What Finally Triggered you to Transition

[Betty K]

15 hours ago, Maddee said:

Something mostly intangeable happened between me and a young woman.

 

Your story is so intriguing Maddee -- I want to know more! It sounds like a magical and once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. It reads a bit like a poem or a treatment for a film. Haunting!

[Betty K]

On 3/8/2021 at 2:47 AM, Tasha Marie said:

but it was everything else I lost my job I had no money

 

Hi Tasha Marie. I totally feel this. I am at a similar point now: for practical reasons (lack of money, lack of a home, lack of support network) transitioning may have to wait. It's pretty scary. It was scary enough deciding that I might want/need to transition in the first place, but deciding to wait and put Betty back in the closet sounds just as scary.

[Heather Shay]

@Tasha Marie @Betty K hang in there ladies. I am a believer in the saying that it is darkest before the dawn and I sense you are there. Hang in there and you will gain your reward.

[Betty K]

@Shay honey I sure hope so. I do feel things looking up lately, but I have a ways to go yet. x

[Heather Shay]

You will make it. You are much stronger than you know.

[Betty K]

x thanks Shay

[Charlize]

I never thought it could be possible for me to be myself.  While i was out and about as myself and visited with several friends, full time seemed impossible.  I felt i had too much to loose.  I guess if i had nothing i would have been scared as well. 

What finally got me to pull that trigger was stopping for gas on the way to a support meeting.  Fate stepped in and i man who had worked on the farm saw me and came over to talk.  He is one of the biggest gossips i know.  I made the plunge the next day and never looked back.  His seeing me was a terror but maybe the best thing that has  ever happened to me.

The final trigger was  pulled.

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Tasha Marie]

@shay. Thank you. Trying to stay positive.

[Tasha Marie]

@Betty KIt is hard for sure. I think though if we set little goals along the way at least we are making some progress and smiles it surely will help. 

[Heather Shay]

@Tasha Marie @Betty K Little Goals - wise words - the ladies here have shown me time and again that all 3 of us are making progress - more than we believe ourselves. The term the like to use is "INCREMENTAL CHANGE." I try to do something little each day to make me feel like I'm progressing. It is hard and many days feel like backward steps or at least no steps - but even those further you in your knowledge of yourself and things to work on.

[Tasha Marie]

@ShayI like that incremental change.

[Red_Lauren.]

It was a snowball of things. Covid hitting and allowing more me time. Which allowed me to find a new career soon. Being worn out physically and mentally from my job. Among other reasons. The biggest ones so far. Had to be a friend getting stage three breast cancer, and finding supportive friends. Every thing all happened in less then 6 months. 

 

My friend's cancer was mostly the main reason. She is only 42 at the and made me realize how short life can be. She's fine now, and beat it. My friend's were a close second. With out the support of them. I doubt I would be doing it.  

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Red_Lauren. said:

She's fine now, and beat it.

 

I'm glad your friend is OK. My wife had breast cancer a couple of years back and I spent the entire treatment period being terrified.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Shay]

@Red_Lauren. glad your friend is now a proud cancer survivor and I'm glad you found support (extremely important) and most important I am glad you took the step. Congrats.

[Red_Lauren.]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I'm glad your friend is OK. My wife had breast cancer a couple of years back and I spent the entire treatment period being terrified.

 

Hugs!

I probably wasn't as bad if it would have been my old lady, but I was worried about her and her kids. I tired to support her the best I could, but I also knew I wasn't part of the girls club yet. I kind of let her cis friends, and family support her the most. When I would see her. We never really talked about her cancer a whole lot. I didn't ignore it, but I still treated her like a person. When we would see each other. We would just talk, and make each other laugh.  

 

The ironic part was she has to take estrogen blockers for the rest of her life. In hopes the cancer doesn't come back. Which I didn't know till I told her in January I was transgender, and started taking hormones while she was on medical leave. we do chat about changes that could happen to us. Granted my changes might be a bit more dramatic, but we sorta have a new unknown between us now. I did joke about if she ever grew a mustache I would teach her to shave it. We both laughed at that. I told her if she ever feels different, and not sure why. To just text me, and see if I can help. As I do know a thing or two about how male hormones effect men. 

[Red_Lauren.]

2 hours ago, Shay said:

@Red_Lauren. glad your friend is now a proud cancer survivor and I'm glad you found support (extremely important) and most important I am glad you took the step. Congrats.

It was either now or never. Im not big on taking life changing steps, but this one had to be done.

[Jackie C.]

11 hours ago, Red_Lauren. said:

The ironic part was she has to take estrogen blockers for the rest of her life. In hopes the cancer doesn't come back. Which I didn't know till I told her in January I was transgender, and started taking hormones while she was on medical leave. we do chat about changes that could happen to us. Granted my changes might be a bit more dramatic, but we sorta have a new unknown between us now. I did joke about if she ever grew a mustache I would teach her to shave it. We both laughed at that. I told her if she ever feels different, and not sure why. To just text me, and see if I can help. As I do know a thing or two about how male hormones effect men. 

