Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Another big girl step.


HollyElizabeth

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, LusciousTheLock said:

I received my first mail as Tamsyn today. It was a registered post / parcel.

I haven't gotten a legal change yet, but I already get mail for Jandi since I mostly use it as my "delivery" address.  I'm even of a number of mailing lists now - they usually want money.  LOL

 

But lately I am working toward a legal name and gender change.  It is intimidating, even if desired.

Link to comment
  • Replies 54
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • HollyElizabeth

    20

  • Jackie C.

    8

  • Elizabeth Star

    5

  • Ivy

    4

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

Thank you @Jackie C.. I'm going to go to that site and have a look around. Thank you so much.

 

@Charlize I really hope it goes that smooth, Ive no idea what to do if the judge says no. But then again why would they say no. I'm not changing my name for any other reason than to have a name that fits my better.

 

@LusciousTheLock I mean Tamsyn. I'm glad you got to sign your true name, I bet it felt great. I'm going to have to get new glasses also, I to am looking forward to getting my first female glasses. It's something that I've been thinking about for months. I'm not afraid of getting female glasses, I just have to get the funds together to afford them, that's why I haven't made the move yet.

 

@Jackie C., @Charlize, and Tamsyn, After I see that you all have done this, I know that I can take that step and legally and publicly be Holly. I know it's scary and not impossible.

 

Thank you girls

XOXO Holly!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

@Charlize I really hope it goes that smooth, Ive no idea what to do if the judge says no. But then again why would they say no. I'm not changing my name for any other reason than to have a name that fits my better.

 

The only real reason is that you've encountered a trans-hostile judge who has decided that they have something to prove today. I was fortunate in that my judge is an ally (and a friend of my attorney). While they're uncommon, they do exist. If you encounter one, you appeal the decision and try to get it overturned. For that, I'd get an attorney.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@Jackie C. I hope I get an ally judge, but if I don't, I'm going to look into legal aid for a low income lawyer that will be able to help me. Thank you for the advice. :)

 

 

XOXO Holly!

Link to comment

Huge congrats on taking this step, Holly!!! ???

 

I'll admit I have very little experience with this particular process (yet!), although I have looked into it for gender-unrelated reasons. FWIW, My impression is that name changes tend to be so routine (ex: marriage, dissociating from a bad father, forcing a preferred nickname like "Bob" instead of "Robert", etc...) that the whole judge thing is usually more of a formality. My (novice?) understanding is they mainly just want to prevent anyone from trying to make cheap, obvious attempts at dodging debts or warrants. If you're even bothering to apply to change your name from a masculine one to a feminine one, well, chances are you're a legit transgender person, because, well, how often do cis people try to put in an application like that?

 

And if you're still concerned, then consider this...

 

A certain cisgendered man, named Vincent Furnier, legally changed his first name to "Alice" all the way back in the 1970's (Just think how LGBT+ was perceived way back then). His new last name? "Cooper".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Cooper

 

I absolutely understand your worry and apprehension. But girl, for what it's worth, I don't think you have need to worry. FWIW, I personally think a "no" is highly unlikely, and on the super-off-chance it were to occur, I have a hard time imagining that an appeal wouldn't overturn it.

 

Girl, You've got this! ?

 

17 hours ago, Charlize said:

Getting my name changed was a huge step and like you fear was part of that process.  I represented myself at court and despite that fear it went very well.  When the judge lived his head to ask why i wanted a name change it was so obvious he hesitated.  Then and anti climatic "motion approved".

 

I love this story! ?

Link to comment

OMG!!!  I got my paperwork and my court date for my name change. April 13th at 9:30am. I just have to run the news paper thing for 3weeks. I plan on doing that on Monday. 
 

Then goodbye *dead name* and Hello Holly Elizabeth!  
 

OMG! I’m about to pass out. Lol. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations!

 

This is a big step! Now you get to practice signing your new name!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
5 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

Then goodbye *dead name* and Hello Holly Elizabeth!

