Jump to content
🏳️‍🌈 June is Pride Month ×
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Sound Barrier soooo hard to break! I'm not even trying for supersonic!

Recommended Posts





New here everyone! 🙏


This is a MASSIVE preoccupation of mine currently...


I just can't seem to cross the psychological threshold.


I'm not on hormones although I'm fairly slight for 5'9 and can pass when out and about in relatively feminine clothing (leggings). I get 'Miss' and' Mam' mostly, that is ... until I open my mouth.

I wrote in my Intro yesterday that its the 'Barry White' but I wish! Its not quite that deep and sexy folks but its not high and feminine either! Urgh.


Mostly the problem comes at check out at the supermarket. Since these are complete strangers, I'd resolve myself to speak feminine inching forward but invariably when show time, end up breaking back into male voice...😖


So the clerks than go into fire fighting mode either apologise to me or more frequently pretend nothing has happened and double down on the Sirs thereafter. Luckily I live in LA and most people seem cool with whatever I am/tolerate it or I pass enough for them to think 'work in progress" maybe...


I don't feel a need to correct them personally bc I am not too bothered by misgendering but I feel SOOOOO awkward for them. Of course it would be nice to hear female pronoun...


I was seeing a Therapist for 4 to 6 months just before the Pandemic outbreak and she gently encouraged me to use my female voice on her.


I had told her I was watching a number of those super helpful youtube channels on the subject and was secretly practising it at night before bed time when my kids were (hopefully) asleep and out of ear shot.


Upon advise, I downloaded an APP called VoiceTools (free, I'm cheap) as well to help in the process... I felt I made progress and achieved a reasonably convincing pitch.


BUT each time I visited her (The Therapist), I'd squeak a couple of words (which she encouragingly said sounded good) then I'd revert quickly back to original voice.


I simply could not do it....even with someone receptive and forgiving.


I don't know if it is bc :


1) I feel the voice is 'fake' not me




2) the old voice is a defensive mechanism?


But I HATE my old voice.


Yet I somehow can't seem to  bring myself to use my highly practised female voice even at the Supermarket with (these days) anonymity behind a couple of face masks (I am a habitual Hypochondriac so even with shots, am still happily behind double protection)


Its a complete mental block for sure! Sooooo frustrating!🙄😤


I'm sure others have had this problem and wonder how you went about surmounting this?



Link to post
  • Admin

Instead of trying to speak, try to sing.  My voice is a low tenor singing voice which I am getting ready to use in a bit singing with the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles getting ready for Pride month.  The techniques for singing and finding your voice range carry over to speaking.  You probably revert to chest voice which is baritone to bass in most cases.  The other thing to the singing is that women do have a more musical inflection in their wording which makes a big difference.  Singing in the shower, or singing to a song on your computer and hearing your words as you do it helps you match pitch naturally and its a lot of fun.

Link to post

Hi Vicky great advise...🙏


I am a closet amateur shower singer (not out yet)🛀


And I've noticed with the voice exercises, it has actually improved my (nominally limited range) singing. I'm able to hit some decently high notes now.


The singing thing was a major bug bear for many decades bc I use to have a voice (in choir junior school) until (of course) the puberty hit. Hide. I refrained from singing thereafter except when forced.


Its weird bc when I speak (original voice) I always feel I sound higher but when its played back to me...cringe.😱


My problem is social interaction time, just don't seem to have the nerve...😳



Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.

Yeah, what @VickySGV said. I find that my feminine voice is mostly just my singing voice (I ALWAYS went high when I'm singing). It'll also help you with your speaking range (women hit a wider range of notes than men do when speaking).


There are a lot of moving parts to a good feminine voice though. The trick is to practice, practice, practice and know how to recover when you make a mis-step.



Link to post

Thanks Jackie. Singing is a great pursuit I am going to ramp up (Hopefully it won't garner too much complains...my daughter is super critical...but lucky she's away in college)😬


I wonder how it was when you first used your feminine voice in public, did you have someone along for encouragement, did you try it out on someone close before hand?