 

Oh, she had the estrogen-eating marker too. It was the same with my wife, but she was already post-menopausal so they just let it go. That's actually caused a bit of friction with us because I can have estrogen and enjoy the benefits while she gets the hot-flashes.

Granted they put her through menopause twice while they were treating her endometriosis so she knew what to expect, but it makes her sad.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Shay]

@Red_Lauren. and @Jackie C. I wish both wives well. Theirs are tough lives to live in many respects and I know they have loving partners and that is good news for them. 

Hugs.

[Red_Lauren.]

6 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Oh, she had the estrogen-eating marker too. It was the same with my wife, but she was already post-menopausal so they just let it go. That's actually caused a bit of friction with us because I can have estrogen and enjoy the benefits while she gets the hot-flashes.

Granted they put her through menopause twice while they were treating her endometriosis so she knew what to expect, but it makes her sad.

 

Hugs!

She said it has put her in early menopause her self. I feel bad for her in many ways, and I feel like crap my self. Because im taking the same hormones that almost killed her, and took away her breast.  While see gets to see grow breast, and see all the benefits. I know she's excited for me, and to see me change. I just worry that it might trigger some thing in her down the road. Which I don't want to do. I can also bet this. She will probably be the first person that hounds me about getting a  mammogram in a few years. 

4 hours ago, Shay said:

@Red_Lauren. and @Jackie C. I wish both wives well. Theirs are tough lives to live in many respects and I know they have loving partners and that is good news for them. 

Hugs.

I don't have a wife. I have a girlfriends, but its complicated right now. Not because of me being trans.  

[Heather Shay]

1 hour ago, Red_Lauren. said:

She said it has put her in early menopause her self. I feel bad for her in many ways, and I feel like crap my self. Because im taking the same hormones that almost killed her, and took away her breast.  While see gets to see grow breast, and see all the benefits. I know she's excited for me, and to see me change. I just worry that it might trigger some thing in her down the road. Which I don't want to do.

@Red_Lauren.- it's always human to think the best or worst case when thinking how others see things. But be rested assured - you personally should not feel bad that you get to take hormones and she can't. Each of you have different journey's and trials and tribulations - neither of your journeys are easy but if you both support each other that is the best you can do. Support her but don't feel bad because you are getting what you NEED. 

Hugs

[rainflower]

7 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Oh, she had the estrogen-eating marker too. It was the same with my wife, but she was already post-menopausal so they just let it go. That's actually caused a bit of friction with us because I can have estrogen and enjoy the benefits while she gets the hot-flashes.

Granted they put her through menopause twice while they were treating her endometriosis so she knew what to expect, but it makes her sad.

 

Hugs!

What's the estrogen eating marker?

[Red_Lauren.]

1 hour ago, Shay said:

@Red_Lauren.- it's always human to think the best or worst case when thinking how others see things. But be rested assured - you personally should not feel bad that you get to take hormones and she can't. Each of you have different journey's and trials and tribulations - neither of your journeys are easy but if you both support each other that is the best you can do. Support her but don't feel bad because you are getting what you NEED. 

Hugs

I think I feel so bad is because she was one of my first supporters., and she has kind of become the sister I never had. I know she dose support me. Judging by her reaction when I told her. She got all excited, and for the first time since I knew her. She gave me a big old hug. We do support each other. It just now easier for me to support her. As im part of the girls club now. I might not ever be a full fledged member, but supporting her will be easier now. I told her I was sorry I wasn't there 100% before, and that I didn't feel comfortable getting that close.  Because I was worried about her thinking I was trying to get in her pants. Of course me being the sarcastic person i am. I told her its not like I could fit in her pants anyway. We both laughed at that one, and she said I had nothing to worry about.  

1 hour ago, AwesomeClaire said:

What's the estrogen eating marker?

 From what I understand it a marker that you are a higher risk of certain cancer, and other things like diabetes. Both men and woman have these markers, and it can be found in people of all ages. 

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, AwesomeClaire said:

What's the estrogen eating marker?

 

Basically, the cancerous tumor was biopsied post-surgery and it's genetics analyzed. It was found to have estrogen as one of it's growth triggers so no more estrogen for my spouse. Her cancer doctor has THE most punchable face I've ever seen in a medical professional (seriously, he triggers a visceral reaction in me to go SHULK SMASH!), but he was right to say, "We do not feed the cancer."

 

Hugs!

[Bri2020]

On 3/7/2021 at 10:53 AM, AwesomeClaire said:

 So I found this Mary Kay and threw a pic in there and I almost cried. 

OMG- you just turned me on to the Mary Kay ap. It's amazing!  

[rainflower]

Oh ok, thanks. Glad you found it useful Bri