Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Think might need help


Natalie71645

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

 

Im five and a half months into HRT.  I don't drink every day, but I almost feel like I have a compulsion to every day off from work.  On top of that I do, and think things I would never think sober.  I think of self harming, which is something I had a problem with in the past, but not in years.  Also this past time I smoked which is something else I haven't done in years.  I talk to people online I would never talk to sober.  I even sent a topless picture to someone I didn't know one of these times.  I've had problems with alcohol in the past, like pretty bad.  Some drugs too but mainly alcohol.  I could go into specifics but the point is that between dysphoria, work, kids, and a divorce, life is stressful.  My days off don't feel like days off any more unless I have a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed.  For a couple months now I've said I'm not going to do it on my next day off, but I still do.  My x (who um still friends with) doesn't really care as long as I'm still holding down the job.  I haven't been to a meeting since before I met my x, and I'm considering starting up again.  I just want a trans friendly one.  Any way that's life right now.  I'm just lonely.

Link to comment
  • Admin

@Natalie71645 There are several of us here who know the value and Joy of Sobriety and the help it has given us in navigating the challenges of being Trans.  I have almost 13 years by now and my story is here in this forum going back to 2011 when I joined here.  Another one of our Sobriety Crowd @Charlize is deeply involved in Online AA /*A meetings for Trans people, and over on Face Book I am a moderator for a group there where more local Meetings of Trans people are posted.  Trans meetings may include several addiction types, but that is working out fine wherever I see it.  Doing this Trans stuff without the booze is much easier and more fun.  This is your third post and when you have 5 posts you can use the PM feature if you need one of us to talk to here on the Forums.  Life will be so much nicer no matter your fears not having to make love to the booze.

Link to comment

Natalie, Glad you're here! For me sobriety allowed me to honestly see & accept me for who I am, transgender. Where this journey takes me I don't yet know, but to see & live the femme in me without the fog & depression of alcohol today gives me serenity.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

   Alcohol and other substance abuse  is certainly not restricted to the straight cis world. I don't know if that was what led me down a road that left me shaking and hallucinating, needing a drink but finding it no longer helped  with the pain.

I was going to the rooms of AA and was sober for some time before i transitioned.  Today i find comfort, friendship, sobriety  and peace in any meeting i attend. 

   I found the tgaa group which meets now on Zoom 4 nights a week around 9 years ago.  Several other members of Trans Pulse also attend meetings there.  here is a link to a post here that would get you started to joining us there.  We do have a  safe group as far as online security so signing in may be slightly more difficult than some other on line sites. 

    

I just wanted the folks here who have or think they may have a drinking problem that there are at this point 4 transgendered Zoom meetings available. The times are Thursday at 9:00 eastern, Saturday at 6:00 eastern and Monday at 7:00 eastern (now Sunday at 8:00 EST as well). I have found them to be wonderful with the trans* spectrum from all around the word in real time meetings. It is also possible to not turn on a camera if one is worried about privacy.

I am not the only person from Trans Pulse who attends. If going to real life straight meeting is difficult or not, these meetings offer a great alternative. To join us please an e-mail to https://oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/tggroup_oso-aa.org . You will be sent links to join us. or PM me here at Trans Pulse and i'll help.

Hope to see you there.

Hugs,

Charlize

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you I'll take a look.  Other issue is I don't have much privacy at home, and I work 3-11 most days, but I'm sure I can make one of them work on one of my days off.  Thank you for the resources.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hi Natalie (and everyone else): I found the pandemic was becoming a drinking problem for me and through my therapist, I found Moderation Management, a website that has meetings on Zoom, there are specific meetings for all purposes. I recommend you go to the website and find one (or two) that fits your schedule. Just give it a try, maybe it can help without the narrow constraints of AA guilt. Moderation Management is just that, not the strict abstinence AA is based on. They encourage having a plan and provide ways to help you achieve your goals. It is a place to go and express yourself with out judgement. Only supportive peers and it's totally confidential.

