Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello, looking for answers


Kali

Recommended Posts

Hi! I'm Kali and I'm 14 years old, I am biologically a female but have been feeling like I want to be a male for a while. I first thought I was non-binary but I don't think that label fits me. I was doing some research on how other people realized they were trans and I'm confused. A lot of people say that they knew when they were younger or there were signs when they were younger like they didn't like toys or clothes that were stereotypically for their assigned gender but I never went through that. I was always a very "girly" person, I loved dresses, skirts, makeup, etc.. as a kid. Now that I am a bit older I still like those typical "girly" things but I don't feel like a girl. If I am transgender I think I would be a more feminine boy and that's what is making me re-think what I am feeling, I'm worried that this could just be a phase. I don't feel comfortable in my own body, I hate it and I don't know what to do. I also can't tell if I genuinely want to be a man or if I just find them attractive. I feel extremely uncomfortable when people use she/her pronouns for me but I don't have anybody I trust enough to ask to use he/him pronouns to experiment with. I just want to figure out who I am because I'm having a really hard time. I am hoping somebody on here could help me.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi, Kali.  Welcome!

 

Your best bet is to start talking to a gender therapist to help you understand what you are feeling.  I understand that, being legally a minor, that could involve some negotiating with your parents.  I hope that process goes well for you.

 

It is quite common for trans people not to know that they are trans until later.  I didn't start to wonder about my gender until I was in my 30s or 40s.  For people assigned female at birth, the most common age to start becoming aware of it is right around or just after puberty.  The hormones hit, and your brain goes, "Whoa, wait a second there!"

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hey @Kali! My first suggestion would be to find a gender therapist at your earliest convenience to help you through this. While we're friendly, supportive and have tons of experience we can't give you a diagnosis.

 

Now with that out of the way, the most important definition is that you're a human and a Kali. We don't fit into easy boxes. It can take a minute to figure out who we are. Our rule of thumb is that if you're questioning your gender, you're probably not cis.

 

So yeah, welcome! We're glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Welcome Kali! As another new to taking the gender journey I feel your confusion. The advice to see a gender therapist given already is a great place to start, along with the great support & advice I've found here.

 

Welcome,

Delcina

Link to comment

Hi @Kaliand welcome to the group! It's great to have you here! I would echo the comment above about seeing a gender therapist which would be super helpful to you in your journey. Also, you will find a ton of answers and support here so feel free to post often and reach out along the way. That is what we all do and what we're here for. Bless you! ❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Kali,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

From my experience, when we first realize we aren't cis gender, we feel in a rush to put a label on ourselves, which leads to a lot of stress and anxiety. You will read here about this being a journey. It's not a journey that Scotty from Star Trek can beam you to your destination in a moments time. It's more like a road trip that takes time to travel. The best advice I can give is advice I've been given. Just slow down and be yourself. Don't worry about slapping a label on yourself today. Give it time and the answers will come. This is what I did and it made a very positive difference.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

I'm similar to you Kali, I didn't start exploring being female until I was about 17. When I was younger I would try to act like a girl around my male friends and I wanted to be their girlfriend, but that was about it. Otherwise I liked gory movies, GI Joe, and playing army, I didn't mind playing house tho, or incorporating Barbie, or helping my friends clean their rooms, I just did whatever. I was interested in fashion and how people dressed, and wanted to wear clothes that flattered my figure. I didn't have strong feelings that it was wrong that I was a boy. Realizing that I wanted to actually be a woman hit at about 17, after all the changes from puberty I was disgusted at the outcome, all the facial and body hair, the masculine look to my face and body, no breasts. But with the shame and guilt I hid that for a long time until I finally hatched at age 36. 

You might want to watch The Transition Channel on YouTube, it helped me sort out some of my thoughts and feelings.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 112 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Heather Shay
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      Had a weird dream last night.
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning, y'all. Evening here; we had the regulation three mugs full today. Now it's time to drink something else.     No big plans here either, eldest daughter and granddaughter will be arriving on Saturday, and we will have our granddaughter to ourselves for a week after that. We still have plans though. Tuesday we'll go to the swim center, Wednesday we'll take a road trip to visit my mom, Thursday we'll get some mulch delivered to top up the gardens.   I still make other small plans on a daily basis though. The things I do plan nowadays, which is a bit new for me, is that after pinching a nerve and ending up in a bit of pain and getting some treatment from the physio, I am more motivated than ever to exercise more regularly. Tuesday for example, I went for a short (15 minute) early morning walk, went to the pool for some hydrotherapy, and mowed the lawns. Yesterday I did my exercise reps and spent some time on the exercise bike. Today, I went for a 45-minute walk, tomorrow I will do my reps again and go for a long bike ride. As long as I do at least one thing every day, right? The pleasing thing is that I'm losing weight! I blew out to above 95kg early in the year and I'm just under 91kg now. Yay me!
    • Heather Shay
      What one piece of advice would you give to beginning transitioners or considering transition?
    • Heather Shay
      Positive side of the mixed bag.
    • Heather Shay
      Boredom is an emotional state that comes when a person has nothing to do, and is not interested in anything. To stop boredom, most people do something to occupy or amuse themselves. The first known use of the word boredom is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens, written in 1852, but the saying to be a bore had been used to mean "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768. When referring to the mind, boredom is a bad state in which the person feels a deep lack of interest in what is going on around them, and where it is hard to focus.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
      ^ Your story gives inspiration to others.
    • April Marie
      Growing stronger and confident every day.
    • April Marie
      So, yesterday's epiphany was that girl jeans fit me much nicer than boy jeans. Well, duh! So this girl is switching over to wearing girl jeans pretty much full time. I'll keep my others for work jeans. We went out to dinner last evening and I was in androgynous mode...wearing a pair of Bandolino Amy straight leg denim pants. Score!
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! The coffee upload has started for me but just in the early stages so I'm barely coherent at this point.   You've been missed @Willow - I hope all is going well with your wife and at work.   @awkward-yet-sweet We love to make beans with rice - one of our favorite meals.   No big plans for me today. Small projects around our place and probably some reading. We're going to have some rain off and on, and the temps are still too low for a lot of outdoor work.   Be safe and enjoy this beautiful day we've been given!!
    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...