How did you choose your new name?

[LusciousTheLock]

When I first spoke with my counsellor about transitioning, I was told to go away and think of a new name for myself. For me it was the weirdest thing in the world. I had never even considered it before and it felt odd. How do you pick a name for yourself?  I was talking with my eldest daughter about the problem and how silly everything sounded to me. I still felt that some names were just too feminine and sickly to describe me...  Names ending in the "Eee" sound drove me insane and its all I could think of. StacY, CloE, TillY, DaisY, SammY etc.

 

Anyway, my daughter had a poll at school with her classmates... Now that was strange, 30, 15yr old's having a debate on a new name for someone's Dad! Out of 50 names chosen, it was cut down to 3. I really liked Tamsin. She sound's kinda evil, deviant, individual and mysterious!  My counsellor said no.  She told me that she knew why I picked it and after so many years of hiding from the truth, being myself should not be a "SIN".  I laughed, then suggested TamSYN instead and that's my name! And it still feels great every time I hear it too.

 

I only got a new middle name, the day I did my paperwork in February this year. I was with my wife, who was trying to hurry me along and there was a box for a middle name. I never considered that one either, the first name was hard enough. I suggested that as my wife, she should be the one to choose it. Well, after five minutes of deep thought, she wrote "Starr" in the box...

 

Sorry for the leg shot, but I would creatively self harm, by making a star with needle and ink then dive into a hot bath to get a rush from the pain. It looks prettier now I've gone over it a few times. Fortunately, I've not been compelled to do much more on this for about two years other than tidy it up, but might get in coloured at some point

 

So how did you lovely people come up with your names?

 

[Myles97]

Hi Tamsyn! 
love the name!!! My name is Myles. Originally when I came out to my partner we tried to find a name that started with the letter “e” because my dead name started with that letter. We thought it would be easiest and maybe help people transition with me easier. We tried Emmett, which I vetoed because I didn’t like the way it looked when I would sign that name in cursive. And while it sounded okay, I didn’t seem much like an “Emmett.” We then tried “Everett.” Again, a cool name but definitely not me. I liked “Elijah” or “Eli” for short a lot but that was one of my good friends middle names, and it didn’t fit me. So one night my partner and I were scrolling through names on google and just saying random ones out loud and then writing down our favorites. Then we came across Miles. I said it out loud and at first I didn’t like how it sounded - I have a southern accent and it kinda almost sounded like “maoz” at first when I said it. But it caught my partners attention and so she said “Miles” and when I heard her say it, it literally felt like it had been my name my entire life. Also, I grew up on Miles road, which was an extremely happy time in my life. My cousin and I lived next door to each other and most of our family lived on the road. It was a good time. So I switched the I with the letter Y to incorporate another letter from my dead name and to separate me from the road. Myles just fit. It feels like me. Also, my partner and some other folks used to call me Em for short, so now they can call me M ! Worked out perfect. 

[LusciousTheLock]

Its true what you say, some names just "Feel" right, while others don't. I was originally a James, so tried Jamie or even Jaime but in the end decided to distance myself. I also considered parents, grand parents names but Marlene, Elsie and Ethel were a strict Hell no! lol.

[Charlize]

My first thought was Sarah as that was the name my parents chose for the little girl they had wanted.  Instead my cousin got that name and i got stuck with Charles.  Later my son married a Sarah so that was definitely unusable.  My wife came up with Charlize shortly before my legal change.  Before then i called myself Charlie which was my user name here for some time.  Oh yes, back in the gay bar days i was Charlamaigne.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Kasumi63]

Thank you, Tamsyn, for introducing this great topic. I’m sure we’re going to get a lot of interesting stories.
 

As a (naturalized) Japanese, my situation is different because I use kanji (Japanese versions of Chinese characters), not letters to write my name. When you naturalize in Japan, you can choose ANY name (no middle names allowed, though), as long as the name can be written in Japanese, including kanji, hiragana, and katakana, but excluding Roman letters (the English alphabet). What’s great about Japanese is that the characters have meaning, apart from the sound. So you can literally create a name that you feel describes your nature—or desired nature.

 

When I legally change my gender, I’ll be able to change my given name again, so I chose “Kasumi,” for a few reasons. I love the sound (pronounced KAH-SUE-ME). I love the shape and look of the kanji. I love how it sounds in unison with my family name. I like that since it’s only one kanji, while my family name is three, so this will give me four kanji for my full name, which is the case for most Japanese. (My current name is five kanji.) And most importantly I like the meaning, which is “mist.” I feel this describes my indirect, mysterious, and vague way of being.

 

 

[LusciousTheLock]

Wow!

[Drayse]

I think I've mentioned it several times in previous threads, but I tried most of my names in gaming settings. When my therapist asked me if I had chosen a name I had already settled on Drayse. I've been Dot, Jacylene, Wisp, Tannia and various names I can't even remember, but only Drayse felt right. An old English rendition of dragon. I knew it was the right name as soon as I completed chargen and entered the game.