Hugs, Wanda 

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/5/2021 at 9:58 PM, Natalie71645 said:

Hi everyone,

 

Im five and a half months into HRT.  I don't drink every day, but I almost feel like I have a compulsion to every day off from work.  On top of that I do, and think things I would never think sober.  I think of self harming, which is something I had a problem with in the past, but not in years.  Also this past time I smoked which is something else I haven't done in years.  I talk to people online I would never talk to sober.  I even sent a topless picture to someone I didn't know one of these times.  I've had problems with alcohol in the past, like pretty bad.  Some drugs too but mainly alcohol.  I could go into specifics but the point is that between dysphoria, work, kids, and a divorce, life is stressful.  My days off don't feel like days off any more unless I have a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed.  For a couple months now I've said I'm not going to do it on my next day off, but I still do.  My x (who um still friends with) doesn't really care as long as I'm still holding down the job.  I haven't been to a meeting since before I met my x, and I'm considering starting up again.  I just want a trans friendly one.  Any way that's life right now.  I'm just lonely.

Hey, I am working on this too. I had a black out last Saturday (not yesterday but week before) from bourbon. I have dangerous binge drinking episodes and do get into period of daily drinking after work. I have cravings and on stressful days just really need it. Strangely I have been thinking about picking up smoking cigarettes as well but so far have been able to stave that off. I've been having a great time with my local AA meetings. They are very accepting of me, don't care at all that I am trans and tell me to keep coming back. I have sponsor now and she said that while she doesn't understand trans issues very well, she will try. Most people including my sponsor gender me right. I live in a conservative area and I'm one of very few trans people that are out and visible at least, but as I understand it the spirit of AA is to be welcoming and accepting of all people, it is kind of set in the program to help people be more open about things.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm so glad you shared with us here Rainflower.  I can relate to that craving.  I seems miracle that over time that need has gone away.  Like you i found acceptance and support in AA.  

If you are interested please do join us at TGAA.  We meet on Zoom 4 evenings a week with other AA trans folks from all around the country and world.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
On 8/8/2021 at 1:31 PM, Charlize said:

I'm so glad you shared with us here Rainflower.  I can relate to that craving.  I seems miracle that over time that need has gone away.  Like you i found acceptance and support in AA.  

If you are interested please do join us at TGAA.  We meet on Zoom 4 evenings a week with other AA trans folks from all around the country and world.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Thanks, I might drop in some time. How do I get the zoom link?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

To join us please an e-mail to https://oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/tggroup_oso-aa.org 

We do have a bit of a sign in process so that we are safe.  Some members are long term stealth while others are exploring their gender feelings.  We all have an issue with alcohol (and substances) as well as gender issues.  TGAA gives us a safe and supportive space.

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Charlize said:

To join us please an e-mail to https://oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/tggroup_oso-aa.org 

We do have a bit of a sign in process so that we are safe.  Some members are long term stealth while others are exploring their gender feelings.  We all have an issue with alcohol (and substances) as well as gender issues.  TGAA gives us a safe and supportive space.

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Ok, I submitted the form on that page.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Great!  Hope to see you soon.

We have the list serve but ask to join the Zoom meetings and you will get set up.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 94 Guests (See full list)

