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Praying God will change me


SheenaT

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Went to sleep again paying to God to just let me wake up physically female and just let me be happy

😥😥😥😥

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So many of us have had that wish, @SheenaT.  When it seems there's no way forward, it can be hard to know what, if anything, can be done to help alleviate the stress/dysphoria.  One thing suggested here at TransPulse for me several years ago that helped was to wear clothing or accessories that are not visible -- such as an anklet under a sock, or a cami or  necklace under your shirt.  I still wear my butterfly necklace almost every day, years after I came out to my spouse 🙂

 

Reading the stories of others who've found ways to progress (and learning about how obstacles were overcome) has always been helpful for me, as well.  There's a lot of content available via the Web.

 

Hugs and best wishes,

 

Astrid

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I know the feeling, but the answers to the prayers I made along those lines, were in direction to resources to have it done humanly, and in assurance that I had no reason for shame about who I was and what I needed to do.  The sources and resources were made known and my acceptance that it was right and joyful to use them started coming.  An overnight miracle of physical change just is not going to happen, but the mental and emotional changes that come from from submission to the special purposes of our lives does indeed come as a gift, and that in itself is a miracle. 

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1 hour ago, Astrid said:

So many of us have had that wish, @SheenaT.  When it seems there's no way forward, it can be hard to know what, if anything, can be done to help alleviate the stress/dysphoria.  One thing suggested here at TransPulse for me several years ago that helped was to wear clothing or accessories that are not visible -- such as an anklet under a sock, or a cami or  necklace under your shirt.  I still wear my butterfly necklace almost every day, years after I came out to my spouse 🙂

 

Reading the stories of others who've found ways to progress (and learning about how obstacles were overcome) has always been helpful for me, as well.  There's a lot of content available via the Web.

 

Hugs and best wishes,

 

Astrid

🤗 thank you. I have purged all male undergarments and pierced my ears. Growing my hair out too.

20210308_170033.jpg

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1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

I know the feeling, but the answers to the prayers I made along those lines, were in direction to resources to have it done humanly, in assurance that I had no reason for shame about who I was and what I needed to do.  The sources and resources were made known and my acceptance that it was right and joyful to use them started coming.  An overnight miracle of physical change just is not going to happen, but the mental and emotional changes that come from from submission to the special purposes of our lives does indeed come as a gift, and that in itself is a miracle. 

🤗

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1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

🤗

Knowing no physical changes will come is the sad reality. Trying to love and accept my true self and not feel that God hates me is my daily challenge. 

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1 hour ago, Astrid said:

So many of us have had that wish, @SheenaT.  When it seems there's no way forward, it can be hard to know what, if anything, can be done to help alleviate the stress/dysphoria.  One thing suggested here at TransPulse for me several years ago that helped was to wear clothing or accessories that are not visible -- such as an anklet under a sock, or a cami or  necklace under your shirt.  I still wear my butterfly necklace almost every day, years after I came out to my spouse 🙂

 

Reading the stories of others who've found ways to progress (and learning about how obstacles were overcome) has always been helpful for me, as well.  There's a lot of content available via the Web.

 

Hugs and best wishes,

 

Astrid

I paint my toenails, wear earrings, growing my hair out and my undergarments are all panties now. Little things help a little.

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1 hour ago, Astrid said:

So many of us have had that wish, @SheenaT.  When it seems there's no way forward, it can be hard to know what, if anything, can be done to help alleviate the stress/dysphoria.  One thing suggested here at TransPulse for me several years ago that helped was to wear clothing or accessories that are not visible -- such as an anklet under a sock, or a cami or  necklace under your shirt.  I still wear my butterfly necklace almost every day, years after I came out to my spouse 🙂

 

Reading the stories of others who've found ways to progress (and learning about how obstacles were overcome) has always been helpful for me, as well.  There's a lot of content available via the Web.

 

Hugs and best wishes,

 

Astrid

My wife knows and has accepted these things as part of who I am.

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10 hours ago, SheenaT said:

Knowing no physical changes will come is the sad reality. Trying to love and accept my true self and not feel that God hates me is my daily challenge. 

 

Thanks for sharing more about where you currently are with your appearance.  Many of us on our gender journeys face the hard questions around physical changes.  Can we, and if not, why? Should we, and if not, why?  Each of us mull over such questions many times. The reaction and acceptance/non-acceptance of spouses is often a factor.  I can say that for me, and many others who've commented here, spousal acceptance can change over time, but it's hard work.  But it also provides hope and positive direction.  

 

For me, I reached a point where, although I consider myself to be non-binary, the need for estrogen was clear, as the alternative was leading to a far worse outcome. After 18 months of estrogen and the physical changes it has brought to my body, I can say that my spouse has proceeded from real apprehension to a calm acceptance.  Like so many other milestones on my gender journey, the fear that preceded each milestone soon evaporated.  HRT has turned out to be a blessing for me, and I am thankful that I took that chance, and that my spouse continues to accept me.

 

Religion is not a small factor in my own family, as my spouse is a pastor.  But there is mental room to accept a wide variety of human images for God -- including (for me) a sense that God can be non-binary.  That in itself helps support me and lessen the grip that negative thoughts have on me.  I find it similar to the positive message of Romans 8 -- if God is for me, who can be against me?

 

Astrid

 

 

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On 5/28/2021 at 4:45 PM, Astrid said:

 

Thanks for sharing more about where you currently are with your appearance.  Many of us on our gender journeys face the hard questions around physical changes.  Can we, and if not, why? Should we, and if not, why?  Each of us mull over such questions many times. The reaction and acceptance/non-acceptance of spouses is often a factor.  I can say that for me, and many others who've commented here, spousal acceptance can change over time, but it's hard work.  But it also provides hope and positive direction.  

 

For me, I reached a point where, although I consider myself to be non-binary, the need for estrogen was clear, as the alternative was leading to a far worse outcome. After 18 months of estrogen and the physical changes it has brought to my body, I can say that my spouse has proceeded from real apprehension to a calm acceptance.  Like so many other milestones on my gender journey, the fear that preceded each milestone soon evaporated.  HRT has turned out to be a blessing for me, and I am thankful that I took that chance, and that my spouse continues to accept me.

 

Religion is not a small factor in my own family, as my spouse is a pastor.  But there is mental room to accept a wide variety of human images for God -- including (for me) a sense that God can be non-binary.  That in itself helps support me and lessen the grip that negative thoughts have on me.  I find it similar to the positive message of Romans 8 -- if God is for me, who can be against me?

 

Astrid

 

 

Amen

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I find it similar to the positive message of Romans 8 -- if God is for me, who can be against me?

 

Astrid

Astrid, AMEN

 

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This is so great! I struggle with this still. Ive been working towards finding clothes that make me feel cuter. Its hard for me to worship and dance like the girl Jesus made me to be, when Im still wearing the same clothes ive always worn. At first i thought "panties and sport bra" would be enough, because i already wore tight jeans. Most recently bought jeans from the women's section! Makes SUCH a big difference now! People used to say stuff to me like, "It doesnt matter what clothing section, just wear what's comfortable, all jeans are the same anyways..." Nah! Nope! "Girl jeans" feel way different! (In a good way.) Its like boy clothes are designed so your "maleness" is shoved forward no matter what... Makes me cringe. Also super tired of shaving (face) every day. ugh. If anyone has tips for how to leave the house if i havent shaved and not feel like "everyone knows", id love to hear them?

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Tera Ledo as i read your post i had to think about how i hadn't applied lipstick much for over a year.  Wearing a mask hide so many things and i'd guess that includes a days worth of beard growth😄

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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