Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I'm not sure If I'm Non-binary or Trans (FtM) Someone Please Help.


Recommended Posts

Taylor_The_Human

Hi, So I'm stuck between the question of whether I'm trans or not I currently identify as non-binary (Bigender) but, ever since then I've been feeling like a guy I'm not sure If I'm avoiding the possibility of being trans by covering it with the title of non-binary. But, I don't mind sort of being a guy the only thing that's apart of what's been confusing me is I don't feel comfortable with having male parts even though sometimes I draw myself with facial hair, I've been confused with this for a while and I was hoping maybe someone could give me their opinion or maybe some suggestions to what they may think I might be. Maybe with those suggestions I could research and think if that suggestion matches my description. I'm just hoping for some answers I'm consumed by my confusion I'm hoping someone could help and ease my mind. Hopefully then I could know what I identify truly as. It's fine if anyone still believes I may be non-binary I was just wanting an outside perspective. I'm just stuck with this it's been affecting my school work, and my mental health. Someone please help it'd be much appreciated!

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.

OK, so here's the deal. First off, you're fourteen. You have lots and lots of time to figure yourself out. Secondly, internalized transphobia is a real thing so yeah, your brain could be playing tricks. I was just looking at a study that said something like 65% of self-reported trans individuals were bullied at school. I mean who wants a bite of THAT apple. Thirdly, none of us are qualified to give you a diagnosis. Fourthly, don't worry about labels. They aren't important. Trans-ness and being non-binary exist on this huge, beautiful spectrum. There's no way to put all of that in a box. Boxes make you small. Don't let anybody make you small.

 

So on that third point. You need to find a gender therapist. You're a minor, so that's going to require going through your parental units (or maybe school if they're super progressive and you live in a wealthy district, ask your counselor). Be careful with this step. Not all therapists are created equal and you can absolutely ask for another one if you aren't getting along with the first therapist you end up with. Once you find a therapist you click with, you can start getting to the bottom of your gender identity issues.

 

In the meantime, here's a book my therapist suggested for me: You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery. I'd get the paperback version. It doubles as a workbook and it's hard to write in a Kindle. 😜 This is a deeply personal thing. The only one who can tell you who you really are is you. A good gender therapist can help you figure that out. Good luck and in the meantime, we're here to answer questions and lend an ear.

 

Hugs!

 

Link to post
Taylor_The_Human

Thanks for the advice I'll be sure to use it! 

 

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Taylor_The_Human

Thanks I'll check it out! 

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 52 Guests (See full list)

    • Delcina B
    • Elizabeth Star
    • KymmieL
    • Jandi
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      73,972
    • Total Posts
      683,507
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      8,373
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Stevenator_too
    Newest Member
    Stevenator_too
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. MariPosa
      MariPosa
      (62 years old)
  • Posts

