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Porn + transgenderism?


Natalie99

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Natalie99

Hi all,

 

I have a bit awkward topic here, but I have to talk about my doubts.

I want to know how much impact can porn have on dyphoria, transition, sexuality.

From my childhood I remember wishing that I was born female (I am AMAB), and wanting to be a girl, wanting sex as a woman. I even said that sex and masturbation must be so much better for women (when I was around 9 or 10 lol).

 

Then around 13 I started watching porn. I always looked at women and how pretty they were, but I also imitated their gestures. I was just attracted to and admired their beauty, wasn't imagining doing anything with them. Then once I thought "I could be a woman!" and started imagining I was that woman who I watched.

 

What do you think, how much impact does porn have on transgenderism? Maybe it helps figuring out what we are and also what we are attracted to?

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JustKate

I think you have to look at it from another perspective and your thoughts.

 

Would a cis guy see attractive women in porn and think "I could be a woman"? I mean I'm sure they have some sexual fantasies about being a lesbian for a day.

But, when all is said and done, they want to be a man.

 

I do know that quite a common fantasy amongst the trans women I know before they transitioning was to be a "sissy" and liked porn like that.

 

Do I think it could change someone's gender impression? Maybe at surface level, but deep down, cis people want to be cis even if they have periods of time where they are influenced by outside issues.

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Natalie99

Yes, you are right. Gender comes from deep inside. Thank you for your answer, girl!

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VickySGV

Pornography, especially the pictures of women in the nude, and even involved in sex action do show nice looking women in them who are presented with overtones of sexuality. As part of my career in business law enforcement I met some of them from time to time.  The same women also modeled for "non-porn" magazines and looked just a good without the sexual connotation and were just as beautiful in clothing and just as interesting to me as role models in those cases as the porn.  Cis males are looking at them in either place with the sexual connotation, I was not.  A role model is only effective when the role is one you find you must take on and you get them AFTER you decide it is for you, even if it is slight and hidden from your conscious world.  Porn gave you some idea of how you want to be, but did not INFECT you with being Trans.

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rainflower

I don't think it would have any impact, honestly. I think porn influences people in other ways for sure, but I don't think it impact gender.

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Natalie99

Thank you! Yes, I think that it doesn't influence my gender, but may have an impact on how I want to look like and behave as a woman.

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Charlize

Oddly while before or early on living full time as myself i would have agreed with you transition changed my attitudes regarding porn and sexuality.  Many things about transition seemed sexually attractive to start but today affection and caring for others in a loving relationship has become primary.  Sexuality has become more a way too express those feelings.

One reason i loved this site early on was due to seeing other trans folks in non pornographic roles.  Prior to finding it all i had seen was cis or trans porn and while that may be a part of my life we are not simply  sexual objects.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Whew!  this topic opens a Pandora's box of emotions and desires that had truly confused me for most of my life journey .. all the way up until I found this Forum and therapy.


I always felt (or assumed) my need to dress and express a feminine persona was a sexual perversion that had no specific destination other than immediate gratification .. until I realized that was just a temporary gratification.  So feelings of shame and guilt (of which porn was a big part) masked what was really going on.  After being able to closet crossdress for 4 or 5 years and using porn as a tool in that process I realized that I was not solving anything and I was definitely not dealing with the root cause .. my unexpressed gender identity.


It was even difficult for me to find anything online wrt to crossdressing or transgender that was not porn related .. Until I stumbled on this Forum and realized I identified with the stories and experiences of so many Members here .. and it had nothing to do with sexual desires/porn .. it was a human connection.  That made all the difference.

 

Now, I can say, since I have come to accept my transfeminine identity it has broadened and opened my sexual self-awareness and what/who attracts me.  I prefer women still (I would say almost exclusively) but now its more about the feminine aspects of women and not necessarily their looks or sexuality.  The phrase I dont "want" her .. I want to "be" her would probably fit this narrative. 

Well .. I could go on and on .. but to me its an interesting topic more to the point of the wonder of our self-discovery and self-acceptance.

 

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VickySGV

 The Porn industry  is an actual, fully recognized part of the entertainment industry that uses  professional filming, audio, set decorations, directors and writers on up, and has significant investors financing its work who make decent profits on those investments.  It is done in studios as elaborate and stocked as your daily family television or movie shows, and may even be shot in the exact same studio building as the "family shows" use. If you talk to the actors and personnel, they speak the same technical language and feel the same as their counterparts in the family productions, the big thing is that to them IT'S A JOB and it is acting, and not real life, it is creating a fantasy world where the audience is erotically affected and the acting is in ways know to do that.  The other shows use different acting to achieve other feelings is simply the difference.

 

For many many years Porn has been the ONLY outlet for movies involving Trans or Cross Dressing characters, and did in fact employ actual Trans People in acting and production roles, I have met some of them over time and as Trans people they are only incidentally connected to their screen life in their private life.  The fact that it was porn fantasy was a sorry issue, because it was the only market for Trans Themed entertainment, and this is what all too much of society was saw our conditions as.  We were seen as sex objects and only motivated by the sexual element.  The fact that merely seeing something different will give any of us erotic reactions, and sadly our misinterpretation of the erotic reactions for being sexual lust lead to Trans as lustful sex.  The fact that the same body reaction  can be found in horror movies where a gruesome murder is occurring by two grotesque and only semi human villains on each other is lost.  Still pornography with exaggerated sex was the only common outlet the public has had with the Trans Community.  The Porn industry was our "Press Agent and Publicity Manager" for much too long and Cis conservatives are still undere the impression that they are.  The Bible Belt area of the U.S. is documented to be one of the greatest consumer regions of the U.S. for all Porn including Trans "Entertainment".

 

In the last 10 years there has been the entry of actual Trans themed shows that more correctly show Trans people IRL.  I was a Background Artist (Extra) in the series Transparent in two shows and am friends with the production staff who were talented Trans actors directors and writers in every sense of the word.  Transparent was still relegated to "over 18" audiences but was not hardcore porn per se.  We are breaking barriers on age now, and there are and have been films portraying us in a positive light that have helped many emerging Trans youth find comfort in their bodies and lives and which have portrayed us as common good neighbors in daily life.  Some people sadly do want those positive films classed as child abuse and not for view by anyone other than a perverted adult. but we are coming along.

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Beatriz

Interesting topic, @Natalie99 and interesting insights @VickySGV.

 

I can relate to many of the things that @KayC mentions: thinking that what I did was a perversion, realizing there was more to it than that, identifying with the female, etc. Many years ago, thinking I might be gay, I checked gay porn and found it absolutely not the thing for me!

 

Ultimately, I found that porn left me empty. To me it felt like a drug: fake nice while it lasted and not very nice afterwards. It was like an outlet for doing occasionally, as a hidden thing, what I want to do all the time. I felt it wasn't helping me and I stopped. Perhaps I need to accept myself better and be myself much more before having a healthier approach to porn.

 

PS: I love it how you can discuss any topic in this forum and, on top, get some insights and enlightment from whatever is being discussed. You are all wonderful!

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Natalie99

Thank you for sharing your experiences and views on it, you are really helping me!

@KayC I've been through what you told here. But I've done it for 8 years.

I think that porn has a good side and bad side too. Good side is, it helps you figure out your feelings and is an indicator that something is going on, so you can start somewhere. However, it makes it more difficult to know exactly what is going on with you, and it happens that you think it is just a perversion. (Then why is it coming back again and again?...)

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