Good Advice

[Janae]

I wanted to share some thoughts on the great advice that I have received.   For most of the folks new to TP, one of the first pieces of advice you will get is to see a gender therapist. I know, because I certainly did, an it took me more than 2 years to finally act on that.

Please don’t be scared, or embarrassed to seek counseling. I found a wonderful therapist, and have weekly sessions. I really look forward to my time with her.  It has helped me immensely. I am a much happier person.

At the risk of inadvertently missing a name, I will simply say Thank you to all who have provided me guidance and support. 
Thank you. ❤️
 

Janae

[Heather Shay]

@Janae Absolutely the best advice you can give. I had different therapists over the years treating me for depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anorexia. None talked gender. I saught out a gender specialist and it made all the difference in the world and I have never been happier. Finding a good therapist is extremely important and if you go to a therapist and don't feel comfortable (like doctors or dentists or other healthcare specialists) find one you do relate to because it will be the most important decision you can make.

[jennifer7]

Hi!
I an new to the forum.. and new to gender therapy. My first session was earlier in the week. I hope my experience helps someone else..

 

My backstory is nearly 57, wife of 30+ years who knows nothing. 3 adult children.. never ever ever did I think I'd make the call or send the email. Email is wonderful.. and let me set up a few screening calls. I cast a wide net and over half the replies were gentle "my practice is filled" notes.

 

One call in particular went well. She takes my insurance. Used Jennifer when we spoke. Yes! A big deal for me, a first hearing my name said.  We worked out billing, insurance, etc. I made it clear, no outcome is etched in stone for me.

I went to my session with a list of notes. I went through my childhood, then my story. She listened, supported. Didnt judge. Offered alternatives. Offered to help mediate when I tell my family.

 

I go back in a few weeks. I can't wait. I've always thought I couldn't ever transition.. but now, well, let's think about it..

 

 

[Heather Shay]

Find comfort in knowing you are not alone. I'm in my late 60's annd been seeking yet hiding all my life and finding a therapist was the most important step you could take to finding out and keeping an open mind while you search is very wise.

Hugs,

Heather

[Astrid]

1 hour ago, jennifer7 said:

I an new to the forum.. and new to gender therapy. My first session was earlier in the week. ... 

My backstory is nearly 57, wife of 30+ years who knows nothing.

 

Great to hear that you had a good first meeting with your therapist, @jennifer7!  If you reach a point where you are nearer to being ready to come out to your spouse, you might want to consider discussing with your therapist about both of you attending therapy -- where you wife can voice her concerns and hear from an experienced professional.  

 

My own experience was slightly different -- I came out to my wife first, but then we shortly thereafter began therapy together (with her attending all but the first session). It was a terrific opportunity for us to communicate honestly and listen to each other and to the helpful observations of an experienced gender therapist.

 

Best wishes on your journey!

 

Astrid

 

 

[Janae]

3 hours ago, Astrid said:

I came out to my wife first, but then we shortly thereafter began therapy together (with her attending all but the first session). It was a terrific opportunity for us to communicate honestly and listen to each other and to the helpful observations of an experienced gender therapist

I am hoping that I can get my wife to attend with me at some point.  It is very difficult for cis folks to understand what is happening with their spouse or partner, and the internet has plenty of misinformation on transgender people.  This can be an emotional time for both of you.  
 

Glad to hear you have found a therapist, and wish you well on your journey 

 

Janae