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Another big girl step.


Holly Elizabeth

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2 hours ago, LusciousTheLock said:

I received my first mail as Tamsyn today. It was a registered post / parcel.

I haven't gotten a legal change yet, but I already get mail for Jandi since I mostly use it as my "delivery" address.  I'm even of a number of mailing lists now - they usually want money.  LOL

 

But lately I am working toward a legal name and gender change.  It is intimidating, even if desired.

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Holly Elizabeth

Thank you @Jackie C.. I'm going to go to that site and have a look around. Thank you so much.

 

@Charlize I really hope it goes that smooth, Ive no idea what to do if the judge says no. But then again why would they say no. I'm not changing my name for any other reason than to have a name that fits my better.

 

@LusciousTheLock I mean Tamsyn. I'm glad you got to sign your true name, I bet it felt great. I'm going to have to get new glasses also, I to am looking forward to getting my first female glasses. It's something that I've been thinking about for months. I'm not afraid of getting female glasses, I just have to get the funds together to afford them, that's why I haven't made the move yet.

 

@Jackie C., @Charlize, and Tamsyn, After I see that you all have done this, I know that I can take that step and legally and publicly be Holly. I know it's scary and not impossible.

 

Thank you girls

XOXO Holly!

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Jackie C.
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

@Charlize I really hope it goes that smooth, Ive no idea what to do if the judge says no. But then again why would they say no. I'm not changing my name for any other reason than to have a name that fits my better.

 

The only real reason is that you've encountered a trans-hostile judge who has decided that they have something to prove today. I was fortunate in that my judge is an ally (and a friend of my attorney). While they're uncommon, they do exist. If you encounter one, you appeal the decision and try to get it overturned. For that, I'd get an attorney.

 

Hugs!

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Holly Elizabeth

@Jackie C. I hope I get an ally judge, but if I don't, I'm going to look into legal aid for a low income lawyer that will be able to help me. Thank you for the advice. :)

 

 

XOXO Holly!

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Heather Nicole

Huge congrats on taking this step, Holly!!! 🎉🎉🎉

 

I'll admit I have very little experience with this particular process (yet!), although I have looked into it for gender-unrelated reasons. FWIW, My impression is that name changes tend to be so routine (ex: marriage, dissociating from a bad father, forcing a preferred nickname like "Bob" instead of "Robert", etc...) that the whole judge thing is usually more of a formality. My (novice?) understanding is they mainly just want to prevent anyone from trying to make cheap, obvious attempts at dodging debts or warrants. If you're even bothering to apply to change your name from a masculine one to a feminine one, well, chances are you're a legit transgender person, because, well, how often do cis people try to put in an application like that?

 

And if you're still concerned, then consider this...

 

A certain cisgendered man, named Vincent Furnier, legally changed his first name to "Alice" all the way back in the 1970's (Just think how LGBT+ was perceived way back then). His new last name? "Cooper".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Cooper

 

I absolutely understand your worry and apprehension. But girl, for what it's worth, I don't think you have need to worry. FWIW, I personally think a "no" is highly unlikely, and on the super-off-chance it were to occur, I have a hard time imagining that an appeal wouldn't overturn it.

 

Girl, You've got this! 💖

 

17 hours ago, Charlize said:

Getting my name changed was a huge step and like you fear was part of that process.  I represented myself at court and despite that fear it went very well.  When the judge lived his head to ask why i wanted a name change it was so obvious he hesitated.  Then and anti climatic "motion approved".

 

I love this story! 😄

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Holly Elizabeth

OMG!!!  I got my paperwork and my court date for my name change. April 13th at 9:30am. I just have to run the news paper thing for 3weeks. I plan on doing that on Monday. 
 

Then goodbye *dead name* and Hello Holly Elizabeth!  
 

OMG! I’m about to pass out. Lol. 

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Jackie C.

Congratulations!

 

This is a big step! Now you get to practice signing your new name!

 

Hugs!

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Holly Elizabeth

Already practicing. Lol

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5 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

Then goodbye *dead name* and Hello Holly Elizabeth!

Cool

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Willow Farmer

I feel so  privileged to read all the emotions in this thread.  I have my, signed by the judge, name and gender marker documents sitting on my table.   I just need to use this instrument to change everything to Willow McKenzie ******.   I have been looking at them for a couple weeks.   I was tense and a bit scared before I went through the Court.   It was all done on line, (covid).   So painless.   They only mailed one original document.   I had to go to the Courthouse to get more legal copy's.  The lady behind the window took my money and then handed me the documents.  She smiled and  said genuinely, "congratulations Willow".   I felt so good inside I smiled and teared up as I walked down the hall with my head held high.  

 

   I have waited two weeks out of respect for my other half.   It really isn't that they passed or I killed them with this legal action, just that I am allowing my female side to thrive.   They can ride along in the back seat and I will protect them just as they did me.

 

   Thank you Holly and the rest of you for sharing.   It is helping me finish this.   Next step, DMV.

 

   Willow Mckenzie

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10 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

I have my, signed by the judge, name and gender marker documents sitting on my table.

Good on you too.    I still have to work up the nerve to initiate this step.  It is a little scary.

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Willow Farmer

Yes Jandi, it is all scary.   I found this forum late in my transitioning.   This thread is right on target in real time.   I am so glad I have found you all.

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Charlize

This is indeed a big step but while scary try to think ahead to a time when you are that "new" name.  I remember a day when someone called out that dead name to a man nearby and i didn't even think of turning.  For me the simple comfort of living as myself has been worth all the work it took to get beyond the fear i felt.  Maybe we even grow a bit as we work through those fears but regardless the rewards can be finally being at peace with ourselves.  I never thought that possible but time has given it to me.  Today i'm good with myself almost all of the time and the few times I'm not are due to the deception and dishonesty of the past.  Today i'm at peace.....amazing!

