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I'm not sure If I'm Non-binary or Trans (FtM) Someone Please Help.

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Hi, So I'm stuck between the question of whether I'm trans or not I currently identify as non-binary (Bigender) but, ever since then I've been feeling like a guy I'm not sure If I'm avoiding the possibility of being trans by covering it with the title of non-binary. But, I don't mind sort of being a guy the only thing that's apart of what's been confusing me is I don't feel comfortable with having male parts even though sometimes I draw myself with facial hair, I've been confused with this for a while and I was hoping maybe someone could give me their opinion or maybe some suggestions to what they may think I might be. Maybe with those suggestions I could research and think if that suggestion matches my description. I'm just hoping for some answers I'm consumed by my confusion I'm hoping someone could help and ease my mind. Hopefully then I could know what I identify truly as. It's fine if anyone still believes I may be non-binary I was just wanting an outside perspective. I'm just stuck with this it's been affecting my school work, and my mental health. Someone please help it'd be much appreciated!

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  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.

OK, so here's the deal. First off, you're fourteen. You have lots and lots of time to figure yourself out. Secondly, internalized transphobia is a real thing so yeah, your brain could be playing tricks. I was just looking at a study that said something like 65% of self-reported trans individuals were bullied at school. I mean who wants a bite of THAT apple. Thirdly, none of us are qualified to give you a diagnosis. Fourthly, don't worry about labels. They aren't important. Trans-ness and being non-binary exist on this huge, beautiful spectrum. There's no way to put all of that in a box. Boxes make you small. Don't let anybody make you small.


So on that third point. You need to find a gender therapist. You're a minor, so that's going to require going through your parental units (or maybe school if they're super progressive and you live in a wealthy district, ask your counselor). Be careful with this step. Not all therapists are created equal and you can absolutely ask for another one if you aren't getting along with the first therapist you end up with. Once you find a therapist you click with, you can start getting to the bottom of your gender identity issues.


In the meantime, here's a book my therapist suggested for me: You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery. I'd get the paperback version. It doubles as a workbook and it's hard to write in a Kindle. 😜 This is a deeply personal thing. The only one who can tell you who you really are is you. A good gender therapist can help you figure that out. Good luck and in the meantime, we're here to answer questions and lend an ear.




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Thanks for the advice I'll be sure to use it! 


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Thanks I'll check it out! 

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