I thought using it (these days with a mask on) at the supermarket in short anonymous interactions would do the trick particularly since they consistently Mam or Miss me first but I'm just tongue tied when that happens and revert immediately back to 'male' voice even after I practised (for ten minutes) before hand sitting in the parked car before entering the market.


Often to get to tone, I speak in a 'mock Thai'...don't ask me why I don't speak Thai but it somehow gets me to the right tone.


Then all for nought when moment of truth.


Its a complete mental block.🙄



Link to post
  • Admin

I should have said this before, but another thing to do, is get on a site where other Trans folks are talking and even on Zoom can join in.  Part of the problem is NERVES and that problem shows up in your voice as well. In other words talk to people with whom you are safe and you can kick back and not worry.  You say you live in the Los Angeles area and there are a bunch of LGBTQ community centers whose Trans support groups are doing Zoom or other online.  The Los Angeles LGBTQ Center has Trans groups regularly, and so do San Gabriel Valley, Long Beach, South Bay and Orange County Centers.  Once you get over the fear of "losing your voice" it will actually become more feminine.  As I said above my voice is just above middle C (actually C#) and I do not get "read" on my voice except in certain areas where actually they automatically say male pronouns.  My only continuing issue is on the phone, and since it is all sales schemes for the most part, who cares.   Get out with folks you can trust and just talk.

Link to post

Thanks Vickie.


I'm thinking I need to find someone I can trust to practise with before I go into a larger group but yeah I guess the LGBTQ Trans group may be a good way since peeps there will be more forgiving and honest feedback. Sometimes you worry people just trying to be kind and telling you what you wanna hear otherwise.


I suppose as it is opening up more now, I'd be able to try one of these meetings out.


On that note (no pun), I've been taking advise and belting out some carpenter songs in the shower. "Yesterday Once More" has a good and challenging range!😄 Good exercise!

Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.
14 hours ago, swallow said:

I wonder how it was when you first used your feminine voice in public, did you have someone along for encouragement, did you try it out on someone close before hand?


Nope. I went to the supermarket by myself and I completely blew it. Clocked as soon as I opened my mouth. I just went back and practiced some more until I got it right.



Link to post

I think they are on to me at one of the supermarkets now...they simply avoid ALL pronouns besides addressing me directly as 'you' bless them.😄 (This one being a Japanese market, very polite people)


Part of me is afraid I guess that if I use a female voice and still get clocked its probably something-else visually I'm not doing quite right. Like last time I came out of the mall and a man sniggered at me and I thought at first it was my double masking but turn out my strapless AA bra was lobsided, one 'breast' was slipping.... I was carrying too much stuff to notice.😬😳


I had resolved earlier that I should slowly graduate my voice upwards but the problem is if I go a little higher up incrementally, I run the risk of immediately falling back to  low mode...going much higher seems to be do away with 'laziness' but much harder to sustain.


I think I've found the comfort zone now. I just have to find courage to keep falling, like riding a bike I suppose.


I think I'll try speaking/engaging with very few words first (which is of course opposite of me).:refuse:


Went to a market once in an exotic foreign faraway land and was specifically instructed with the girls I was with not to say anything but give coded nods so they could haggle on my behalf and get the best price. They're conspired cover story for me  was that I was a mute which garnered sympathy from plenty of the market stall holders who took pity on me being so young  and 'handsome' (many decades back of course) but without tongue... I was talk of the market...of course not long after I could not resist with the haggling and opened my big mouth (forgot the plan entirely)...chased out of the market.:lol:






Link to post
  • Forum Moderator
Jackie C.
11 hours ago, swallow said:

had resolved earlier that I should slowly graduate my voice upwards but the problem is if I go a little higher up incrementally, I run the risk of immediately falling back to  low mode...going much higher seems to be do away with 'laziness' but much harder to sustain.


It's like any other muscle, you've got to strengthen it. A good exercise is the half-swallow. Take a small sip of something and swallow. Feel how your voice box comes up and down? Fantastic. Now swallow, but hold your voce box up for as long as you can. You CAN breathe while you're doing this, but it takes some practice to hold your throat where you want it and breathe at the same time. For now, just do it as long as you can and work out the breathing part later.

The beauty of this exercise is that you can do it anywhere and it builds endurance for your female voice.



