My Sister Became My Brother 50 Years Ago, Before Many Knew What 'Transgender' Meant

[Jani]

This isn't really about transgender issues but then it is.  I found this article to be interesting and a reminder of how far we've come.  And how far we need to go. 

Jani

 

 

"I was relieved and grateful he didn’t try to stop me. I knew this wasn’t exactly fun for him. My brother was never a trailblazer by choice. He became a pioneer out of necessity. Transitioning saved his life. And my life was forever changed because of it. 

 

He was never able to teach me to be the handyman he is, although he impatiently tried, rolling his eyes when I handed him pliers after he asked for a socket wrench. But our relationship taught me something more important — how to not get hung up on the external and to be able to recognize the humanity in others. When I see how much time the world wastes demonizing the “other” and causing unnecessary strife and pain, I know now is not the time to be timid. I need the same courage to take the kind of action that he and my mom showed me all those years ago."

 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sister-coming-out-trans-man_n_6033e749c5b673b19b6a448e

 

 

[VickySGV]

I actually found myself wiping off a tear or two thinking about the times this began in.  I was very much a young adult of the 1960's and I was considered "weird" for not acting "just right" back then. A school counselor told me that I seemed to be putting on an act that made people uncomfortable, but softened it with "I don't think it is intentional and neither of us has any idea just now what that act is".   Fifty years later I attended my High School Class Reunion as Vicky and a common response was "OMG this is why you seemed so strange back then as <dead name>".  

[Carolyn Marie]

Great article, Jani.  Thanks for posting it.  In 1972-73, I tried in the college library to find books about trans people.  All I found was a book about surgical techniques.  My heroes then, heroes I couldn't mention to family or friends, were Christine Jorgensen and Renee Richards, the only ones I knew of.  I thought then I was alone in my feelings and would not have known who to turn to for advice or assistance.  It was a different world.  Keith Hoffman was as much a pioneer as his sister, IMO.  We live, we learn.  Four very important words.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Jani]

4 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

In 1972-73, I tried in the college library to find books about trans people. 

Me too!!  I would skulk around the 5th floor where biology and medical books were.  I don't recall what I found as it was eons ago.  

 

5 hours ago, VickySGV said:

I actually found myself wiping off a tear or two thinking about the times this began in. 

I was saddened just to read the story headline.  It must have been so hard back then.  In contrast we have it easy now.  I have deep respect for those who went before us.   

[KayC]

Thank you for sharing, @Jani.  Very inspiring.

[Willow McKenzie]

Thank you for bringing this article to my attention.

   I lived through those times.   My goal was that my family and others around me always thought positively about me.  Without any transsexual role models I had no way to know my feelings of identifying  as a female  wasn't wrong.   I dedicated my life to being what my parents envisioned for me.   I didn't find out until I started transitioning that my Mother , who is alive and well at 88, always knew and she was doing the same thing, (if you don't acknowledge it, it will go away).  She sent me a porcelain doll she made including the clothes for my birthday. the present was wrapped with a trans-flag colored ribbon.  ---tears of joy---   

 

   ---WILLOW---

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

She sent me a porcelain doll she made including the clothes for my birthday. the present was wrapped with a trans-flag colored ribbon.  ---tears of joy--- 

That is beautiful.

My parents were both gone long before I even faced who I am.  But I know they wouldn't have accepted it.

[Willow McKenzie]

2 hours ago, Jandi said:

That is beautiful.

My parents were both gone long before I even faced who I am.  But I know they wouldn't have accepted it.

Jandi,  I will share this with you so you can enjoy it too

 

   ---WILLOW---

[Charlize]

That is beautiful Willow.  I think my mothers knows well but it just wasn't done!  Another crew cutlass always the answer as my hair grew.  How i longed for long hair and felt blessed that i at least could be a hippie in 1967 after high school.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Willow McKenzie]

5 hours ago, Charlize said:

That is beautiful Willow.  I think my mothers knows well but it just wasn't done!  Another crew cutlass always the answer as my hair grew.  How i longed for long hair and felt blessed that i at least could be a hippie in 1967 after high school.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Thank you Charlize for the kind words.   I came back from college a Hippie, and my Mother told me she must of been a beat-nik, just didn't know it at the time.  

  Thank you Jani for allowing me to hog your thread.   I need to start my own but all the questions I come up with have already been addressed quite well in past threads.

 

   ---WILLOW---

[Ivy]

7 hours ago, Willow Farmer said:

I will share this with you so you can enjoy it too

Pretty.

 

I was always jealous of my sisters' hair.   We boys always got the buzzy treatment.

I was a bit of a hippy myself once I was not so much under my parents.  After some military madness I went to California where I met my wife.  They weren't crazy about her either.  Oh well.  I was kinda the black sheep.

My mother once said that "hippies" should be put in a concentration camp.

But when she was old she had Alzheimers.  We helped keep her in our home, in fact she died there.

But like I have mentioned, both my folks were gone before I came out.  I suspect they wouldn't have been thrilled.  I guess we were spared that one.

[Willow McKenzie]

4 hours ago, Jandi said:

Pretty.

 

I was always jealous of my sisters' hair.   We boys always got the buzzy treatment.

I was a bit of a hippy myself once I was not so much under my parents.  After some military madness I went to California where I met my wife.  They weren't crazy about her either.  Oh well.  I was kinda the black sheep.

My mother once said that "hippies" should be put in a concentration camp.

But when she was old she had Alzheimers.  We helped keep her in our home, in fact she died there.

But like I have mentioned, both my folks were gone before I came out.  I suspect they wouldn't have been thrilled.  I guess we were spared that one.

You are a special being Jandi.   I look forward to many interesting talks.