Eating disorders and transitioning

[IseulK]

Good evening everyone,

 

I am in a bit of a spot.  I had engaged with bulimia and later anorexia over a year ago, very deeply.  As I became more underweight, my gender dysphoria eased up some.  Not like I could enjoy it of course.  I was very excited when my family scheduled a date for top surgery.  However, my family has since then discovered my eating disorder.  I have been in recovery for two months and am now a healthy weight.  My thoughts around food and my body have significantly improved but my mom is still concerned about the surgery.  I still want to lose weight, but the surgery is more important to me.  I can't explain that to her.  I can't explain gender dysphoria.  She says that I just need to learn to love myself.  As I am.  As you all know, for some trans folks, that just isn't quite possible.

If the surgery is cancelled, I know I'll relapse.  There would be no other way I could cope.  I have already tasted what it's like to have body that fits.  I can't explain all that.  I can, however, try to explain the benefits of a surgery.  Have any of you had any experiences regarding surgery and eating disorders?  Any comments would be most helpful.

 

Thank you!

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, IseulK said:

If the surgery is cancelled, I know I'll relapse.

Hello @IseulK, This statement is a bit of a concern. I can certainly understand how important getting the surgery is to your wellbeing. But it in itself shouldn’t be the glue that is holding you all together. Life has a way of introducing mayhem when we least expect. You need a way to be able to cope with these difficulties without the prospect of losing all the gains you previously made.

 

You mentioned having been in recovery for these eating disorders. Have you by chance seen a therapist specializing in eating disorders, gender issues or perhaps both? If not, you might look into this as an option. I do hope you are able to get this upcoming surgery completed and these potential issues will not impact your life. I would just try to be as prepared as you can if things don’t go quite as you had hoped and planned. I wish you the best.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Teri Anne]

I agree do not let a possible setback of top surgery cause you to give up on the progress you have made so far.

I deal with compulsive over eating disorder and from time to time it gets worse so I know how it can be.

I understand how having your body match how you feel inside but if for whatever reason it doesn't happen as soon as you would like it to is not a reason to give up on progress you have made.

When I had my top surgery done I felt like they were too small and wasn't 100% happy but now that I am a lot heavier my boobs have grown to a very nice size and I am quite happy with them.