[MiraM]

I played online games for years, and always played as a female.  My avatars were always named Ilmira or some alternate spelling of that.  The people I played with eventually shortened it to Mira when online, so after many years of using that name, Ilmira was the only fit as a first name.  In everyday life though, I just go by Mira.  In Spanish it means look, and in latin, it means magical and is the root of miracle.  In Korean it means mummy, but is actually a Korean girls name.

 

I have also always been a huge LoTR and Hobbit fan, and my favorite character in the Hobbit movies was the she-elf Tauriele.  In high-elvish, it translates to “Daughter of the Forest”, and I chose that as my middle name.

 

My full name is now Ilmira Tauriele (insert last name here)

[LusciousTheLock]

My username on here LusciousTheLock was through online gaming. I played a warlock called Luscious for 15yrs. Thought it would be a terrible real name. Friends I've been playing with for years still call me "Lush" though. Always a female avatar too.

[rainflower]

I printed off a list of about 60 names and gave it to friends, family, and coworkers. I wanted to know how they saw me. I got a top 5 list going. Then, during my tabletop game group, I decided to try some names on. I had been stuck with the top 5 and while they were good names, they weren't really doing it. So I rolled the dice, some names came up that weren't in the top 5, and I tried them. The first couple didn't work, but when it came to Claire and I heard them call me that, it was very heartwarming and felt just right. I knew that was the one, and they agreed that it fit. And Claire wasn't even in my top 5, I hadn't seriously considered it. It also met my desire for a monosyllabic name that sounded feminine and not nasal.

[Jackie C.]

Ah yes, dice. The last resort of the gamer when you have no freaking clue.

 

I also used to game with a successful game artist. His parents picked out eight Scrabble tiles and made a name out of that. They ended up dropping three of the letters. He is eternally grateful.

 

I actually didn't pick the name I eventually settled on at first. My therapist put me on the spot one session and asked, "So, your deadname doesn't fit. What do you want me to call you?"

I panicked and named myself after my favorite Mass Effect character. To be fair, I admire her greatly and would love to be that sexy and confident in my day-to-day life. I kept that for three to four months before I settled on my actual name. It's a sort of variation on my deadname, but not really.

 

My birth name is (ugh) Robert. I never liked Robert. My dad is a huge history geek and named me after Robert the Bruce. Given enough time and therapy, I've forgiven him.

You feminize that and you get "Roberta." That's not a name. That's what you get when you're on the wrong end of a gypsy curse.

 

So after much soul-searching, I settled on Robyn. It fits. The 'y' is important. Robin is Batman's sidekick. That doesn't work for me at all.

Jack got me through a lot though so I keep her close to my heart. My middle name is Jacqueline. Also my forum name because I set it up when I was still using Jackie.

 

Hugs!

[Linda Marie]

My name, gosh. No no. Gosh, but gosh, my name.

 

Well when I was faced with what is your name, I had no name, all that is posted elsewhere here.

I picked Linda because, well not only do I like the name, but, also I never really knew a Linda in my life.

Safe bet for me. Marie comes from, well, it chimed with Linda.....Linda Marie

....Johnson.... is special, my mothers maiden name.

 

Lind Marie Johnson. 

 

[Ivy]

I might have mentioned this before but…

I do have some mixed feelings about "Jandi".  It actually comes from something my ex called me shortly after we separated and I came out to her.  It's sort of a combination of my given name (which I dislike) and "Andy", what I "went by" at the time.  She was kinda down on me at that point, and was insisting I should use my given name instead of a "fake" one.  Fortunately we've gotten past that now.  But I thought it sounded kinda fem, and started using it since I had nothing else.  But I'm not sure I would want that for an official legal name.  I mean, I'll still answer to it and all.

 

But now I'm wanting to make some official changes - name, gender marker - before the politics make it imposable.  So what to do?

 

Do I just feminize my birth name? or make a clean break?  The clean break has a lot going for it.  I do like "Ivy" a lot.  I have an ivy vine tattooed the length of my leg.  I guess I would still let people call me "Jandi" since that's what they call me now, if they want.  But really I don't know what to do yet.  But I do need to do something official.

[LusciousTheLock]

Ivy is a lovely name. I considered it myself    Not easy though is it? I was torn about leaving my old name behind, out of respect for those that had given it, and even mourned my old self. He was a lovely fella, always a bit anxious and out of place though...

[Willow McKenzie]

I chose the name WILLOW because it chose me.   I am Irish, Welsh, English, and Mohawk.   I woke up one day many years ago and it was in my head.    I've been nicknamed "Mister Wizard" for around 40 years and "Willow the Wizard" is pretty appropriate.   I am a female being but more non-binary.   The willow tree guards the entrance to the Faerie world and is strong and forgiving.  I am a earth spirit.   When I die my ashes go back to the compost pile.   Some days I feel sweet and pretty, other days I can be a strong blacksmith, but a willow can bend that way.   I'm splitting wood today, but I'm proudly not male.

   ---WILLOW the WIZARD---

[MelanieTamara]

Wow, there is no way I would ever answer this question. It is absolutely the most private thing in the world.

