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Self Hate


Taylor_The_Human

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Taylor_The_Human

Hi everyone, I'm so sorry for bothering you all since I always feel selfish for doing this but I've been really negative towards myself lately. I feel disgusted and sorry for myself. I look at the mirror and feel like vomiting or even killing myself, I always feel like I'm the reason no one likes me, and I just really feel upset and negative towards myself in general. I'm not sure why and I'm not sure how to explain it... The best I could try to would be like a deep hate like how you'd feel towards horrible people like murders and rapists.. It's so irritating and I wish it'd stop I used to be a very positive person but now I just hate everything about myself. I'm not sure if it's issues I have or if it's dysphoria. I'm also always scared that if I mess something up then everyone will leave me like how 2 positive or negative magnets repel. I feel down doing any activity and feel unmotivated to do anything really. I think and know I'm pathetic but I don't see how to change this. I'm sorry for sounding so selfish.. I know people have worse problems and I'm probably being sensitive. But does anyone else feel like this.. ? I'm honestly curious, because I feel alone and like an alien with these issues. Please share any advice. 

 

Thank you,

-Taylor

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Jackie C.

Sure. Low self-esteem and internalized transphobia is a pretty potent witch's brew. You sound like you're suffering from high-functioning depression or something similar. That was basically me. Outside I'm happy and bubbly. Inside I'm a seething mess of self-hate. It's not that uncommon. I've seen cartoons.

 

Unfortunately, getting past it is a process. It takes time to learn self-acceptance and turn it around. Self-love is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I strongly suggest finding a good therapist and coming to vent whenever you feel like you need to. It's what we're here for!

 

Hugs!

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Mary Jane

Yep I've felt this even now, I don't know how I keep going or why but there's things that just won't let me give up not till I really 100% mean it and you aren't being selfish everyone's problem can't be measured and compared by the problem they can only be measured and compared by how the person feels 

 

And remember that other post you did searching for friends? You don't need to worry about me leaving you because I give multiple chances, in fact I'm practically friends with someone that used to bully me thanks to it. There's better people to be friends with than me but I'm always an option at least

 

And sorry that I can't say more

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Taylor_The_Human
On 5/11/2021 at 11:24 AM, Jackie C. said:

Sure. Low self-esteem and internalized transphobia is a pretty potent witch's brew. You sound like you're suffering from high-functioning depression or something similar. That was basically me. Outside I'm happy and bubbly. Inside I'm a seething mess of self-hate. It's not that uncommon. I've seen cartoons.

 

Unfortunately, getting past it is a process. It takes time to learn self-acceptance and turn it around. Self-love is one of the hardest lessons to learn. I strongly suggest finding a good therapist and coming to vent whenever you feel like you need to. It's what we're here for!

 

Hugs!

Yeah, I was put in a mental hospital before but I don't take my meds anymore since they cost a lot and my parents don't like the idea of me taking drugs. I find venting here helps I'll probably come here when I feel like this. Thanks for your advice. 👍🏻

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Taylor_The_Human
19 hours ago, Mary Jane said:

Yep I've felt this even now, I don't know how I keep going or why but there's things that just won't let me give up not till I really 100% mean it and you aren't being selfish everyone's problem can't be measured and compared by the problem they can only be measured and compared by how the person feels 

 

And remember that other post you did searching for friends? You don't need to worry about me leaving you because I give multiple chances, in fact I'm practically friends with someone that used to bully me thanks to it. There's better people to be friends with than me but I'm always an option at least

 

And sorry that I can't say more

I'm sorry you also feel like this cuz it's such a horrible feeling.. 😞 and thank you for making me feel less selfish of doing this. I do remember that post and it's great to know you're someone who gives chances because I do too! 👍🏻 It's great to know you made your bully your friend too and I do acknowledge and appreciate your friendship it helps to speak to someone! 

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PixieOfTheHills

Taylor, I can so relate to what you’re experiencing. I go through this - a lot - and I bet you’ve got ‘evidence’ to support your belief that you’re as bad as you say. 
 

Well, here’s a heads up for you.....

 

You’re not actually all those bad things you think!!! Your mind has told you that you are, but I promise you..... you ARE NOT!! 😊


It’s a really complicated process by which you arrive at this set of beliefs and takes a professional to deal with it all. 
 

On 5/11/2021 at 4:47 PM, Taylor_The_Human said:

I'm not sure why and I'm not sure how to explain it... The best I could try to would be like a deep hate like how you'd feel

Here’s an example ^^^^^^ of you running yourself down when you actually did a fine job of describing how you feel. You assumed that you were going to make a complete mess of it..... but you didn’t!!

 

 There’s some proof that you’re not that bad person you think you are. 
 

Next time you hear one of these negative assumptions, perhaps ask yourself what evidence you have to support that negative belief, and then - this is important - what evidence do you have that shows the opposite? Keep going. You will find that evidence to undo the bad stuff. 
 

The more you do this, the less you will have negative thoughts and - then - There’s space available for positive thoughts. 
 

Have a go!! 😊

💚🖤💜

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Taylor_The_Human
2 hours ago, PixieOfTheHills said:

Taylor, I can so relate to what you’re experiencing. I go through this - a lot - and I bet you’ve got ‘evidence’ to support your belief that you’re as bad as you say. 
 

Well, here’s a heads up for you.....

 

You’re not actually all those bad things you think!!! Your mind has told you that you are, but I promise you..... you ARE NOT!! 😊


It’s a really complicated process by which you arrive at this set of beliefs and takes a professional to deal with it all. 
 

Here’s an example ^^^^^^ of you running yourself down when you actually did a fine job of describing how you feel. You assumed that you were going to make a complete mess of it..... but you didn’t!!

 

 There’s some proof that you’re not that bad person you think you are. 
 

Next time you hear one of these negative assumptions, perhaps ask yourself what evidence you have to support that negative belief, and then - this is important - what evidence do you have that shows the opposite? Keep going. You will find that evidence to undo the bad stuff. 
 

The more you do this, the less you will have negative thoughts and - then - There’s space available for positive thoughts. 
 

Have a go!! 😊

💚🖤💜

Thanks I'll try that! And it's good to know I'm not alone. 🙂

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