Is be and want the same?

[Kenma_kozume]

I really want to be a man. I don't feel like a massive euphoria for being referred as a man, but it feels nice and so comfy. It feels so great and awesome. 

But i don't feel like one. In first place, how do i know if i feel like a man? i've seen trans ppl who say the always felt like their prefered gender, but how do u know it? Is there a feeling for being a woman, man or neither? 

Maybe i feel like a man and i don't realize it. But i know i want to be a man, i want it. But i'm not sure if i'm one

 

[Jackie C.]

Not necessarily?

 

Here's the thing: Being trans has a lot to do with not feeling comfortable in your own skin. For example, when I was growing up, I did boy stuff. Not really because I was into boy stuff, but I wanted friends and my friends were doing boy stuff. I fit in better with the girls, but I wasn't allowed because it was the 70's. I did some light crossdressing when I was younger, got the snot beaten out of me for it (because it was the 70's) and tried to push all those feelings down. Little by little they came back and I eventually transitioned into the hot mess you see in my portrait. ?

 

So, the watch-word is; "do what you need to do to feel, like you said, nice and comfy." There are different levels of dysphoria and the dysphoria monster strikes at you in different ways at different times because of course it does. For me it was a slow, eroding depression. For other people it's sharper and more insistent.

 

My advice to you would be to... if it's safe... come out to one or both parents and see about finding a gender therapist to help you work through these feelings. Maybe it's as simple as dressing more masculine and keeping your hair short (I know a lovely person from group who is like that). Maybe you need some medical intervention (but you're very young so it would just be puberty blockers at the most at this point. Don't get me wrong, I would have committed war crimes for puberty blockers when I was your age). Again, the trick is figuring out what YOU need to be comfortable, then doing that.

 

Hugs!

[KathyLauren]

1 hour ago, Kenma_kozume said:

Is there a feeling for being a woman, man or neither?

 

Man and woman are not feelings.  The test is not whether or not you "feel like" a man.  The test is, when you present as a man and are accepted as a man, do you feel happier?  The feeling is not man/woman; it is happy/unhappy.

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

Man and woman are not feelings. 

I would agree.

 Speaking for myself, I don't know what it is to feel like a man - or a woman.   All I know is what it feels like to be me.   And when I dress and live as a woman it makes me happy.

[rainflower]

I guess I am the exception so far, I have always felt like a girl, and it is hard to explain that, it's not really an intellectual thing, just a feeling. And then presenting as a girl relaxes me, makes me feel whole, I can be myself, it just feels so right. 

In your case you are unsure about the feeling, but it seems like you enjoy being male? Are there things about your female attributes that really do not like?

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, AwesomeClaire said:

And then presenting as a girl relaxes me, makes me feel whole, I can be myself, it just feels so right. 

Yeah, this.