Cool

Link to comment

I feel so  privileged to read all the emotions in this thread.  I have my, signed by the judge, name and gender marker documents sitting on my table.   I just need to use this instrument to change everything to Willow McKenzie ******.   I have been looking at them for a couple weeks.   I was tense and a bit scared before I went through the Court.   It was all done on line, (covid).   So painless.   They only mailed one original document.   I had to go to the Courthouse to get more legal copy's.  The lady behind the window took my money and then handed me the documents.  She smiled and  said genuinely, "congratulations Willow".   I felt so good inside I smiled and teared up as I walked down the hall with my head held high.  

 

   I have waited two weeks out of respect for my other half.   It really isn't that they passed or I killed them with this legal action, just that I am allowing my female side to thrive.   They can ride along in the back seat and I will protect them just as they did me.

 

   Thank you Holly and the rest of you for sharing.   It is helping me finish this.   Next step, DMV.

 

   Willow Mckenzie

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

I have my, signed by the judge, name and gender marker documents sitting on my table.

Good on you too.    I still have to work up the nerve to initiate this step.  It is a little scary.

Link to comment

Yes Jandi, it is all scary.   I found this forum late in my transitioning.   This thread is right on target in real time.   I am so glad I have found you all.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

This is indeed a big step but while scary try to think ahead to a time when you are that "new" name.  I remember a day when someone called out that dead name to a man nearby and i didn't even think of turning.  For me the simple comfort of living as myself has been worth all the work it took to get beyond the fear i felt.  Maybe we even grow a bit as we work through those fears but regardless the rewards can be finally being at peace with ourselves.  I never thought that possible but time has given it to me.  Today i'm good with myself almost all of the time and the few times I'm not are due to the deception and dishonesty of the past.  Today i'm at peace.....amazing!

Much of that i owe to others here and the rooms of recovery.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Charlize said:

Maybe we even grow a bit as we work through those fears but regardless the rewards can be finally being at peace with ourselves.

Oh, for sure.  Every new step overcomes one more fear.

Sometimes I wonder if a legal change is worth it at my age.  But it would sure mean a lot to me.  That and the gender marker.

Link to comment

Well I did it. I turned it into the news paper today this morning. Lol. I’m so excited that I know that in about a month I will be Holly legally. Omg it seems like a dream. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

Well I did it. I turned it into the news paper today this morning. Lol. I’m so excited that I know that in about a month I will be Holly legally. Omg it seems like a dream. 

I'm proud of you!  That is one more hurdle you can check off.  That leaves you more energy for tomorrow's goals.    I just got back from electrolysis.   My upper lip hurts.   When I try to stop transitioning,  I always hurt more.  

Link to comment

@Willow Farmer Thank you.

 

I have yet to do electrolysis, there isn't any place in my town that does electrolysis, the places the does hair removal only does laser and that wont work for me. My beard is mostly grey.

 

I have to travel to Chicago to get electrologist. That sucks.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@HollyNoel hang in there - I have been doing electrolysis for about 7 months locally (thank god) but I understand that laser doesn't work (I'm gray as well) and I really am horrible at shaving and it is driving me crazy - BUT - you will find someway, somehow to get it done - I have faith - GROUPON (to get deals) and if you have to drive - you can practice Voice Feminization exercises during the trip or emotion expansion or podcasts about LGBTQ+ topics.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

@Willow Farmer Thank you.

 

I have yet to do electrolysis, there isn't any place in my town that does electrolysis, the places the does hair removal only does laser and that wont work for me. My beard is mostly grey.

 

I have to travel to Chicago to get electrologist. That sucks.  

I have to drive 5hrs for everything trans---but I have found this gal locally who does fantastic electrolysis and she is fast!  She knows all the trans people, which she is quite protective of and that means I am also safe.   I have this grey-white beard hair too.   She is just a local gal that got a degree and understands how the world turns here.   She also is serving as my therapist, ha ha! My real one is 5+ hrs away and doesn't understand rural people that well.

    Maybe you can talk the laser person into getting certified for electrolysis.   It is good money.

 

   ---WILLOW---

Link to comment

Thank you @Shay and @Willow Farmer.

 

I've been looking at groupons for electrologists, nothing even close. So Chicago it is. lol

Oh well! It's been a while since I've been to Chicago. I want ti get my face cleared, I hate shaving.

