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my introduction :)


puppetland

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hello all...

found this site and registered an account on a whim around 1 or 2 in the morning. i came out to my family i think a little over a year ago. i use a "preferred name" at school, which was easy because my college has a form you can fill out which then automatically implements the change on your account. however part of the reason i sought out a place like this was to ask about names because i'm not sure it feels right. so for right now i don't have a name to give you. i started testosterone the 29th of march. i managed to get over my fear of needles to self-inject by convincing myself knowing how was hard or cool or something, haha. almost all of my friends are also trans, my therapist is trans, and i suspect the nurse who taught me how to inject. despite all of this support, my family is transphobic in that way where they don't think they are and frequently say ugly and hurtful things. do you know what i mean? i have internalized a lot of their beliefs and being visibly trans has made me realize that and it makes me sad. it's particularly sad to me because i'm also gay, and i don't have issues like that with that part of myself. i'm not really very connected to this community and i'm hoping that by getting involved even in a small way, i will be able to feel proud of my identity instead of ashamed.

 

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome puppetland (until your name finds you),

 

Names can be interesting to figure out - sometimes they just appear, other times someone comes up with one, sometimes it's the other gender equivalent to your old name. Try different ones on and see which fits best TO YOU.

 

You have found a wonderful forum with people your age and with similar backgrounds and those who have been there longer and gained more wisdom and experience. Ask a lot of questions and you will find answers that are honest, forth right and listeners who really care.

 

Thanks for joining us,

 

Shay

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6 hours ago, puppetland said:

hello all...

, i will be able to feel proud of my identity instead of ashamed.

 

Welcome puppetland! I'm sure you will find the right name. I looked for one sounding close to my given name with a meaning that felt right. 

 

I spent years feeling ashamed, thinking something was wrong with me, but that isn't it at all. Societal norms put me in a binary box I didn't fit in. Finding people here who care & accept me as I am are helping break down the box. 

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi puppetland,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

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Welcome yet to be named ;)

I remember there was a thread all about "why did you pick your name" you might search on.  As for the feeling guilt about internalized transphobia, it's actually quite common.  I still battle it even though I've totally accepted I'm trans.  50 plus years of social conditioning and parental influence is hard to shake.  I avoided anything associated with Pride, transgender media, people, events even though before coming out I considered myself pretty woke and an ally  to all.  But we often do that when trying to avoid the truth of ourselves it seems.  Certainly something to talk with your therapist about.  I'm glad you joined us here and hope you can find answers and community here.

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