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are things even really worth it?


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Mary Jane

i havent gone through much life has just been pretty normal i even bet people would want my life as theirs yet huges amounts of emotional pain keeps coming "im invisible" "no one cares" "no one likes me" things seem to always say these and more 

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Mary Jane

no one needs to say anything i can usually adapt or get my thoughts away from negative ones

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  • 2 weeks later...
Mary Jane

I guess if it’s worth it to keep going even if I have no one

 

most of my life I’ve had to emotionally take care of my self and if I didn’t have things I could focus on I don’t know how long I would have survived. I still need to take care of my self without emotional help

 

And to make things worse I have no idea where my life is going but with my luck things are never going to improve maybe stay pretty much in balance between good and bad in a way except so far they’ve only been pretty balanced because I’m focused enough on something to not be sad

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Mary Jane

already trying to put myself out there and its not working but in a why life both wants me dead and wants me alive, i mean this school year i got a friendship that might last forever! (and its kind of sad but thats the main reason i can keep going, all others are smaller than it)

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  • Forum Moderator

Give yourself a hug - you are worth it - and you have a lot to have to deal with and that's hard to do. You have so many true friends here and you always have us - believe it or not - close friends who will mean a lot to you close by WILL COME and you will be fine. You are much stronger than you know.

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rainflower

You're not invisible, we see you. I have led a similar life, spend a lot of my time alone, with mostly online interactions. Every now and then I'll get in a group or club where we have weekly meetings, but aside from group things, I rarely if ever have someone reach out to me and actually want to do something with me one on one.

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Mary Jane

i know im not invisible here, and online i feel less invisible but real life im just going to be like that person thats trying to just survive one more day, if im at a party (which have been mostly only school party things) im going to be at the side or something. even when i get friends online or real life even just parents, brother or cousins they barely feel like a friend 

 

except for one and I don't know why but once we talked I kept wanting to talk to her eventually me feeling like shes a best friend then shes family

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rainflower
9 hours ago, Mary Jane said:

i know im not invisible here, and online i feel less invisible but real life im just going to be like that person thats trying to just survive one more day, if im at a party (which have been mostly only school party things) im going to be at the side or something. even when i get friends online or real life even just parents, brother or cousins they barely feel like a friend 

 

except for one and I don't know why but once we talked I kept wanting to talk to her eventually me feeling like shes a best friend then shes family

You remind me so much of myself. Just hang in there ok? It can and will get better, these things just take time.

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Mary Jane

trying to because if getting that friend proves something it proves life can be unpredictable in good ways too

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