    • Becoming Jordan
      Congrats Shay
    • Elizabeth Star
      Thanks Maddee. I have plans to make another one, in black this time. 
    • miz miranda
      How does substituting one form of bigotry for another help improve society? I find the concept of privilege to be 'acceptable prejudice'  that has been driven by political ideology. There is no question that there are significant inequalities in the world. There isn't a simple cause nor a simple solution. My goal is to have evidence before I judge someone. Human beings are extremely tribal thus less trusting of those that are different and reluctant to stray from their tribes world view.   I think we confuse entitlement with privilege. I worked in technology in the 70s, 80s and 90s when it was almost entirely a male field. In my personal experience, I was guilty of having preconceptions about women in technology that I learned over time were just bias. I preferred working with women because they more likely to discuss issues than dictate the solution. I did discover that those men that behaved with what we would now term privilege were mostly viewed with the same dislike by the women and men I worked with.
    • Janae
      Congrats Shay!   Hugs   Janae
    • Ellie Jean
      That's a bleak and dismal view of humanity; I don't buy it personally. Like I said, every group has upsides and downsides. One of the downsides of being a male is that it's only socially acceptable to feel three emotions; "Fine/Okay", "Angry" or "-excited-". If you express any other emotion, society labels you a wuss lol. ALL groups have upsides, downsides, good qualities and bad qualities. That's the nature of duality; that's the nature of yin and yang, that's the fundamental nature of the whole Universe. Trying to say any one group is "more" or "less" is....illogical lol. Especially in America where all Americans have the same Bill of Rights under the same Constitution.  One of the downsides of being white for example is that anyone who isn't white will probably automatically think you're a racist just because of the color of your skin; happens to me all the time. Didn't used to. I wonder why??? Kidding lol. I know exactly why racism against white people is on the rise. (Identity politics. It's divisive lol.) Hell, look at our school system (what's left of it.) A lot of teachers are leaving because of the "Critical Race Theory" bull crap that's being forced on them, because, for some baffling reason lol, teachers just aren't comfortable with teaching kids that there's something wrong with the color of their skin. They don't want to tell black kids that they'll never be good enough in the eyes of society. They don't want to tell white kids that they're inherently racist because of what their ancestors did hundreds of years ago. Why don't they want to teach kids these things? Because it's racist, and Contrary to what the left would have you believe, America isn't a racist country. The left is definitely a racist party though if you ask me; all they ever see is race lmao. And it's disgusting. They don't judge people based on the quality of their character; they judge them based on their race and gender...so they're SEXIST too lmao.  I know I'm probably a minority in my beliefs. I know it's dangerous to share my opinion. I don't care.  Nowadays it's dangerous to be anything but a super "woke" liberal socialist lol. Anyone with a different viewpoint is just a racist lmao. "Worse than Hitler!" 😆🙄 PS: Yeah, people in my country at least DID see other people as people. At least they did before Obama started telling everyone race was still a serious issue...despite becoming friggin' PRESIDENT lmao. XD I gotta love the hypocritical irony; just gotta laugh at it sometimes lol. Like when Biden said masks work but walls don't. That cracked me up lmao. XD Anyhoo....yeah, this country gonna get ran into the ground now. I'm just sitting back with a bucket of popcorn waiting for the new Civil War to begin so I can run for the hills to avoid my fate in the concentration camps lol.  
    • Mary Jane
      ive tried before (with cousins) plus kind of with parents but nothing is working and i talked to a therapist before while i was feeling too different but that just led to talk to a therapist that like specializes in trauma because of how shy i can be   ive heard once before from an online friend i had before that each of us needs to take care of our selves the most not seek help. thats true but each one of us does need help too   but thinking back to before i was open i never needed help and im trying to not need help like before
    • Maddee
      No denial-I like the sweater.  The fact you made it is plus+ 👍
    • Maddee
      Like the alchemy btw
    • Maddee
      Congratulations Heather sister Shay 😊
    • rainflower
      Also I do care, I just am not in a position to help you, I was thinking someone like a parent or sibling.
    • rainflower
      Ok Mary, then you need to tell someone that cares about you and get help, either thru hotline or hospital.
    • rainflower
      Don't be blind to the issues, there is privilege based on race/sex/ethnicity/gender/economic status etc. and others suffer for it. There has never been a time in recorded history were people saw other people as people, the only difference is now these things are getting labels and brought into the light to be confronted.
    • Maddee
      I sang a lot to cope.   Avoided manu passages of man life.  Didn't want to walk through them I guess.   Not surrendering to being entirely "normal" (as I percieved it) helped me.    My life matrix aided and abetted my escapade.  Especially prior to coming to terms and committing to transitioning.   That last part may sound strange, but Im not sure how else to express it..
    • Carolyn Marie
      Thank you for sharing the story, @Jandi.  It is unfortunate but entirely expected that such stories as yours will not play well in conservative-leaning communities.  Times change as well as attitudes, however slowly; the acceptance of gay marriage being the most obvious example.  Yet,  there are people who wish to roll back the clock on even that.  They will not succeed, because people have seen that gay marriages have not "destroyed the institution of marriage" as some predicted.  They will also come to see that trans people are not scary, and deserve equality and respect.  But it will take time.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Jani
      Welcome to the forum.  Obviously we do not condone self medication of any kind so I'm glad to read you've stopped.   Going on HRT will provide the benefits you desire as you've seen.  As your hair is fine now you might wait to see how it goes.  Time to start Electrology!  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...