Link to post

Swallow...you know I can do that!😄


Thanks for the advise. Probably some benefits for that jawline as well.


Hugs back at ya!



Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 46 Guests (See full list)

    • PheonyxJayde
    • Nat83
    • Jackie C.
    • Samantha2020
    • Amberlynn
    • Elizabeth Star
    • Willow
    • Melissa Mazurek
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Torrence Kieran
    Newest Member
    Torrence Kieran
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good Sunday morning y’all    @KymmieL I had a Ranger in the nineties 2x4 long bed stick.  I enjoyed driving that.  But I lived where traffic jams were commonplace.  I also had a bad left knee.  My doc said no more clutch.  It was replaced by a Ford E150 conversion van.  Like driving your living room down the highway. Came in great for going to Florida to get our son in college.  Then came my first Jeep.  It was a Liberty.    we lived on a steep hill at the time.  One winter we had a pretty bad snow.  Now most of my neighbors had a 4x4 something Broncos, Toyota’s didn’t matter everyone  knew if you wanted to get up the hill in the snow you had to have one.  My son called me, he was stuck on the main road and the snow plow was coming. Could I try to pull him out.  I got in my Jeep,backed out on the hill and drove off.  Everyone of my neighbors just stared.  I got to him hooked up and started pulling. After we got home he tells me he forgot to take off his parking brake.  So nothing stopped that Jeep. And this one has the same transfer case and even better anti spin differentials. Not the Dodge setup they use in all the other Jeep badged Rams.  So while I like Fords, (my beater is an Explorer Eddie Bauer)! Nothing beats a Jeep unless it’s highly modified.   This one is named Tweetie.  I’m guessing that’s strike three, eh girlfriend? 🥰   hugs   Willow
    • Petra Jane
      Unfortunately, I am now unable to remember very clearly those famous people I have met, I know I met some of the Grumblweeds (a UK band in the 80’s), local personalities but the person who made the most lasting impression on me was the team leader of the Stoke team when I was hospitalised following a couple of strokes. she helped me come to terms with the way my life changed, having survived two strokes, her words, survived the weekend when the nurses didn’t think I was going to make it, and giving me the support I needed to not just survive but improve my life and my health afterwards. It was a delight to be able to return a few years later, meet her, and thank her for her support, and to be honest, show how much improved I was from the day I was discharged.
    • Teri Anne
      Love thrift stores and you never know what you will find. I collect military jackets and BDUs and I found a slant pocket insect repellent combat shirt. The pattern is more a woodland camo style. Need to do a bit of research into what branch wore the style of shirt.
    • Red_Lauren.
      Not really famous, but locally famous. I know a few local djs at a some what personal level. From when I worked in radio.    I also got to meet one of our local news anchors when I was a bouncer, and it didn't click who she was till I asked for a id. She was super nice, and we chatted for a few minutes. As I was getting her a voucher for a free ride home. A few days later. I was walking in to the gym as she was leaving, and she looked at me like she has seen me before. 
    • KymmieL
      WLLZ was 98.7 last I heard it was jazz in the early 90s. RIF has gone modern junk. I didn't know WNIC was still around. When I was feeling mellow, I would turn on pillow talk. for the slow romantic songs that I never got to dance to. I have WCSX bookmarked to listen to sometimes. They are a lot better than the canned crap we have here.  Then again that is why I have satellite radio in my Ranger and my wagon.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      Willow, I have a few friends with heeps so it is all good. I am just mostly a Ford girl. Well Ford and Buick girl. We have a 2020 Ford Ranger Lariat FX4. We got it simply because it has all the goodies that I wanted to put on our 2000 explorer Limited. Rear locker, trail control,270hp 290tq turbo 2.3l. plus it was new and reliable.  I had a decal on the window of our first Explorer trail truck, "screw your jeep thing." My friends with Jeeps thought it was great.   OK, You get over to Laramie and I'll buy the coffee.   Kymmie
    • MetaLicious
      For me, it was a dream.  A dream where I had a woman's face, but when I checked down south, I still had male parts.  In the dream, I shrugged it off as no bg deal, and went out to show the world m new face.  The dream sparked an internal revolution, where I realized I had spend two-thirds of my life expectancy playing at being male (even while vocally protesting that I just didn't get it!).  I knew I would live the rest of m life in regret if I didn't make an effort to be the woman in y dreams, who went out proud into the world despite not being completely female.   It has made all the difference.  I spent some time rejecting my masculinity wholesale, until I decided I was non-binary.  A strong feminine leaning, to be sure, but I am not wholly male or female.  If I could wave a magic wand, I would love to be a cis-girl, but there is no magic wand, and that dream made me feel like it would work for me to straddle  both worlds.  So far, it has.
