Coping before you came out?

[LusciousTheLock]

I used to really struggle to cope before I came out as trans. That time period between accepting who I was and going public to the world. Especially at work, where some people knew but generally the workplace didn't know until last Christmas, just 5-6months ago. I felt like I was wearing a mask and peering through two tiny eye holes and it was getting me down. I never intended to transition in my current workplace, but intended to find another career in another industry. I supose covid helped me here by stopping me running away.

 

Anway, my counsellor suggested I help myself a little, by wearing feminine underwear and jewellery under my work clothes to ground my emotions whilst being stuck in man-mode in the workplace until I came out fully. After a few Gin's one night, and nursing some depression, I took out a needle and some tattoo ink and created... The lady finger. I tattoo'd stitches on my little finger and painted the nail of my pinky in the girliest colours I could find I also then discovered the Alchemy symbol for transition, so added that too. Next day, feeling much more sober, I wondered what the F*@k I had done!

 

Anyone else do anything else weird to cope? 

[Heather Shay]

That is interesting. I agree with your consellor in that any means of reducing your dysphoria helps and that reminding yourself that you know WHO you are and it will be the world's fortune to learn about the real you when the time is right.

[Astrid]

7 hours ago, LusciousTheLock said:

I used to really struggle to cope before I came out as trans  ...  Anyone else do anything else weird to cope? 

 

Thanks for asking this question, because it helps me realize that, in the (long) time before I had really no choice but to come out to my spouse and start therapy, I was increasingly unable to cope.  And, although I judged myself to be weird, and because I didn't know of others I could connect with, I was pretty much like a of other folks here:  that is, a person who was getting increasingly angry and dysphoric because my gender identity doesn't conform with the cis world.  Fast forward three years now (my three-year coming out anniversary is in four days) and I realize how much a better person I am now, and I also know a not insignificant portion of society (from young to old) is not cis.   

 

Thanks to all the folks here who help keep me grounded.

 

Astrid

[Maddee]

I sang a lot to cope.

 

Avoided manu passages of man life.  Didn't want to walk through them I guess.   Not surrendering to being entirely "normal" (as I percieved it) helped me. 

 

My life matrix aided and abetted my escapade.  Especially prior to coming to terms and committing to transitioning.

 

That last part may sound strange, but Im not sure how else to express it..

[Maddee]

Like the alchemy btw

[LusciousTheLock]

Just wish I could re-grow my nails now. They were quite good at one point, but chew them off after another bout of dysphoria. Oh, well. Treat myself to acrylic at some point soon

[Beatriz]

On 5/14/2021 at 7:29 PM, Maddee said:

Avoided manu passages of man life.

This did strike a chord with me.

PS: I like the Alchemy symbol as well

[Ivy]

Really I don't think I coped very well.  I just ran like hell from even facing this part of me.