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Mary Jane

No one needs to help I really just need to get this out, sorry if this is in the wrong forum thing

 

Why keep living? I’m different, who would even want to be friends with me?, I know I can be a bother and why keep trying?

 

why keep living? I guess because of good experiences the many I’ve had, trips to the arcade I like, watching movies I love, playing games that has made life great (well while the games are good for me)

 

but I’m different 😔 and yet why care right? As more and more people get more competitive I can enjoy games more than others as in just enjoy it not enjoy the competition, I’m kind and this world needs more kind people, I even try to help even if I’m pretty bad at it or I’m down too, and I haven’t done it since start of last school year but I can make myself not feel sad anymore it’s mostly because I mostly look for any positives which now I’m trying to do again

 

Yet who wants to be friends with me? I i know I’m mostly boring plus can be a bother... but it can also be worth it to get to know me 

 

why keep trying? That I don’t really know, things try to mentally kill me yet things try to keep making me keep going all the good like video games, movies, cartoons, everything else that’s good keeps trying to keep me going. I’m mainly trying for me but I’m happy there’s one more reason: for my best friend

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Carolyn Marie

Thank you for expressing your thoughts so very well, Mary Jane.  Like you, I have had times in my life when I raised the same question; why keep living.  About 20 years ago I suffered a defeat and humiliation at work, and I thought about that question.  I gave life another shot, and a wonderful colleague may have saved my life by offering me a job and a chance to redeem myself.  If I had succumbed to the desire to end it all, I would have never known about that chance.  No matter how bad things seem, something almost always comes along to give us reasons to keep living.  I hope you always find those reasons, hon.  I hope that anyone who asks themselves that question finds the reasons to keep living.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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Charlize

Mary Jane like both you and Carolyn Marie I've gone through several periods when i wondered itv life was worth living.  When our 13 year old son died in an accident years ago our lives seemed to stop. In time relearned to live with a pain that will always be with us.  Yesterday as our grandchild laid on the couch playing a video game life showed its beauty.  I can even see the beauty of spring.  Life seems to have it's moments of difficulty as well as moments of joy.  I feel blessed to have learned that sharing with others as we do here makes this life brighter both for me and , hopefully, for others.

 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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Mary Jane

@Carolyn Marie thank you and so far the reasons haven’t really stopped, things are getting harder but I can still be positive

 

@Charlize 🙂

 

Ever since being more open and the negative rushing, overwhelming me It’s hard for me to think positive again but I’m going to start thinking positive again today

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Charlize

Two tricks i learned in recovery to raise my mood were to make a gratitude list and to look in the mirror and smile at myself.  I did the first and it was pretty helpful right away.  i still think of what i have to be grateful for quite often.  The second was harder.  i just didn't think i was worth smiling at.  i kept trying and oddly after a good bit of time it is natural now and i actually feel pretty good about myself.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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@Charlize excellent wisdom - wil try to add to my list of positive things.

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Mary Jane

ill try and for the gratitude list thing i think i dont really need to make one every time since im somehow better at it when im just thinking

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