    • DonkeySocks
      If you want to go to church, go. If it makes you feel at home, if it makes you feel socially healthy, or in touch with spirituality, go. You can work on untangling from whatever toxic parts of it are affecting you. You might never agree with everyone in the "club" of a given religion, or with the overall teachings, even. If you feel the religion you grew up in is harming you, search for lgbt friendly worship services in your area.   All I know about LDS I know from a friend who converted to it, and reading about it online.   I can only speak to my experience of the Catholic church, which is this: canon from Rome is way different from Midwestern home congregations' practices. You'll find a lot of nasty, snide iterations of canon/dogma online. It's easy to find people not just repeating the rules, but writing them in a condescending way. But it baffles me to see that, because where I grew up going to church, in a suburb of a large Midwestern city, we had an openly gay couple as music directors. If an apparently trans person went to that church, nobody would have said anything--except that my mother would have criticized their clothing, because she criticizes people a lot, for everything. I don't go on this ramble to say you should go to a Catholic church. I only mean you might find friends in any denomination.
    • Elizabeth Star
      That sounds so nice, wish we would do that.
    • DonkeySocks
      You might get closer to understanding that if you study the history of Christianity, an overview, not just of one religion. You can take a course or make your own study through books and websites. It can be really fascinating to see the cultural interweavings with religious traditions. If you enjoy general history you could really have a good time and start to get a larger perspective on how you approach religion.
    • Torrence Kieran
      @KathyLauren That's a good point. I guess I'm just really scared of change and not really sure even how I'd go about it. But I don't really want to have that full repercussion of the whole church as you pointed out. I'm just an obsessive overthinker and terrified of that change. 
    • Elizabeth Star
      I was sent out on yet a 3rd run to get stuff. Part of my mission was to stop at a thrift store to look for a chair for our makeup table. Instead I found this gorgeous little dress. I really shouldn't be allowed in stores unattended. I almost passed on it until I convinced myself to try it on. It's like it was made for me. I'll take another picture when I can get all done-up to wear it. Not sure what occasion it's for but at $6 I'll make up one. Maybe work on Monday.  
    • MetaLicious
      Well, since you've already started HRT, eventually she's going to know something's... different.  I would try and find a quiet time when there weren't likely to be interruptions, then just drop the news.  It's not something you can dance around forever, and it's knd of too late to beat around the bush in an effort to get a feel for how she'll react.   One piece of advice - tell her that you KNOW you shuld have broght this up sooner.  She'll probably be thinking that anyway, but it can't hurt to say it out loud.   I wish you the best of luck.
    • DonkeySocks
      I agree with @Torrence Kieran Also, I quoted this section of your original post because this is a lot of what your wife needs to know, right here. You can tell her these things. Lead with reassurance--that you treasure your relationship and have no intention of changing your devotion to her and you want your connection to be as close and deep as it can--or whatever words suit your style. Use a prewritten card to express the sentiments if necessary. Start with reassurance, and tell her the exact truth. Emphasize the reason for the delay and that sharing with her means so much to you.
    • Torrence Kieran
      I've always had a hard time with talking about the fact that I self-harm since I've never cut. I've had a relatively huge fear of knives my whole life so instead I started bruising. I don't do it very frequently, but the fact that I've done it all always causes me distress... and I think about doing it a lot more than I actually do it... I just always feel like I can't talk about it because it's not how most people do it and it's not really ever talked about. It's just that sometimes my emotions get too big and I don't know what to do with them and then I just... y'know... and I just never really feel like it'll be taken as valid or really if I even consider it valid. Does anyone have any advice on how to help stop and cope with the emotions better?

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...