Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Think might need help


Natalie71645

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

 

Im five and a half months into HRT.  I don't drink every day, but I almost feel like I have a compulsion to every day off from work.  On top of that I do, and think things I would never think sober.  I think of self harming, which is something I had a problem with in the past, but not in years.  Also this past time I smoked which is something else I haven't done in years.  I talk to people online I would never talk to sober.  I even sent a topless picture to someone I didn't know one of these times.  I've had problems with alcohol in the past, like pretty bad.  Some drugs too but mainly alcohol.  I could go into specifics but the point is that between dysphoria, work, kids, and a divorce, life is stressful.  My days off don't feel like days off any more unless I have a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed.  For a couple months now I've said I'm not going to do it on my next day off, but I still do.  My x (who um still friends with) doesn't really care as long as I'm still holding down the job.  I haven't been to a meeting since before I met my x, and I'm considering starting up again.  I just want a trans friendly one.  Any way that's life right now.  I'm just lonely.

Link to comment
  • Admin

@Natalie71645 There are several of us here who know the value and Joy of Sobriety and the help it has given us in navigating the challenges of being Trans.  I have almost 13 years by now and my story is here in this forum going back to 2011 when I joined here.  Another one of our Sobriety Crowd @Charlize is deeply involved in Online AA /*A meetings for Trans people, and over on Face Book I am a moderator for a group there where more local Meetings of Trans people are posted.  Trans meetings may include several addiction types, but that is working out fine wherever I see it.  Doing this Trans stuff without the booze is much easier and more fun.  This is your third post and when you have 5 posts you can use the PM feature if you need one of us to talk to here on the Forums.  Life will be so much nicer no matter your fears not having to make love to the booze.

Link to comment

Natalie, Glad you're here! For me sobriety allowed me to honestly see & accept me for who I am, transgender. Where this journey takes me I don't yet know, but to see & live the femme in me without the fog & depression of alcohol today gives me serenity.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

   Alcohol and other substance abuse  is certainly not restricted to the straight cis world. I don't know if that was what led me down a road that left me shaking and hallucinating, needing a drink but finding it no longer helped  with the pain.

I was going to the rooms of AA and was sober for some time before i transitioned.  Today i find comfort, friendship, sobriety  and peace in any meeting i attend. 

   I found the tgaa group which meets now on Zoom 4 nights a week around 9 years ago.  Several other members of Trans Pulse also attend meetings there.  here is a link to a post here that would get you started to joining us there.  We do have a  safe group as far as online security so signing in may be slightly more difficult than some other on line sites. 

    

I just wanted the folks here who have or think they may have a drinking problem that there are at this point 4 transgendered Zoom meetings available. The times are Thursday at 9:00 eastern, Saturday at 6:00 eastern and Monday at 7:00 eastern (now Sunday at 8:00 EST as well). I have found them to be wonderful with the trans* spectrum from all around the word in real time meetings. It is also possible to not turn on a camera if one is worried about privacy.

I am not the only person from Trans Pulse who attends. If going to real life straight meeting is difficult or not, these meetings offer a great alternative. To join us please an e-mail to https://oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/tggroup_oso-aa.org . You will be sent links to join us. or PM me here at Trans Pulse and i'll help.

Hope to see you there.

Hugs,

Charlize

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you I'll take a look.  Other issue is I don't have much privacy at home, and I work 3-11 most days, but I'm sure I can make one of them work on one of my days off.  Thank you for the resources.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hi Natalie (and everyone else): I found the pandemic was becoming a drinking problem for me and through my therapist, I found Moderation Management, a website that has meetings on Zoom, there are specific meetings for all purposes. I recommend you go to the website and find one (or two) that fits your schedule. Just give it a try, maybe it can help without the narrow constraints of AA guilt. Moderation Management is just that, not the strict abstinence AA is based on. They encourage having a plan and provide ways to help you achieve your goals. It is a place to go and express yourself with out judgement. Only supportive peers and it's totally confidential.

Hugs, Wanda 

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/5/2021 at 9:58 PM, Natalie71645 said:

Hi everyone,

 

Im five and a half months into HRT.  I don't drink every day, but I almost feel like I have a compulsion to every day off from work.  On top of that I do, and think things I would never think sober.  I think of self harming, which is something I had a problem with in the past, but not in years.  Also this past time I smoked which is something else I haven't done in years.  I talk to people online I would never talk to sober.  I even sent a topless picture to someone I didn't know one of these times.  I've had problems with alcohol in the past, like pretty bad.  Some drugs too but mainly alcohol.  I could go into specifics but the point is that between dysphoria, work, kids, and a divorce, life is stressful.  My days off don't feel like days off any more unless I have a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed.  For a couple months now I've said I'm not going to do it on my next day off, but I still do.  My x (who um still friends with) doesn't really care as long as I'm still holding down the job.  I haven't been to a meeting since before I met my x, and I'm considering starting up again.  I just want a trans friendly one.  Any way that's life right now.  I'm just lonely.

Hey, I am working on this too. I had a black out last Saturday (not yesterday but week before) from bourbon. I have dangerous binge drinking episodes and do get into period of daily drinking after work. I have cravings and on stressful days just really need it. Strangely I have been thinking about picking up smoking cigarettes as well but so far have been able to stave that off. I've been having a great time with my local AA meetings. They are very accepting of me, don't care at all that I am trans and tell me to keep coming back. I have sponsor now and she said that while she doesn't understand trans issues very well, she will try. Most people including my sponsor gender me right. I live in a conservative area and I'm one of very few trans people that are out and visible at least, but as I understand it the spirit of AA is to be welcoming and accepting of all people, it is kind of set in the program to help people be more open about things.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm so glad you shared with us here Rainflower.  I can relate to that craving.  I seems miracle that over time that need has gone away.  Like you i found acceptance and support in AA.  

If you are interested please do join us at TGAA.  We meet on Zoom 4 evenings a week with other AA trans folks from all around the country and world.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
On 8/8/2021 at 1:31 PM, Charlize said:

I'm so glad you shared with us here Rainflower.  I can relate to that craving.  I seems miracle that over time that need has gone away.  Like you i found acceptance and support in AA.  

If you are interested please do join us at TGAA.  We meet on Zoom 4 evenings a week with other AA trans folks from all around the country and world.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Thanks, I might drop in some time. How do I get the zoom link?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

To join us please an e-mail to https://oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/tggroup_oso-aa.org 

We do have a bit of a sign in process so that we are safe.  Some members are long term stealth while others are exploring their gender feelings.  We all have an issue with alcohol (and substances) as well as gender issues.  TGAA gives us a safe and supportive space.

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Charlize said:

To join us please an e-mail to https://oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/tggroup_oso-aa.org 

We do have a bit of a sign in process so that we are safe.  Some members are long term stealth while others are exploring their gender feelings.  We all have an issue with alcohol (and substances) as well as gender issues.  TGAA gives us a safe and supportive space.

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Ok, I submitted the form on that page.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Great!  Hope to see you soon.

We have the list serve but ask to join the Zoom meetings and you will get set up.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 146 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...