 

I see all those videos online about what to not ask a trans person, including the male name, and I think to myselft, "I don't care about answering any of those questions. None of that offends me on a one on one personal conversation basis. It's all just curiosity at the end of the day."

 

But the history of the name I'v chosen to move forward. No way.

[KathyLauren]

I wanted to keep my initials, and I didn’t want to have to learn a totally new signature, so it had to be a bit like my old name.  But it had to be unambiguously feminine.

 

Keith became Kathy.  I decided it would be short for Kathleen, rather than Katherine, because I am Irish, and Kathleen is the Irish version.  It was also my mother-in-law’s middle name, which got me some serious brownie points.  My middle name went from Lawrence to Lauren, a pretty obvious switch.

 

Both names are age-appropriate for my generation

[Aggie1]

14 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

My birth name is (ugh) Robert. I never liked Robert. My dad is a huge history geek and named me after Robert the Bruce. Given enough time and therapy, I've forgiven him.

You’re going to hate me! Best plug up your ears right now! My father named me Robert Bruce for the exact same reason. Ok you can take the plugs out now!

[DeeDee]

According to legend, my eldest sister chose my male name before I was born. When I first started questioning I randomly chose Sadie because this site asked for a name, but I knew it didn't fit. My niece used to call me DeeDee because she couldn't pronunce my male name and it had been heard and adopted as my nickname by my frisbee friends so when my sister suggested that I used it I really liked it. Sometimes I think it sounds to babyish and call myself Dee which seems a bit more mature (?‍♀️) but I genuinely don't mind either form. It also has the advantage of not having to learn a new signature or worry about my bank cards when I am out.

I am still thinking about a middle name that works with it though.

[Willow McKenzie]

18 hours ago, Jandi said:

.  I guess I would still let people call me "Jandi" since that's what they call me now, if they want.  But really I don't know what to do yet.  But I do need to do something official.

I have tagged you as Jandi and I like it.  But now that I know the rest of it, I understand your feelings.   I really like the name Ivy.  It is an old, earthy name with a lot of inner beauty.   I would be happy with that name.   I tried to go name hunting but Willow wouldn't let me.

   On the subject of what I let people call me, I just want them to feel comfortable around me and if dead-naming me makes them feel comfortable, then I just smile and answer.   They didn't ask for all this change.   As years of "E" and me have continued, My partner and my Mother prefer using Willow and usually she and her.

[Rebekah H]

The actual spelling of my name is Rebekah. It's a name I've loved since I was a kid so it was the most obvious, natural choice, nothing more complicated.

None of my online gaming names would have worked!

[SheenaT]

On 3/8/2021 at 2:17 AM, LusciousTheLock said:

When I first spoke with my counsellor about transitioning, I was told to go away and think of a new name for myself. For me it was the weirdest thing in the world. I had never even considered it before and it felt odd. How do you pick a name for yourself?  I was talking with my eldest daughter about the problem and how silly everything sounded to me. I still felt that some names were just too feminine and sickly to describe me...  Names ending in the "Eee" sound drove me insane and its all I could think of. StacY, CloE, TillY, DaisY, SammY etc.

 

Anyway, my daughter had a poll at school with her classmates... Now that was strange, 30, 15yr old's having a debate on a new name for someone's Dad! Out of 50 names chosen, it was cut down to 3. I really liked Tamsin. She sound's kinda evil, deviant, individual and mysterious!  My counsellor said no.  She told me that she knew why I picked it and after so many years of hiding from the truth, being myself should not be a "SIN".  I laughed, then suggested TamSYN instead and that's my name! And it still feels great every time I hear it too.

 

I only got a new middle name, the day I did my paperwork in February this year. I was with my wife, who was trying to hurry me along and there was a box for a middle name. I never considered that one either, the first name was hard enough. I suggested that as my wife, she should be the one to choose it. Well, after five minutes of deep thought, she wrote "Starr" in the box...

 

Sorry for the leg shot, but I would creatively self harm, by making a star with needle and ink then dive into a hot bath to get a rush from the pain. It looks prettier now I've gone over it a few times. Fortunately, I've not been compelled to do much more on this for about two years other than tidy it up, but might get in coloured at some point

 

So how did you lovely people come up with your names?

 

I always liked the name Sheena. Maybe because of Sheena Easton.

[BillieB]

I too chose to feminize my names and keep my initials. Bill became Billie, my legal which I am starting the paperwork for, William will become Wilma, middle name Richard will be Ricci. The reasoning for me other than keeping the initials is I have a bit of a hearing issue and keeping the same sounding nickname will mean I will recognize and respond quicker when someone calls for me rather than them have to repeat themselves and me realize oh they are calling me! ?

[Linda Marie]

I have already posted how I got my name but I didn't post some of the names

given me...oops...sorry... can't post them, they are NSFW. ?

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, Rebeccaa73 said:

None of my online gaming names would have worked!

 

I get that. People would look at me funny if I went around calling myself Maladie, Rahimateh, Duvessa or Neht for example. I might have been able to get away with Annwfn, but my mother's name is Ann, so that was out.

 

Hugs