Trans Person.  The truth about the very little and very cautious treatments just will not sink into them because it will sink them.  They bully their own Cis children unmercifully to fit into their molds, and that is gruesome in itself. I am happy to say I know that Trans children and all Trans folks in the area have access to wonderful care based on what some of my former State colleagues who have Trans family members and fellow employees there in Sacramento keep telling me about. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/local-politics/republicans-gop-ballot-initiatives-target-transgender-people/73-c47ad7ee-40ca-43e0-bb83-07e662eb1029   The reason CO has a Dem super majority is b/c it's a very blue state. A ballot initiative is going to go absolutely nowhere. They're wasting their time.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sacramento-sanctuary-city-transgender-people-rcna145287     Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      good for you dear. my guess is soreness is good sign things are going on there. water them n hope. smiles   actually was speaking to someone other day n they said the growth leveled off after a few years  which coincided with a few years of very high stress..n then when the high stress resolved, she grew another cup size..
    • missyjo
      darling I completely agree. but it will need road testing I'd think.    and I recently asked a surgeon about an idea I had for easier recovery...do a zero depth 1st..recover then add a canal..he said NO. this surgery is hard enough on body to recover, do not do it any more than needed. also said penile inversion usually is sufficient n includes a few centimeters of perineum tissue anyway..so keep the perineum pull through as a reserve technique in case there is a problem with theb penile inversion.    hugs to any who want them
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell from the article if being trans was part of the motivation for the crime, or whether it was simply incidental to it. Clearly at least one of the perpetrators was known to the victim, which seems to continue the pattern that the most dangerous people for us are often people we know.  😒
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Beans, beans, the musical fruit...   But beans and rice make a complete protein, and a pretty cheap base for any sort of meal. Since two of my partners are Hispanic and one is Asian, we use a lot of rice. Plenty of beans too, although 90% of the time they are on the form of black-eyed peas. That crop grows really well in the South no matter how hot and dry it gets.  And the Native American trio of corn, beans, and squash is a classic.  Actually, those ingredients tend to show clearly whether kids were raised with a healthy diet or not. Kids raised eating those foods luke them. Kids raised without experiencing those foods tend to reject them immediately. Rather strange.
    • Ashley0616
      I feel a little better about going outside. I got my EpiPen just in case of an emergency. Today was rough started euphoric and then depression hit real hard and I don't even know what it was about. It just happened. I want to see a bright future but it turns dim because of something. I was disappointed on how much supplemental insurance was more than regular health insurance. I enjoy seeing other successful people making it as a couple through everything in fact I cheer them on but it just makes me think if I will find anyone. I barely dated anyone when I was physically fit male and then it seems the older I get it gets harder. Not to mention everyone down here leaves as soon as they find out I'm trans. It's only going to get more difficult because of borderline personality disorder. It's dang near seems impossible that people would even put up with that. After all that I'm still trying to be positive and hope for the best but I always expect the worst and that has always been the case. Pushing 40 and I haven't even experienced true love.
    • Ashley0616
      Couldn't be any more truthful!
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon everyone,    I’ve been working in the shop and preparing a few training props for shipping. So my responses and activity here has been very slow. I’m doing well just real tired.    Hugs,    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mmindy
      That’s good news, listen to your doctors and your body. You may be asked to start a daily exercise routine and walking around the neighborhood. The worst thing you can do is become sedentary and laying around.    Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...