Son, brother, husband, Dad, Uncle

[MirandaB]

Having been all those things for all my life, or decades at least, wondering when and if it'll ever bother me to continue to be pegged in these categories. I feel like most of the time 'son' and 'brother' are identities that are mostly in the past, still qualify as each but not interacting with parent or siblings all the time like you are growing up. The other three are more applicable these days. 

 

Still not out to the general public so right now the gendering that happens doesn't really bother me yet, but wondering how people feel about keeping or changing these identifications.  

[KathyLauren]

I am still "Dad" to our dog and cats.  My parents are no longer in this world, but my brothers refer to me as their sister.  And it gives me goosebumps when I hear that.

[Kathy2020]

@RhondaS I had the same thoughts for a while about my own identities with immediate family and very close friends, and I came to the conclusion that in some cases its perfectly fine to still accept them. I think this is more true for those of us transitioning when we are older, in cases where we have already 'transitioned' out of those identities for other reasons, or when we don't want to change the roll ourselves, but there can be a number of other factors. In my mind, these types of gender byes are rare but necessary because they acknowledge something in my past that is still very important to me. Of course that leads to the conundrum of your question too, and is inherently limited to those of us who are blessed with the gift of explaining why we are not the gender we were assigned at birth. For example, I think its very common for mtf women to still accept - and enjoy - the roll of dad in relation to their children, especially if they didn't transition during their kid's youth. Taking it one step further though, who says identity titles have to be masculine or feminine at all? If a child can have two moms, why can't they have a dad who is female, right? That being the case, it comes down to your personal preferences and comfort level, and that is all that matters anyway. If you are comfortable still being thought of as father, son, brother, etc. while being your true feminine self, then go for it! Most likely the few people you have those relationships with will follow your lead and be fine with it.

[Kasumi63]

Interesting topic. I think it depends on the person who sees us in these roles. My mother was pretty accepting about using my new female name, partly, I think, because  Americans aren’t used to Japanese names and can’t notice the gender, but she and my younger sister have said they can’t (actually, just won’t) refer to me as daughter or sister. My other sister was quick about calling me “sister.” My two brothers won’t talk to me at all, so it’s a moot point, but I assume they won’t recognize my new identity. My father passed away, but I feel pretty certain that he would have been rather negative. My two adult kids, on the other hand, have both been great. They call me dad, but also use my new name and pronouns. So it really depends on the other person. I’m enjoying reading how it goes for others.