Link to comment

OK Friends. So today is the first day my newspaper notice ran. I'm really excited. I blocked out anything that might show my ID. I didn't want to break forum rules. But this is the notice. It only has to run 3 weeks and has to run before the court date. I'm almost legally Holly Elizabeth. I can't wait. lol

IMG_E0390.JPG

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

After so much waiting and many set backs, today, in a few hours in fact, I'm filing my petition to legally change my name. I want to be excited but so many thing have happened that kept pushing it back farther and farther. And after yesterday's last minute coronavirus scare at work I thought I was going to be pushed over the edge. The day have finally come and I start today with just one thought....what I'm going to wear?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 155 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good morning,   I over slept yesterday was a couple minutes late clocking in.  But no breakfast or coffee.  Got caught up but it was go go go all morning.  I had to ask for a refresher on how I was to enter something but once I got a quick answer it came back to me.    @KymmieL sorry Ford didn’t work out.  We are always looking for good reliable people, I could get you a job here but the commute would be rough.  Today I have three audits to get done, plus other things during my shift on top of the regular things.  Since I am opening that puts me in the drivers seat.  The Asst Mgr comes in part way throuh my shift but she will have to handle customers while I do the work she would be doing if she opened. Tail wagging the dog.  Guess she’s getting punished for not following the Mgr’s requests.  They do tend to butt heads a lot.     Butting heads with people is a thing the Asst is known for.   @awkward-yet-sweet do you think just maybe this new graphics request was in the offing?  And why you were asked to go to work with your husband?  Obviously, he cares about you a lot and is trying to do things to help you.   speaking of meeting people @Adrianna Danielle we have a youngish customer who comes in frequently, I’d like to approach her but I’m just not certain yet.  She still dresses male but has long hair and early chest development.  My approach, if I ever decided I should would just be supportive but I really can’t be sure that is what is going on here or what and I would not want to make a big blunder if that’s not what he is doing.  A male with early teen boobs doesn’t want to be noticed.   well, I can’t be late again, I’ve got to leave now.  See you again later for afternoon tea and crumpets or scones. Mmm scones!   lol   Willow
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/scotland-pauses-prescriptions-puberty-blockers-transgender-minors-rcna148366     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-second-trump-presidency-would-be-a-nightmare-scenario-for-transgender-people_n_661ff9a9e4b07db21fd5d59b     Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, HIPAA is basically useless for keeping government out of your medical stuff.  It doesn't seem to prevent employers from making workplace medical demands either.  About the only thing it seems to do is keep somebody's sister or spouse from having the tools necessary to help you when you're in trouble.  As usual, government made things worse and added unhelpful red tape.  I really doubt HIPAA will be any use in the area of trans rights either.    Honestly, I don't see anything good will come of this no matter how it goes.  If some state AG's win on this, it will cause issues for trans folks.  If the Feds win on this, it'll be a precedent to stomp on states' rights even more than has already been done.  And I'm not sure which way things go will make a difference when it comes to officials from one state trying to do nasty things to people who have left that state and gone elsewhere.    What a crap sandwich... and no matter which plate it gets served on, "We The People" get to eat it. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      At least you tried!  Something equivalent or better may come up, and the waiting could be worth it.  Just keep trying and you'll eventually get what you need and want.      For me, having somebody to love was the most important.  Everything else follows after that.  I waited a long time to find somebody...and she ended up leading me to more than I ever thought possible.    Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now.  I have something work-like outside of my home responsibilities to do for the first time in about 18 months.  Nobody seems to mind the real me.  And this evening, my husband said something that just really made me feel special.  He was rubbing my back, shoulders, and chest while we talked, helping me relax.  He told me that he thought I was really cute in my girl form, but that he thinks my boy form might even be cuter.  And that he's proud of his "smart little Pocket Fox."    For me, the combination of those sweet words and the physical affection was exactly what I needed. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Hi!   That was probably hard to write and then read and say, did I really write that?  Been there.   I'm glad you call it a journey.  It is.  One step at a time, and sometimes two steps forward, one back.    Abby
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...