Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Strangest way of coming out?


LusciousTheLock

Recommended Posts

I think I may have had the strangest way of coming out to my wife. How about you?  Anything similar?

 

I had been having counselling for over a year and still not told my wife. I mean how could I? We had been married for 15yrs and we had four children. I had already gone through two counsellors at this point as was still very closeted, not accepting the truth, but it was inevitable at that point. Anyway, I could never pin my wife down or find a good way of telling her, so I hatched a plan... Quite possibly an insane one, but I was desperate. She needed to know the truth.

 

I bought Champagne and covered our bed in rose petals. Set a romantic scene with music and an open fire. We were quite a kinky couple once upon a time, so settled on a bondage theme for the evening. She dressed in the most amazing latex dress (I was always jealous of her body) and she agreed to be tied down in a straight jacket. I shoved a ball-gag in her mouth, then explained I had something to tell her and that I tied her down to the bed for her own safety... And mine.

 

Once she had listened, I told her I would let her go and we could open the champagne and discuss. I'm glad I tied her down, because she wasnt happy and didnt want to listen, but she had no choice! But when I eventually removed the gag, she simply replied "That explains alot!" I refused to release her until she calmed down. Which she did, eventually. Actually it was quite a nice evening in the end. I shared some truly raw feelings that night about my childhood, and how I had always been someone else. She accepted straight away and understood my actions even though I felt very dishonest about our whole marriage, like I had been cheating on her. She told me we would work through it together.

 

Three years later, we're still together, kinda. More like sisters now, but I care for my wife more than anyone else on the planet.

Oh, and I promise I'm not a psycho :)

 

 

Link to comment

Hey Luscious, nice to meet you. Crazy story! I love latex. Haven't come out to my wife yet though, since I only realised the extent of my femaleness after we broke up about 8 months ago and I haven't seen her since. I plan to see her, and come out to her, in about a month when I travel back to where she lives, but I doubt I'll need a ball gag or handcuffs for the occasion! Anyway thanks for sharing. I like hearing crazy stories.

Link to comment

Well, we're not kinky anymore. Now its all she can do to get undressed in front of me. But I have my memories lol.

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Betty K said:

Haven't come out to my wife yet though, since I only realised the extent of my femaleness after we broke up about 8 months ago and I haven't seen her since.

My ex and I had split before I faced my own transness.  She was the first one I talked about it with.  She wasn't much surprised.  We never got back together, but are still friends.

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Jandi said:

We never got back together, but are still friends.

 

I think this will probably happen with us too. I can't imagine she'll disown me for it! And maybe it'll actually make it easier for us to be friends in a way. I hope so.

Link to comment

Awww!!! This is so raw and tender! ❤️

 

I'm sorry for the difficulties involved, but I'm glad that it sounds to be an overall positive outcome. Coming out can be a wild ride, no matter what the nature of the relationship. And the closer, the wilder!

Link to comment

Well, there is history to the story and I have a past...

 

I was made homeless at 16 due to my parent not wanting "My sort" around. I had also been abused as a child, tortured and bullied most of my younger life. I think because I was quite feminine and struggled to fit in. I actually got doused in petrol when I was 12 and set alight. Then received a beating from my parents who suggested I brought it on myself with my queer behaviour. I still have the scars all over my back and remember having to peel myself from my bed in the morning for  months. Never went to hospital or told a soul. They think the stress of this was the cause of my Diabetes which I discovered in my early 30's. Anyway, when I got kicked out of home I decided to change who I was completely. I weight trained, got big and muscly. Got new friends (Really quite undesirable people too, but they looked after me) but essentially changed everything about who I was. I used to go clubbing most weekends and with my tattooed and pierced body, could attract many pretty ladies.

 

But... I had a problem.  My equipment didn't work. It never had and I was too embarrassed to see a doctor or ask questions why. I loved women, but couldn't make any relationship last more than a couple of weeks for obvious reasons.  I fell in love with an absolute bombshell of a girl, but after stringing her along for three months it came to an end. I was having my first major depression and tried to slit my wrist (I still have the scar), I gave up at the point where I hit the vein and it hurt lol.

 

Anyway, a few months later, I was drinking a lot and taking drugs. One night I was walking down a street towards the river with my dog, when not being quite of sound mind, fell down a flight of concrete steps to a basement flat where I knocked myself out!  When I came too, there was a nurse stood over me, wiping blood from the top of my head. She checked if I was alright and invited me into her home to sort myself out. It turned out we knew each other, as my sister had just started seeing her brother and we met at a party (No incest, I swear). This was Christina who would become my future wife.

 

This is where the kink comes in...   We had been getting on quite well. This was a sensible strong woman who had been abandoned by her ex when she gave birth to their son. Chris had just gone back to work and her son was six months old. I kinda inherited an instant family with Chris instantly banning any drugs or alcohol from the house forcing me to sort myself out.  We looked like a model power couple, with her a nurse and myself getting promoted at work. I popped round most evenings and she was happy for the company and wanted me to stay over, but I knew I couldn't perform the way she wanted / needed and so I had an epiphany... How do Lesbians satisfy each other?

 

Chris would come home from work and would be absolutely shattered, and so I asked her to strip off and I would give her a massage with some oils. She was gorgeous, and both of us in our early twenties were certainly not shy of our bodies. I'm sure she thought the evening would would end in sex. But I planned to give her the best massage and oral sex she had ever experienced. There was of course another problem... My god was she hairy! Some people like the natural look, but I did not and certainly didn't want that in my mouth!

