Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

D-Day? T(rans)-Day?


Drayse

Recommended Posts

Today is the day! HR will be there and we'll be having multiple small meetings with the staff where I will reintroduce myself as Drayse to my coworkers. I've got my crumpled up speech in my hot, sweaty hand. By the time I'm done my shift I'll be out to the majority of my coworkers.

 

Also, the HR rep has told me that my work documentation will reflect my desired name change, but not gender. The gender change will come once I've made the official change to my birth certificate.

 

I'm both nervous and excited. Dreading it and desiring it. Wish me courage!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations, and good luck!  Coming out is a big step, perhaps the biggest.  I hope your co-workers are all supportive.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Drayse congrats I am so proud of you and I absolutely love your new name - it has such a beautiful sound for a beautiful girl. 

Super Hugs.

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Drayse said:

Today is the day! HR will be there and we'll be having multiple small meetings with the staff where I will reintroduce myself as Drayse to my coworkers. I've got my crumpled up speech in my hot, sweaty hand. By the time I'm done my shift I'll be out to the majority of my coworkers.

 

Also, the HR rep has told me that my work documentation will reflect my desired name change, but not gender. The gender change will come once I've made the official change to my birth certificate.

 

I'm both nervous and excited. Dreading it and desiring it. Wish me courage!

Wish you the best! ?

Link to comment

Thanks all of you for all the encouraging words. I wanted to update everybody sooner, but I had left my phone at home. Honestly, when does that ever happen? Sure, leave your lunch. Leave the office keys. But never, ever your phone!

 

Everything seemed to go well. Everybody seemed supportive and a lot of people, particularly the women on staff, mentioned how proud they were of me and how happy I have seemed lately. I'm still trying to absorb it all.

Link to comment

Congrats Drayse! That's a huge step. I'm so glad it went well.

I'm sure it is a huge weight off your shoulders. It would be for me if I find the courage to come out at work!

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Drayse said:

Everything seemed to go well. Everybody seemed supportive and a lot of people, particularly the women on staff, mentioned how proud they were of me and how happy I have seemed lately. I'm still trying to absorb it all.

Congratulations Drayse. Glad it went so well for you. Like Gabriel said, it is a huge weight off your shoulders. It takes a while to get used to using a new name. Have you tried signing it yet? I noticed women seem more accepting, get excited and squee about things like this.

Link to comment

Ohhhhh! I'm so proud of you and congratulations!  I have a question, pronouncing your name does the "se" at the end sound like "S" "See" or "Z". 

Link to comment

Thanks again everyone. To address some specific questions:

4 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Have you tried signing it yet?

I'm assuming you mean signing my signature. If so, not officially but I have been practicing my signature a lot. ?

 

If you meant ASL, no I haven't. That's an interesting idea however.

3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I have a question, pronouncing your name does the "se" at the end sound like "S" "See" or "Z". 

It's supposed to be a "Z" sound as in "zzz" (and in my Canadian head I'm hearing the letter "Z" as "Zed" as that's how many, if not most, Canadians say that letter even though it's the "zee" or "zzz" sounds we utilize in practice). But I find the "S" sound acceptable. "See" or "Zee" just makes me shake my head and giggle, but perhaps I might like them when used as endearments. ?

Link to comment
8 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I noticed women seem more accepting, get excited and squee about things like this.

I'm glad it went well for you.   In my limited experience I have found women more accepting as well.

Link to comment

@Drayse Congrats and know that I'm a bit jealous. Good luck sweetie. Just know that while we can't physically can't be there, we are all there in spirit cheering you on. You go girl. We are all rooting for you.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Interesting tidbit of a story to addendum to this saga. One of the coworkers who I thought would be a problem when I came out was vocally and visually supportive on that day. But rumours have been getting back to me that he has been dead naming, misgendering me off work hours and property. With charming statements such as "That stupid gay <deadname>...."

 

I don't know if it's true or not that he's doing this as this is hearsay after all. I'm also concerned that if I confront him to confirm the validity of the claim I'll reveal the person whom he said it to, who is both an minor and this particular man's son. But if it is true, I'm not bothered as I predicted that he would be problematic. And "gay" is the worst insult he can think of? I haven't been bothered by that in years, decades even.

Link to comment

I work with a guy like that. He's been problematic since the beginning of my journey. Even had the nerve to bitch (literally does it all the time) at his supervisor about my low-ish-cut top. She pointed out the fact that she gave me that top and he had no problems when she wore it.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

She pointed out the fact that she gave me that top and he had no problems when she wore it.

I love this.

But it is too bad he's an a-hole.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

Even had the nerve to bitch (literally does it all the time) at his supervisor about my low-ish-cut top. She pointed out the fact that she gave me that top and he had no problems when she wore it.

 

OMG I love this, thank you for sharing that bit of information it made my day....

 

Rachel

Link to comment
2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 She pointed out the fact that she gave me that top and he had no problems when she wore it.

 

That gave a me a smile Liz.  That just the sort of thing i would say. I like your supervisor ?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 103 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • VickySGV
    • Avra
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • violet r
    • MaryEllen
    • Maddee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
    • Mmindy
      You're welcome Sally,   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      This is a great analogy. The statement is true as it relates to the tree. The analogy fits because we as a LGBTQIA community are stronger when we stand together. It also work here on Transgender Pulse Forums. The support I feel from so many others has made me comfortable with my stance, because I'm in a beautiful forest of friends. So when I'm out alone and confronted. I can respond and act like the single tree in the field, surviving whatever comes my way. My roots reach back and communicate with others like me.    Standing Strong,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Sally Stone
      Mindy, that would be so awesome of you.  Please make the edit for me, and thank you so much!
    • Sally Stone
      M.   The term bigender works for me because after taking the time to explore my feelings, I kept coming to the same conclusion, that while I felt an overpowering need to express my inner woman, I also enjoyed being a man.  I realized that my personality was equal parts man and woman and to be happy and fulfilled, I needed to express both sides.  There are challenges living a life of two-gender expression, but I'll expand on some of those in future posts.     Hugs,   Sally
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...