Much of that i owe to others here and the rooms of recovery.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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1 hour ago, Charlize said:

Maybe we even grow a bit as we work through those fears but regardless the rewards can be finally being at peace with ourselves.

Oh, for sure.  Every new step overcomes one more fear.

Sometimes I wonder if a legal change is worth it at my age.  But it would sure mean a lot to me.  That and the gender marker.

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Holly Elizabeth

Well I did it. I turned it into the news paper today this morning. Lol. I’m so excited that I know that in about a month I will be Holly legally. Omg it seems like a dream. 

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Willow Farmer
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

Well I did it. I turned it into the news paper today this morning. Lol. I’m so excited that I know that in about a month I will be Holly legally. Omg it seems like a dream. 

I'm proud of you!  That is one more hurdle you can check off.  That leaves you more energy for tomorrow's goals.    I just got back from electrolysis.   My upper lip hurts.   When I try to stop transitioning,  I always hurt more.  

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Holly Elizabeth

@Willow Farmer Thank you.

 

I have yet to do electrolysis, there isn't any place in my town that does electrolysis, the places the does hair removal only does laser and that wont work for me. My beard is mostly grey.

 

I have to travel to Chicago to get electrologist. That sucks.  

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@HollyNoel hang in there - I have been doing electrolysis for about 7 months locally (thank god) but I understand that laser doesn't work (I'm gray as well) and I really am horrible at shaving and it is driving me crazy - BUT - you will find someway, somehow to get it done - I have faith - GROUPON (to get deals) and if you have to drive - you can practice Voice Feminization exercises during the trip or emotion expansion or podcasts about LGBTQ+ topics.

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Willow Farmer
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

@Willow Farmer Thank you.

 

I have yet to do electrolysis, there isn't any place in my town that does electrolysis, the places the does hair removal only does laser and that wont work for me. My beard is mostly grey.

 

I have to travel to Chicago to get electrologist. That sucks.  

I have to drive 5hrs for everything trans---but I have found this gal locally who does fantastic electrolysis and she is fast!  She knows all the trans people, which she is quite protective of and that means I am also safe.   I have this grey-white beard hair too.   She is just a local gal that got a degree and understands how the world turns here.   She also is serving as my therapist, ha ha! My real one is 5+ hrs away and doesn't understand rural people that well.

    Maybe you can talk the laser person into getting certified for electrolysis.   It is good money.

 

   ---WILLOW---

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Holly Elizabeth

Thank you @Shay and @Willow Farmer.

 

I've been looking at groupons for electrologists, nothing even close. So Chicago it is. lol

Oh well! It's been a while since I've been to Chicago. I want ti get my face cleared, I hate shaving.

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Holly Elizabeth

OK Friends. So today is the first day my newspaper notice ran. I'm really excited. I blocked out anything that might show my ID. I didn't want to break forum rules. But this is the notice. It only has to run 3 weeks and has to run before the court date. I'm almost legally Holly Elizabeth. I can't wait. lol

IMG_E0390.JPG

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Holly Elizabeth
7 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Congrats!! @HollyNoel

Thank you Elizabeth. *hugs*.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Elizabeth Star

After so much waiting and many set backs, today, in a few hours in fact, I'm filing my petition to legally change my name. I want to be excited but so many thing have happened that kept pushing it back farther and farther. And after yesterday's last minute coronavirus scare at work I thought I was going to be pushed over the edge. The day have finally come and I start today with just one thought....what I'm going to wear?

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  • Posts

    • Jackie C.
      Well, you are a woman. Good on him for noticing though!   Hugs!
    • Britney Summers
      Hello again, thanks for the tips. I haven't gotten lipstick yet. I have to make sure it is something that comes off completely and quickly if need be. I need to get a whole make up brush set and all that and go learn from youtube.
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    • DonkeySocks
      Hey, this news (long time coming) made me smile. Sounds like you are in a good place emotionally and physically.
    • DonkeySocks
      Sounds like a great day. Thanks for sharing.
    • DonkeySocks
      Oh, and I think a loose, long skirt looks more gender-neutral than a form-hugging knee-length skirt, when you have thigh/hip curves. Kinda draw the eye down to the lower leg instead of sticking at the curves.
    • DonkeySocks
      Plaid flannels in a size or two larger than your usual shirt size. Lace-up boots or ankle-high shoes, even if you're in a skirt. A masculine hat over the short haircut. Turtleneck shirt or sweater. Leather bracelets/wristlets or a masculine watch. So many people associate skirts with females that they will gender based on the skirt without looking at anything else, but if you're in pants, a hat can really help. Also, straight-cut jeans look more generically masculine than sweatpants do, I think. You will have to experiment with size because of the men's jeans not being made for your hips. If you live in an area with a farm store that sells Carhartt brand jeans you might try those.   When you want to look twink and still make people do a double-take, you might try a hat, a button-down shirt that's more dressy than flannel, but still a size or two larger so it won't fit your curves too closely, and high-top shoes. All that with a skirt. Also, plaid skirts might make people think more masculine, depending on the color.
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    • Elizabeth Star
      Thanks everyone. I do like this outfit but the downside is keeping the parts in place all day. I know I could wear a pair of two of tight undies to get the same effect but I’m weird and don’t like panty lines in leggings. I just remembered I have some cutoffs I could try this with when I get rid of these pasty-white winter legs.    I love this thread. Everyone has great looks. 
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in disgust at my hope to dispatch all wrongs.  My feet don’t remember bread gave them power.  My words don’t know how I can love the hour.   —— Davie     
    • Beatriz
      Wow, that sounds great! Congratulations! I'm very happy for you.
    • whatishappening
      Thank you!
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