 

I asked her if she trusted me?  I told her I wanted to blindfold her and give her a surprise. She looked confused, yet excited and nodded.  Chris looked so relaxed laying on the bed looking back at me. I asked her to give me 2 minutes while I hunted her flat (apartment) for tools. I used pairs of her leggings from her airing cupboard to tie her to her bed. I then blindfolded and gagged her, then proceeded to shave her bald!

 

I continued to massage every inch of her body and eventually gave her what she had been craving with the use of my fingers and mouth. I had never been this close to a woman before, but appeared to be getting it right. I also discovered she climaxed quite violently soaking the bed (we slept on the floor that night lol).

 

Anyway... I was terrified that I may have gone too far and so released her. Thinking she would call the Police. Her first words were "Three things", yes? I replied nervously. "1. You will never shave me again, I have cuts everywhere."  "2. That was F*cking amazing, where did you learn to do that?" I was confused,  and then finally, "3. If you expect me to keep this bald, your joining the club too. If you grow it back, so will I".

 

I was 21, Chris a little older and much more experienced than me. Our relationship turned into a tit for tat, then evolved into a full on BDSM relationship. I told her I think I'm cursed, but she never pushed me to perform as she was more than satisfied with my performance. Our relationship worked because we both worked hard, looked after her son and looked like a normal family. Chris did a little modelling for some art friends too. We were punks, and her grungey goth look was a real turn on for me. Not sexually of course, but I always thought that this is how I would like to look if I had been a woman. I got to buy her clothes, do her makeup and hair. For the next ten years, I lived my female side through her. Chris was the submissive one between us. she loved to be humiliated, with my the more dominant of the two, perhaps a role reversal in our vanilla daily lives?

 

So, I have four children... How did that happen?   We had been to various munches in the area for a couple of years and had met some wonderful people at fetish clubs and there always seemed to be a party going on that we would get invited to or someone offering tips and advice to spice up our games. Obviously Chris had been talking to someone about my own "Performance" issues and so for my 24th birthday, Chris planned a surprise for me.

 

The evening of my birthday, I arrived home from work and was told my stepson was at his grandparents for the night and so was told to take an early bath then come into the bedroom for some fun. Whilst in the bath, Chris brought me in an ice cold beer, which I downed in one. It was a scorching May day. I dried myself and wandered into the bedroom. Chris was not wearing a lot and nor was our friend Clair (Who was also our body piercer). I was shocked to see another person in the room, but went along with it. I was tied down by the two lovely ladies and I started to feel a bit hot and whoozey. Clair was there to pierce both my nipples and left once that deed was done. My lover on the other hand, told me she had slipped two Viagra tablets into the beer I drank, and it was starting to take effect.

 

So I lost my virginity at the age of 24. To be honest, I got more sensation from my poor nipples (Which Chris kept wiping with ice) than I did from between my legs. That stayed numb throughout, but after an hour (Felt like ages) erupted, and stayed hard all night, but I was exhausted. Nine months later my first daughter was born. What this also did was jump start my body. I was cured! Or so I thought.  After, we both got a reputation for being sex mad. We tried everything, even Dogging!  My second daughter is named Kia as she was conceived... You get the idea.

 

So yeah, we married, had four children. happy families for the next ten years. Outgrew the kinky stuff as we matured. it was fun. I remember our last session in our dungeon before we sold our old house. We were sorting out old clothes and I think I had just found something else that Chris would look great in. Christina stopped me and said "Stop treating me like a doll you can dress up and play with". This was the first time I realised she was right. I had been living my feminine side through her for years. She was my doll. I stopped instantly and realised I had that "Weird" side I needed to repress. So I did for a few more years, forcing the thoughts out of my head every time they entered, and of course now my dear wife moans I never buy her any clothes and that I spend too much time on my own makeup! 

 

 

Link to comment

I guess I've got issues lol  No wonder I'm in my fourth year of weekly counselling! :D 

Link to comment
10 hours ago, gina-nicole-t said:

@LusciousTheLock I thought getting beat around by my adopted parents was hell. I think we both have our fair share of scars from our younger days of the ones who were supposed to love us not loving us, but abusing us for not living up to what they believed in. I was also kicked around in school for not acting like a normal guy, and I also didn't develop like you. Embarrassing; yes it is. Relationships for me were a lot like you in that they never have lasted any amount of time, but I also blame that on my overly religious parents who I don't think ever wanted me to date, or if they had lived past my 23rd birthday would've sent me to a Christian University to make sure I married whom they wanted me to marry. Talk about a couple of messed up people. I am also in my forth year of counseling, third year of HRT, and on the fourth of March i will have the first two surgeries to align my body to my mind. 

I respect, and feel for everything you have been through in your life. If that would have been me I doubt I would have made it alive. I think you are a stronger person in a lot of respects than I am. I know you are. 

Respectfully, 

Gina 

Wow! Thank you. Your progress is much further than mine. I'm just over 12 months into social transition and expect to start Hormones in around eight months if all goes to plan, its not easy here in the UK. The thing that always held me back the most was believing I was a freak or a "Shouldn't have been" a mistake. It took me three years of counselling to admit, that maybe I'm not such a bad person and I do deserve and have a right to live and be the person I want to be. The only reason I opened up in the end was when my own counsellor admitted that our stories were so very similar and she completely understood my thought processes and decision making. There are more of us out there, and I hope the world is changing for the better. Children, shouldn't go through what we did.   

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 105 Guests (See full list)

    • Breanne_O
    • EasyE
    • Braxton9312
    • Petra Jane
    • CDORDaddy72
    • Betty K
    • Astrid
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...