    • Stacie.H
    • Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Jamey-Heather
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Lorelei
    • Ashley0616
    • Skyline
    • RaineOnYourParade
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am
    • EasyE
      It is sad that we can't have more open and honest dialogue on these types of topics because there is worthy debate for sure. But instead we have become a country where the only goal is to seize political power and then legislate our particular agenda and views of morality.   Remember as you read my thoughts below, that I am transgender. OK? I am pro-trans. I am trans.   But my middle school aged daughter would be extremely uncomfortable using a school bathroom also used by a biological male, as would nearly all of her friends. That side has to be considered. It's not invalidating to a trans youth's experience to take that into account and hash out what is for the common good of as many people as possible. This is reality - one person's gender expression makes others uncomfortable, in all directions. And there is disagreement on the best way to handle these types of things.   Why can't we talk about these things openly, without the inevitable name-calling that follows, and let all sides have their input and work up suitable solutions? (I bet the kids, if left alone, would work up the best solutions)... Instead, we go straight to trying to pass laws, as if we need more of those!   And why wouldn't we want parents to know if their child has decided to change their pronouns? That's a big deal and parents are right to raise that as a concern. I certainly would want to know. Not that we need to legislate this, but I would have a hard time with school administrators who try to hide this from me. They are out of line. This is my child. Whether you like my viewpoints or not, I am the parent. Not the school.    Again, I am pro-trans. I am trans. At the same point, I recognize that validating a transgender individual's gender identity doesn't trump everything else in society. And sometimes I see that creeping into these discussions. Plus, we fight a losing battle if we have to have others' validation. We are never going to get it from everybody. Ever. Not even Jesus got it and He is God himself!   This country can be very beautiful as we each exercise our freedom to be who we are and let others do the same. But my freedom ends where yours begins and vice-versa. That requires self-sacrifice. Sometimes we have to fall back out of respect for others. Sometimes we have to let the parent be the parent even if we disagree with their politics.   My cry in the wilderness is just can we please have more open, honest dialogue where both sides try take the other's views into consideration and quit automatically going the legislative route to criminalize the other side's viewpoints.   Sorry for the rant but sometimes all of this wears me out... deep sigh... 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Bite by bite, acrobatics in abdomen
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Yesterday when I put that shirt on I saw a woman looking back out of the mirror at me.  Usually I have looked and been very frustrated because I see a man where there should be a woman.  I was expecting to see a man wearing a woman's shirt, but it was a woman wearing a woman's shirt.   On the spectrum between intersex and trans, I am more thinking I am a lot more intersex than trans, and it is only a matter of time before my wife says "you need a bra" and then "you look like a woman!" She told me whatever I want to do is fine with her, she loves me no matter what, and I am thinking that there may be a lot more for her in this than she could possibly expect. I'm not pushing it with her.
    • Petra Jane
      We have been asked to post this study.   I'm an undergraduate university student in my third year completing a BSc in Anthropology. I'm working on my dissertation, looking at languages with grammatical gender (e.g. languages like Italian and Spanish, nouns are either masculine or feminine). I'm curious if this affects/bothers people with gender identities outside the typical binary of male and female, like non-binary or transgender identities. Using this forum, I would be very grateful if anyone could answer the 5 questions I have put together in a Google form, they are open-ended questions, and you can be as brief or detailed as you want/comfortable with! All responses will also be kept anonymous. As you can probably guess, I came to online forums because finding participants in person is difficult. Talking about gender identities, I understand, can be very personal, so this online anonymised format can be safer. :) If anyone is also particularly interested in this topic, it would be awesome to message one-on-one and do the Google form survey. Having one and one interviews would also be good research! But NONE of this is compulsory, and only if anyone is interested and doesn't mind helping me out and can do so. Institution Supervising Research Study University of Kent Web Address for Study Participation https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS9zU_dt3RR1V8-3s_0EnDl6w-jsS6-WOZO41uWeqUP0q_YQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      @Mia MarieI found this    Here are critical resources to help transgender seniors face the challenges of growing older - LGBTQ Nation   As far as financial aid I came up empty. :( I'm sorry. I can only imagine what you are going through. 
    • Ashley0616
      @Adrianna Daniellecongratulations to you and your boyfriend! Hopefully a future wedding in the future!   @WillowI'm sorry about that he passed away. He sounded like a role model that others should follow.   @MmindyI'm sorry about your head cold! Hopefully it won't last too long and hope for good rest and recovery. 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning Mia,   This is a great question, and I'm looking forward to the input from others.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mia Marie
      I see more and more postings with what the LGBTQ support organizations are doing and I see less and less about helping the older generation of us. All I really see is them wanting to help transgender youths and no matter how many times I ask for help, they tell me they can't help or they tell me the office I contacted only works with the youth only. Is there an organization that helps older transgender people? All I find when I do a search turns out with nothing more than talking about trans youths. I feel as though us older trasn folks are being left out. I applied for financial help in a form of a grant, twice, and was turned down with no explanations of why. They did ask me to help go over applications which told me I was automatically denied. Really doesn't seem fair, does it?  
    • Ivy
      Require students to use bathrooms that align with the gender they were assigned at birth Prohibit transgender girls in seventh grade or older from participating in girls sports or other girls-only activities  Ban gender-affirming health care — including surgery or hormone treatment — for transgender students under age 18, even if parents consent or the treatment is recommended by a doctor Require schools to notify parents if students change their pronouns or otherwise signal they identify as a gender other than what’s on their official student records Doesn't look like it "protects" anybody.  It actually is about restricting trans kids rights.   The ways politicians name their bills etc. is a farce.  Most of the time they do the opposite of what they're called.
    • Mmindy
      Thank you @VickySGVfor locating and posting this document. I'm saving it as a PDF on my laptop. I'll move it to my iPad later.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ivy
      There's a lot of bad information out there.  People like the sensational stuff, whether it's true or not.   Too many people live in a news/opinion bubble.  My ex's late husband kept Fox News on 24/7.  It was always there in the background of their life.  There is something about "trans" stuff every day, and always negative.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...