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hello, can anyone help me please? I want childeren but I don't know if it's possible


Sanne123

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Sanne123

Are there any transwomen here that started hormones but didn't freeze anything but still wanted kids eventually?

I still have a very high voice and am completely passable as a girl. And the fertility doctor said that i have to stop hormones for at least 3 months before they can freeze it and that there is no way around it. It can't be less than 3 months they said.. but I'm pretty sure that in 3 months my voice will drop and I really really don't want that..

 

So my question is;  Is there anyone here that stopped hormones to get childeren? how long did you have to stop with the hormones before you produced something usable and they could start the freezing?

 

I really want kids, its my biggest dream but if I have to stop 3 months I can't take the risk of losing my high voice and be misgendered forever.. :(

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AwesomeClaire

I never really wanted my own biological kids, but I'll speak up if you don't mind.

Are you saying that you started HRT before puberty and thickening of your vocal cords? I'm assuming that's what you mean by still having a high voice? If that is the case, you are pretty lucky to have your voice like that, a vast majority of us have to work with thickened vocal cords and it really sucks. 

If they say 3 months, then it is 3 months. You would have to talk to your doctor about the effects of stopping for 3 months and what that might do to your voice. It may just end up being a really difficult decision you have to make, sorry.

 

 

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Jackie C.

Depends on how long it's been. You might not recover testicular function to produce viable sperm no matter how long you stop HRT. Mine were surprisingly resilient for producing T, but I had a vasectomy when I was 24 so I couldn't tell you about sperm production.

 

So with that in mind, do they have to be your biological kids? I mean there's a lot of kids out there who could really use a loving mom for one reason or another. Just because their DNA didn't come out of you, doesn't mean they're not still your kids, y'know?

 

Hugs!

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Sanne123

yes they have to be my biological kids...

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AwesomeClaire
4 hours ago, Sanne123 said:

yes they have to be my biological kids...

Then it sounds like you need to go off hrt for 3 months, if you still have spermogenesis.

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VickySGV
On 4/4/2021 at 9:28 AM, Sanne123 said:

I really want kids, its my biggest dream but if I have to stop 3 months I can't take the risk of losing my high voice and be misgendered forever.

 

I work with a world known Chorus of Trans people and voices are something we know about quite well and you need to get off the notion that a perfectly high pitched voice is the only way you can be assured of passing.  We have Baritone voiced Trans women who are never questioned about their gender, and likewise Soprano and Alto Trans men who do as well and are fully their true gender. The chorus has been together for six years by now, and a couple of us have had to stop hormones even longer than your window there due to other medical issues and since parts of our voices, and yours, are the result of training there have been no problems that way.  You will be off HRT for nearly 3 months anyway for major surgeries, so it is going to happen.  Which do you want more?  I am being realistic not evil by putting it that way, but by making one choice, well that is the choice you make and not the other.  You say your stopping HRT to become a sperm donor is not an option, than sadly having the genetic children is also not an option.  Is it?  Learning to speak in female voice and vocabulary patterns is a couple of hundred times more important than pitch.  I am second tenor which is a bit deep by some standards and it has been nearly 20 years before anyone who sees my face thinks I am a male.  You seem to have made your choice though, so why am I still typing?

 

Please go and talk to your Gender Therapist about this.

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AwesomeClaire
3 hours ago, Sanne123 said:

but that is just not an option..

Then you don't have biological children. We can do this all day ;) I get that you are stuck and it's a hard decision, but I think you just need to talk to your medical providers, get informed about what the 3 months off will do to your voice, and then make your decision. We support you either way.

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