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on HRT. How do I tell my wife?

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I started HRT 3 months ago.... I didn't tell her then because I wasn't sure if it was for me.... Now I'm startig to feel changes, and I'm loving them!!! I don;t want to stop..... I don't want to keep her in the dark.... I just can't work up the courage to tell her!?!?!? She knows I have issues..... but i don't think she realizes I really want to transition further...  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! Help a girl out??

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Torrence Kieran

I think being honest and straightforward would be best. If you know how the two of you communicate best try and adapt it to that form. If that's through writing try doing a letter or email. If it's through art draw something and then explain it. If it's just normal talking sit her down and let her know what you need for your happiness. I hope this helped a little bit!

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5 hours ago, Shawnster said:

I started HRT 3 months ago.... I didn't tell her then because I wasn't sure if it was for me.... Now I'm startig to feel changes, and I'm loving them!!! I don;t want to stop..... I don't want to keep her in the dark

I agree with @Torrence Kieran Also, I quoted this section of your original post because this is a lot of what your wife needs to know, right here. You can tell her these things. Lead with reassurance--that you treasure your relationship and have no intention of changing your devotion to her and you want your connection to be as close and deep as it can--or whatever words suit your style. Use a prewritten card to express the sentiments if necessary. Start with reassurance, and tell her the exact truth. Emphasize the reason for the delay and that sharing with her means so much to you.

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Well, since you've already started HRT, eventually she's going to know something's... different.  I would try and find a quiet time when there weren't likely to be interruptions, then just drop the news.  It's not something you can dance around forever, and it's knd of too late to beat around the bush in an effort to get a feel for how she'll react.


One piece of advice - tell her that you KNOW you shuld have broght this up sooner.  She'll probably be thinking that anyway, but it can't hurt to say it out loud.


I wish you the best of luck.

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I know everyone will tell you to tell her, and I guess you should, but I did the same thing and don’t think it was a bad approach for me. Everyone emphasizes telling the truth, but sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth, or won’t accept certain things about people, even—or especially—if those people are close. I suspect you didn’t tell her BEFORE starting because you feared or even knew that she would try to stop you. If this is something you feel you had to do, I don’t think there’s a problem with having started. However, the changes will eventually become obvious, and if you don’t bring it up, she will. At that point, you will need to have an answer. Hopefully, she will begin to be more accepting once she sees how very serious you have become. Actually, that’s what happened with me. So even though the orthodox advice will be to tell her soon, waiting until she starts to notice will give her time to process your determination to change. Good luck to you. Be sure to treat her with respect and love whatever happens.

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